vanillabean Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 (edited) I cheated on my current boy 2 years ago in an intense love triangle involving me, my boyfriend, and another guy. My boyfriend and I got together soon after all my secrets and lies were revealed. Ever since, my boyfriend and I have continued our exclusive relationship happily for almost 2 years now. Recently my boyfriend and I talked about my past indiscretion and how it affected us both. My boyfriend never really opened up about the subject, so after I told him again how sorry I was for putting us through that hell, he began to cry and for once express how hurt he truly was. We left each other that night without settling the matter. Like where we stood, and if we should still continue dating, or maybe move on from one another, since I ruined important parts of our relationship 2 years ago? We haven't spoken since that conversation, which was two days ago. I want to give him space and let him decide what we should do. It is hard for me to wait for his response though. I love him and that night I was just saying sorry and retelling him how much I regret those choices I made once again. Since our relationship has been successful and progressive after my unfaithfulness, should I now be worried that he has given our situation more thought? Or is he just taking time to calm down and let go of the emotions I rehashed? I also wonder can our relationship ever be a good one, as if I had never cheated on him? What should we do? Should I just wait and let him call me back? Your answers and suggestions are much needed! Edited July 26, 2010 by vanillabean grammar issues
lostsunsets Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I also wonder can our relationship ever be a good as if I had never cheated? What should I do? Just wait and let him call me back? Your answers and suggestions are much needed! No. The ghost of the OM will always be there. Sometimes your BF will see him, sometimes he won't. It doesn't sound like he beats you up over it. Since you are the one who brought it up, give him a couple of more days to call if he doesn't call you, then call him. You gave the man open heart surgery with a broken bottle. You have to expect that the scar will always be there. That doesn't mean he won't love you. But sometimes he will take off his shirt without even thinking about it and you will see the scar. And think "I can't believe I did that to him". That is your cross to bear. If you can't take it, that's up to you. Let his response guide you, if you love him.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I cheated on my current boy 2 years ago in an intense love triangle involving me, my boyfriend, and another guy. My boyfriend and I got together soon after all my secrets and lies were revealed. Ever since, my boyfriend and I have continued our exclusive relationship happily for almost 2 years now. Clearly your happy... but it doesn't sound like he is happy. That gives me the impression that your not a quality GF, which is why he may be having second thoughts. The perfect example is that it's been 2 days and your still on your butt waiting for him to call you. Have you even tried to reach out to him? Also... the tone of your writing makes me feel your near apathetic.... and very self centered. Look, a relationship can heal from cheating and sometimes even be better than it was before, but it requires the former cheat to put in the work. Had you been better this conversation would have occurred years ago instead of now... and you two would be on the path to healing.
Mimolicious Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Cant change the past. One way or another, this will come up periodically. One thing that raises my eyebrow is that if 2 yrs your BF never sweated the issues, why now? He perhaps may be using this as an excuse to break up with you.
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