stella alpina Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 We met 7 months ago, I know not long we decided to go travelling together for a year so we moved in . Now it's over and don't even know what went wrong. It just died, one day we were doing great and he was saying all these lovely things to me and the next he wasn't as caring or loving as he always was and I have issues with pride so turned cold very often. Llast week I instigated the break up conversation and then he left me and said he would go travelling by himself and we should go our separate ways. I kicked him out last week when we broke up, then we kept in touch and decided to meet because we still have feelings for each other . So we were supposed to meet 2 days ago and on that day not a word from him even after a text from me, so yesterday I contact him and ask what happened ? he doesnt even apologize until i tell him we were supposed to meet he says he was recovering from the night out before and forgot or wasn't even able to walk properly. He's leaving in one week for at least a year so I said can we meet ? he didnt seem too interested and just said we should speak in a month and if we still feel the same way then i should join him the other side of the world. He said he really needed this month alone. I said ok then i sent him text after text asking him to speak openly to me and we should meet , saying take all the time you need if i'm gone i'm gone etc... I received little/ no answers, i try calling he texts saying he's busy at work can't talk. i said fine speak later. then i thought what ???? why should I sit around for someone who doesnt even find the time to talk to me ? If it really mattered to him , if he really cared about me he would find the time and answer my texts .... so i text and say come over tonight if you're serious about us waiting a month or don't even bother anymore i understand you're confused but what am i supposed to think if you cant even find the time to talk to me ? no answer to that and not a word since.... thing is i know he is not right for me , we are too different, we would not be happy in the long run and he doesnt care enough about me or treat me as i deserve to be treated. So all in all I should be happy right ? instead i'm dying inside want to cry all the time don't feel like doing anything, seeing anyone, working or hanging out with friends. I just want him in my bed again and I know that's never going to happen and that he didnt really care for me that much at all and that the beggining is never real and that i will never see him or hear from him again. all this makes me hurt soooo much. How can someone treat me like this ? just ignore me ? not care about the way i feel not care that i want to talk not care about the change of plans i had to make to go travelling with him about the money i lost with the ticket .... and i feel like such an idiot for running after him for trying to talk for liking him as much as you wen he doesnt' care about me that much, i am a commodity to be kept in the back burner . What a sac of XXXX it hurts soooo much
Author stella alpina Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 I just wanted to let all of you know that I am doing much better ... the first thing you need to do if you are in the same position as me is accept it's over stop bargaining , really accept this is the end of life as you knew it because this chapter of your life is over . stop hoping he calls stop visualising you both living happily ever after it is not going to happen, The sooner you accept this the quicker you are going to move on. I have managed to accept this today and i feel much better already . The pain will start going away and it will be replaced by a sensation of lightness and freedom which trusts me feels amazing . It is harsh but you will come out of this unhurt undamaged stronger and happier. I know this is a lot to ask but try it really try it . Love to you all
Recommended Posts