Argentina Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I am so close to walking away because I just don't know what to do anymore. My husband of 10 years has been suffering from anxiety for years. He has been abusive towards me and we are now separated. he admits his abusive behaviour and seeking treatment for this. He has been living in a room at our local pub for the past 3 months. he is still involved with our children and spends time with them 3-4 days a week (usually after school when I am working). We have been trying to work through all the problems. He is currently on medication for his anxiety but his depression has hit rock bottom and he will not take control of this. 3 weeks ago he became suicidal and I took him to hospital where he was assessed by a psychiatrist. he was released after 10 hours and advised he needed further psychiatric assessment and medication for depression. He has not returned to his doctor. he has periods throughout the day where he can be quite upbeat for a couple of hours, but he quickly lapses back into depression. He is constantly tired, sleeps excessively, has missed work, drinks alcohol in the evenings, wanders aimlessly around the streets very late at night (to clear his head), is unreliable, blames me and the kids for his problems, forgets events that happened recently. I regularly hear comments from him like "I feel dead inside" "There is nothing to look forward to" "I am old" (he is 44 !) "I don't know where I belong" I have told him he needs to go back to his doctor. He tells me that all he needs is 110% support from me. I am giving as much support as humanly possible whilst trying to also maintain boundaries for acceptable behaviour. eg: he cannot come to the house and talk about suicide in front of the children or blame us for everything. I have spoken to his doctor and written a letter to his psychologist about his mental state. The police have been involved in welfare checks on him. My husband has no family other than me and our children in this country and he has not made any close friends in the 10 years that he has been here. I feel there is so much pressure on me to provide sole support for him. I am fearful of walking away in case he kills himself. I don't believe he is manipulating me into feeling that way. I honestly believe he is severely depressed. The above behaviour is totally out of character. And now he is starting to dress in clothes that really should be for much younger guys. Mid-life crisis?
White Knight Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I am 41 and have been on medication for at least 18 years. He needs to get back to the doctor and get on something that has an affect. Unfortunately it is not instantaneous. He may need to try different types before he finds the one that works. It is still a struggle for me to this day, but I don't feel like killing myself everyday like I used to. Best of luck.
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