JTMCMG Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I already had my 2nd chance and i made a really dumb mistake of breaking up with her. And i dont know what to do to possibly repair things relationship-wise. Ill start off telling the whole story and whatnot. So we met and started dating in highschool over 2 years ago and were both nearing 21. We dated for about a year and a half before she broke up with me because i did something really stupid and it involved ruining plans for my birthday she made. So after all that happened, we decided to be friends and maybe a week later one of my friends decided to flip out on her since he thought she was no longer that important to me and i wouldnt care. But that upset her and she cut me off completely for 2 months until i decided to message her. So after telling her i missed her she told me the whole "i dont want a relationship from you" bit. And somehow i convinced her to let me back in but we started slowly, like a month and a half before i asked her to be mine again. And we went strong for another 8 months til march and the last week were together it got a little ugly. Now this ugly part wasnt the reason i broke up with her. I actually wanted to get through school before we got legit serious. And i wanted to at least take a break for a while just so we didnt get between each others schooling. So she cut me off again completely which was alright for a little bit, then yes, i started missing her and regretting that i broke up with her. I really couldve thought it through better. So it had been a month and a half or so and i wrote her a 10 page letter explaining why i did what i did and all i got back was "i appreciate the letter but i cant do it again" then some small talk. Then she never messaged me again until my bday. I got sick of thinking about her and the situation so i messaged her exactly how i felt, what ive done to change the way i was, and that im done playing games. And i really did change and am ready to give it 110%. Heres both sides: She first says things like "ive given you so many chances, i cant just pick up where we left off. Dont you think itd better to just be friends? Thats how im feeling, i dont know" and "you shouldnt be worrying over a relationship when youre stressing about school and work" and "im not promising anything so i guess well see. I know how i feel and i dont know if thatll change". This is all in response to me saying i want to give her everying ive got. After a while it turned into things like "you shouldnt waste your time, i feel if we get back together it wont be until after we grow up. I dont think a summer will change things, maybe a year but not a summer" and "i still miss you but i think we could get over each other and be really good friends" (that wont workout, it never does!) and "we should date other people if it comes up". This is pretty much how she feels towards what i said. My side, to sum it up, is i want to get back together but i dont want to jump into it. I wanted to take it extremely slow and gradually show her how much i want her and what she means to me exactly. And maybe next year or something everything will be perfect. I dont want to date new people because i feel its a waste of time for my cause. The situation as of now (like 2 months after all this ^) is confusing. I text her everyday and see how things are going like her day and stuff like that. Every once in a while ill give her a day or two break from talking to me so i dont overdo it. She currently is in a "me time" state. She wants her own time to do her own thing and i totally respect that. She told me i sounded like ive grown up which i guess is a plus. And she knows what i want to do with my life. But the thing is i dont know if shell want to see me before she goes back to school in sept. That could be the very start of getting things back to normal who knows. Keep in mind i havent seen her since march and we just text now. I dont know what to do. I need some advice on where to go from here
jsa100100 Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 what an emotional roller coaster. man honestly, from one guy to another, you need to stop acting on your emotions and start thinking clearly with your head. Breaking up, getting back together, then texting everyday? Too much drama for me but I guess to each his own. I think what you need is YOU time. As in, seriously think about your goals and life and enough of this-your world revolving around her. You're going to be in for a nasty surprise if she starts dating someone else, and she seems to be using you as an emotional crutch until she can find someone new. how do you feel being a backup? If you don't mind, then you guys still have a chance.
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