A huge mess

July 28, 2010

I really can't believe that there is so little regard for human life...the baby is a baby period...if the government gives a "choice" to jump off a bridge are you going to do it? Just because it's legal doesnot make it right.

The most dangerous place for a baby in this day and hour is the mothers womb...a very sad state we live in. Very discouraging.

Did you have any regard for the wife of the man you cheated with? Not a shot, but if you care SO MUCH for human life, well his wife was human

July 28, 2010

If you cannot make your response directly related to the original post, or related to other posts which relate directly to the original post, THEN PLEASE DO NOT POST AT ALL. Many thanks for your cooperation.

Saw this after I posted. Agreed, the radicals need to always make this about God.

Back on topic

July 28, 2010

I know... I just don't know if it's fair to put them also through this turmoil, especially if I don't go through with the pregnancy.
While my parents would support me, they are also quite conservative, you know?

Oh man... do they have counseling at abortion clinics? Counseling you go through before you reach a decision?

Yes, at places like Planned Parenthood, and your school might also have resources available for you through student health services, possibly including sexual health/reproduction counselors who have talked to pregnant students like yourself. Have you booked an appointment with an OBGYN? Talk to your doctor as well about your options and ask for referrals/suggestions on counselors.

July 28, 2010

Ten pages of bickering and this is why I said on page one that "from now on, for the rest of your life, women should look at cheating married men as "off limits." It will save you a truck-load of heartache."

July 28, 2010

Ten pages of bickering and this is why I said on page one that "from now on, for the rest of your life, women should look at cheating married men as "off limits." It will save you a truck-load of heartache."

No, in the 10 pages of bickering I have actually found useful comments and advice. This particular comment - does nothing for me.

Had I asked in my thread ''Hey guys, I am sleeping with a married man, what do I do in the future?'' your post would actually be on topic.

However, I asked what do I do now.

I clarified several times during this thread that I will not continue my relationship with this man. So what are you trying to say?

Your advice for me dealing with my present situation is to avoid the situation in the future. LOL.

Thanks.

P.S. Sorry, I don't mean to be bratty, especially as a new member. But it really rubs me the wrong way when I see that you guys get reprimanded for your 'bickering' when you are actually trying to help. Unlike this one.

July 28, 2010

Your advice for me dealing with my present situation is to avoid the situation in the future. LOL. Thanks.

My advice is what should have gone through your head immediately when this happened:

The we were at this dinner party that was thrown and we basicly spend the whole night hanging out and yes, flirting. That night as we were talking he mentioned his wife. And we spend some 5 minutes talking about her and his boys. And then we were back to flirting.

'nuff said.

July 28, 2010

No, in the 10 pages of bickering I have actually found useful comments and advice. This particular comment - does nothing for me.

Had I asked in my thread ''Hey guys, I am sleeping with a married man, what do I do in the future?'' your post would actually be on topic.

However, I asked what do I do now.

I clarified several times during this thread that I will not continue my relationship with this man. So what are you trying to say?

Your advice for me dealing with my present situation is to avoid the situation in the future. LOL.
Thanks.

P.S. Sorry, I don't mean to be bratty, especially as a new member. But it really rubs me the wrong way when I see that you guys get reprimanded for your 'bickering' when you are actually trying to help. Unlike this one.

You do know no one can answer the question right? You are the only one with the answer. A group of people on an intenet board with differing opinions and life experiences won't be with you when you have to make the choice. Get all the professional info you can, talk with a counselor and try to look at all sides. I am well aware that the decision isn't easy and there will be consequences either way but only you can find the answer you are looking for.

July 28, 2010

My advice is what should have gone through your head immediately when this happened:

You can't 'advise' on the past Yellow Shark. It happened. Hopefully - lesson learned.

July 28, 2010

You can't 'advise' on the past Yellow Shark. It happened. Hopefully - lesson learned.

Exactly. Thank you.

As I said ''could've, would've, should've. But didn't.''

So there's really no point in telling me what I should have done. Because I didn't do it. Unless you have a time machine, that advice is useless.

And yes, I know all of you can't tell me what to do. But some advice and perspective from people who have been in similar situation is helpful. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted.

July 28, 2010

Op you might want to look up the poster Gwyneth. She went through a similar experience.

GEL

July 28, 2010

Exactly. Thank you.
As I said ''could've, would've, should've. But didn't.''

So there's really no point in telling me what I should have done. Because I didn't do it. Unless you have a time machine, that advice is useless.

And yes, I know all of you can't tell me what to do. But some advice and perspective from people who have been in similar situation is helpful. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted.

I'm as guilty of 'Coulda, woulda, shoulda...' just don't have the same consequences. I don't want to advise you Noelle, as I've never been in your shoes, same as a lot of people, so I wouldn't want to influence you with such a huge deciision. Only you knows what's best. You'll figure it out.

Good luck.

July 28, 2010

Op you might want to look up the poster Gwyneth. She went through a similar experience.

GEL

Thank you... It really is similar.

She kept it.

July 28, 2010

You can't 'advise' on the past Yellow Shark. It happened. Hopefully - lesson learned.

Noelle303 has 11 pages of advice from many other posters that she can process.

As I said ''could've, would've, should've. But didn't.''

And that is why I am warning the readers of this thread that "women should look at cheating married men as "off limits." It will save you a truck-load of heartache."

July 28, 2010

I know... I just don't know if it's fair to put them also through this turmoil, especially if I don't go through with the pregnancy.
While my parents would support me, they are also quite conservative, you know?

Oh man... do they have counseling at abortion clinics? Counseling you go through before you reach a decision?

I posted the link to planned parenthood yesterday. Check them out and hopefully they have a location near you.

July 28, 2010

Thank you... It really is similar.

She kept it.

Your situation isn't all that uncommon. I know it's difficult but it has happened to several posters over the years.

You are not alone. Just make the best decision you can for yourself and circumstances.

You'll get lots of support, no matter your choice.

GEL

July 28, 2010

Noelle303 has 11 pages of advice from many other posters that she can process.

And that is why I am warning the readers of this thread that "women should look at cheating married men as "off limits." It will save you a truck-load of heartache."

If there is one thing the readers of this thread can get from this thread, it is that this is not a desirable situation to be in. They don't need your Public Service Announcment.

July 28, 2010

Yes, she is a 20 year old girl who was old enough to make the choice to have sex with a MM. I guess I missed the part where he lied to her. Can you please show me where that is before I make anymore comments? If she was lied to, it changes the dynamic so I really want to know. Thank you.

He made out that he had deep feeling for her, clearly, and all he wanted was to have sex with her. That's a lie. To us oldies it i pretty obvious but to a 20 yr old, she hasn't yet accrued the wisdom to tell the douche's from the honet ones

July 28, 2010

If there is one thing the readers of this thread can get from this thread, it is that this is not a desirable situation to be in. They don't need your Public Service Announcment.

Too right. My God, the glee at which some posters are bringing a world of doom into the OP's line of view. SHE GETS IT. She knows she messed up, it has happened, and it is completely useless saying 'don't get with a MM'. Talk about closing the gate after the horse has bolted. She KNOWS she was stupid for doing that. But now we have a 20yr old, on her own and thinking about having a baby and she needs advice. I am so surprised that some people are so into kicking her when she is down - it isn't fair.

July 28, 2010

If there is one thing the readers of this thread can get from this thread, it is that this is not a desirable situation to be in. They don't need your Public Service Announcment.

Sometimes people do need a "Public Service Announcement." Because there are people out there reading Loveshack right now that knowingly get mixed up with married men and cheat with them.

Then, when they get pregnant, they can't say they haven't been warned.

Perhaps if you had read this thread BEFORE you got yourself into this pickle you would have run the other way instead of doing what you did.

Anyhow, I leave you to your predicament... have a nice day.

July 28, 2010

Thank you... It really is similar.

She kept it.

The part you edited out but I saw in e-mail is key. IMO it's really healthy for you to see balance, in that there are different paths based on the choices you make. Reading the perception of those paths by the people who've walked them is, or can be, enlightening. PP will show you other aspects of the different paths; your doctor, other; your parents, other. You gather up these perspectives and reflect upon *you* and make a choice which is healthy for *you*. Then, take responsibility for that choice, hold your head up high, and move forward. That's part of being an adult. It will work out

July 28, 2010

Noelle you are smart enough to know this but just because other posters have kept the baby or didnt keep the baby (there are threads regarding both) doesnt mean that is the right decision for you.

We dont know you other than through these posts.

Only you know your feelings on the subject, your situation, your family etc etc etc.

July 28, 2010

Just wanted to say hi noelle303 and send you big hugs. I am sorry you find yourself in this position. I hope that you decide what is best for YOU and hope that you get the support that you need whether you decide to keep the baby or not. Not an easy situation to be in, but either way you will get through this and become a stronger woman for this. If we didn't make mistakes we would never learn nor grow as a person and I believe everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes are life-changing and not necessarily negative.

Good luck to you sweetie!

July 28, 2010

Sometimes people do need a "Public Service Announcement." Because there are people out there reading Loveshack right now that knowingly get mixed up with married men and cheat with them.

Then, when they get pregnant, they can't say they haven't been warned.

Perhaps if you had read this thread BEFORE you got yourself into this pickle you would have run the other way instead of doing what you did.

Anyhow, I leave you to your predicament... have a nice day.

My situation is the deterant. Not your warning. Your warning is something that everyone has already heard atleast once in their life.

The part you edited out but I saw in e-mail is key. IMO it's really healthy for you to see balance, in that there are different paths based on the choices you make. Reading the perception of those paths by the people who've walked them is, or can be, enlightening. PP will show you other aspects of the different paths; your doctor, other; your parents, other. You gather up these perspectives and reflect upon *you* and make a choice which is healthy for *you*. Then, take responsibility for that choice, hold your head up high, and move forward. That's part of being an adult. It will work out

Thanks. I know... I want to see different experiences. I really do, I posted for that very reason.

But it stung me to see that. Just like it stings me to read posts about babies flushed down the sink. It stings me either way...

I'm gonna make an appointment today. Should I schedule with my regular gyn or PP? I'm guessing with PP I'll get an appointment quicker?

July 28, 2010

Noel, you asked about whether PP would provide counseling. While they do, it is definitely biased toward termination. Back when I was 19, I found myself pregnant by a guy who had no interest in raising a child, but sent money for an abortion. Yes, I knew better back then, but I was pregnant and unbelievably ashamed, so I completely understand how some comments are very unhelpful. The regret is already overwhelming, so various comments, suggestions, and advice ends up becoming white noise in the background after a while and you're no further along in knowing what to do.

All the advice I received was to terminate because my life would be over if I didn't. My mom sent me to my sister's, who dropped me off at a PP clinic. Yes, I was given informational materials, and I had a counseling session, but when I asked about what the baby looked like at the point of how far along I was, I was told "you don't really need to know, and you wouldn't be able to see anything right now anyway." I asked about resources should I decide to keep the baby, and was told they would do me little good since I was there for termination and the counseling was for that specifically.

To this day, I wish I had walked out of that place and gone to an unbiased clinic/counselor who would have taken the TIME I needed to help me truly make an informed decision. This is not meant to be a preachy post, but one that is to simply urge you to find proper counsel first before you make a decision. One that will show you your options, the resources available, and what you can expect longterm in both scenarios. When you arrive at a decision, you want to do so knowing you've looked at all the angles and without influence from those who have something to gain or lose from it.

As for MM, I'm glad you are telling him, since I think he needs to know. Be strong, and don't let him be one of those influences I mentioned above (no matter what his position).

Take care of yourself and listen to your body. Try to drink lots of water and rest as much as possible. It's normal to experience a lot of fatigue in the first weeks of pregnancy. Keep us posted on what you decide and how things go.

July 28, 2010

Noel, you asked about whether PP would provide counseling. While they do, it is definitely biased toward termination. Back when I was 19, I found myself pregnant by a guy who had no interest in raising a child, but sent money for an abortion. Yes, I knew better back then, but I was pregnant and unbelievably ashamed, so I completely understand how some comments are very unhelpful. The regret is already overwhelming, so various comments, suggestions, and advice ends up becoming white noise in the background after a while and you're no further along in knowing what to do.

All the advice I received was to terminate because my life would be over if I didn't. My mom sent me to my sister's, who dropped me off at a PP clinic. Yes, I was given informational materials, and I had a counseling session, but when I asked about what the baby looked like at the point of how far along I was, I was told "you don't really need to know, and you wouldn't be able to see anything right now anyway." I asked about resources should I decide to keep the baby, and was told they would do me little good since I was there for termination and the counseling was for that specifically.

To this day, I wish I had walked out of that place and gone to an unbiased clinic/counselor who would have taken the TIME I needed to help me truly make an informed decision. This is not meant to be a preachy post, but one that is to simply urge you to find proper counsel first before you make a decision. One that will show you your options, the resources available, and what you can expect longterm in both scenarios. When you arrive at a decision, you want to do so knowing you've looked at all the angles and without influence from those who have something to gain or lose from it.

As for MM, I'm glad you are telling him, since I think he needs to know. Be strong, and don't let him be one of those influences I mentioned above (no matter what his position).

Take care of yourself and listen to your body. Try to drink lots of water and rest as much as possible. It's normal to experience a lot of fatigue in the first weeks of pregnancy. Keep us posted on what you decide and how things go.

Thanks.

Yeah, it's exactly why I think maybe I should make an appointment with my gyn and she can write a referral to a clinic or something.

I don't know... Planned Parenthood seems so final, you know?

Sign In

A huge mess

Recommended Posts

RedDevil66

RedDevil66

sweetjasmine

YellowShark

noelle303

YellowShark

bentnotbroken

Hazyhead

noelle303

GreenEyedLady

Hazyhead

noelle303

YellowShark

Mimolicious

GreenEyedLady

noelle303

torranceshipman

torranceshipman

YellowShark

carhill

jj33

ladydesigner

noelle303

Fight4Me

noelle303

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...