brainygirl Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 he's eleven, will be 12 in october. He is so good for my dad and his dad and almost any other adult. I ask him to do something and he is sullen, slow to do it, complains and makes himself unpleasant so he can get out of it. He screams at his two little brothers when he's asked to play with them or take them to the park and makes them cry so that I will put them down for a nap and he can play without them. I don't know if I can take this attitude anymore. When he was little I didn't let people talk mean to him, and how he's being mean to his baby brothers who only want to love him and play with him. He is obnoxious and rude to me in public and argues and yells at me and demands that I buy him expensive toys and games in private. I'm seriously considering sending him to live with my dad if he doesn't straighten up.
LuckyCharm Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 could it be that his behavior might be related to the fact that he's jealous of his baby brothers and feels they're taking his time away from you. I say that because some times when kids feel like something has been taken away from them (perhaps not spending enough time with you as he used to)they tend to demand attention in other ways that to us seem like they're misbehaving on purpose. I'm wondering how much one on one time does he spends with you? don't get me wrong I'm not at all trying to say you don't give him attention or anything like that I'm just trying to understand why he might be acting the way he does. Also has there been any unusual changes at home or school that might have had some effect on him?
Allisha Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 he's eleven, will be 12 in october. He is so good for my dad and his dad and almost any other adult. I ask him to do something and he is sullen, slow to do it, complains and makes himself unpleasant so he can get out of it. He screams at his two little brothers when he's asked to play with them or take them to the park and makes them cry so that I will put them down for a nap and he can play without them. I don't know if I can take this attitude anymore. When he was little I didn't let people talk mean to him, and how he's being mean to his baby brothers who only want to love him and play with him. He is obnoxious and rude to me in public and argues and yells at me and demands that I buy him expensive toys and games in private. I'm seriously considering sending him to live with my dad if he doesn't straighten up. I'm sorry for this, as you might not like part of what I'm about to say. Sending JUST him away will cause you so many problems in the future. He will feel singled out when he's older, less important to you, etc. I agree with the above poster. Maybe he's jealous of the attention the younger ones get? Also, he could be starting to hit puberty. Moodswings, etc are common. Don't let him get out of doing anything you ask him. By allowing him to get his own way you're showing him you don't mean business. Don't give up (even though he makes you crazy!). Persistance is key. Now for the harsh bit. He is your son; you brought him into this world; he is YOUR responsibility. End of story. You can't just send one of your kids away just because you can't put up with him.
KikiW Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 Here's what I suggest... Sit down with him and tell him you have been very disturbed by his recent behavior and feel it's time to set some boundaries. Give him a list of "family rules" (if your other children are old enough to understand, perhaps do this more in a general family meeting manner than one on one)... Backtalk, attitude, screaming at siblings, arguments about doing things like chores, whining - whatever it is should not be tolerated, and tell him the consequences of breaking those rules. Consequences should be things like being grounded and having luxuries taken away. Cell phones, video games, computer time, TV time... whatever is important to HIM should be removed for a period of time. And if he loses all those items and has nothing to do but sit in his room and sulk, so be it. Tell him to pick up a book and read or play solitaire with a deck of cards. But above all you MUST be consistent. Don't let him get away with it once and then come down hard the next time. Kids are intelligent, and will keep pushing their boundaries. You need to tell them where those boundaries are and give fair discipline for breaking past them.
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