bubtherug Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Firstly, I want to say how great this site is. I'm looking forward to getting involved with other people and their issues. ---------------- My ex of 4 years, cheated left me for a man much older man (we're 25 , he's 40s). After more than 1 year of not seeing her, I'm coming back to my home city to start my life again (I worked abroad). From an experienced person, what is your opinion of how to best handle the situation? I obviously still feel angry (deep inside), humiliated and inadequate after the process of being cheated on and left high and dry. I obviously want to save face. Is the answer to ignore? Tell her's "she's blown any chance at reconciliation?", pretend to be nice to her (my experience tells me she'd just be trying to get rid of her guilt by being nice to me).
mikezombie777 Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Say absolutely nothing. Ignore her like she doesn't exist.
cdt76 Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 develope a sudden case of terettes syndrome and call her every name in the book....
YellowShark Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Say nothing. Do nothing. She betrayed you and doesn't deserve a single word. This is how I treat my cheating EX. As far as feeling angry, thats natural. But don't feel humiliated or inadequate because you aren't. She cheated, she's history, and that's the bottom line.
DustySaltus Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Avoid her like the plague. As far as she knows, everything in your life is OUTSTANDING. You had a great trip abroad, met some wonderful people and enriched your life. As much as it hurts inside, the best response is indifference.
Author bubtherug Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 (edited) Say nothing. Do nothing. She betrayed you and doesn't deserve a single word. This is how I treat my cheating EX. As far as feeling angry, thats natural. But don't feel humiliated or inadequate because you aren't. She cheated, she's history, and that's the bottom line. Great advice. As for the cheating part. It's 99% sure i'd say. Just to give you the scenario. We were having problems, I go off for work trip (3 weeks), in that time she's "lonely" (we fight on phone). He keeps her company for 3 weeks. I get back, she's being super rude, she spends her long weekend with him (he takes her out as a "friend", we were still fighting). We break up 2 days later after 1 fight. 1 week later she's with him. She never spoke to me again. The true "betray" part was the aftermath I believe. She humiliated me in public social sites, in front of her friends.....this is after 4 years of me taking care of her mother in the hospital, of her, helping her in infinite ways. This is someone who lived a very lonely, bitter life and had no one up until this point. lol. Sorry. I sound way too bitter and I'm making myself unrealistically seem like an angel. But the truth is, even the most experienced daters (who would say: Suck it up, we've all been there. forgive and forget) have agreed with my view : "Damn....unforgivable what she did and how she treated you after all you did". So yeah, just making sure that this is the right choice. "Never speak to her again". Edited July 28, 2010 by bubtherug
norajane Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 If you run into her and she speaks to you, you could look all confused and say, "Do I know you?" and look down your nose at her. Better yet, just walk away. She's nothing to you now, and should stay that way.
mickleb Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. And hang out here. She'll be out of your system in no time. x
Author bubtherug Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 thanks guys. Is this how most of you reacted when seeing your exes for the first time?
spriggig Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 thanks guys. Is this how most of you reacted when seeing your exes for the first time? Did'ja come her for advice or stories, 'cause those are two different things. Heh.
cdt76 Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Your story is so similar to mine. Only I have to work with the other dude! So while I no longer have contact with the ex, I do have contact with her new man, who happened to hook up in the same manner yours did, same circumstances. I do not speak to him and he dares not speak to me. I don't use his name and he knows nothing about what I'm doing these days. Can you totally ignore someone you see everyday? Yes. I do it. She no longer gets the privelage of having you in her world. That's just the way it has to be.
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