Spark1111 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 A friend of mine separated from her spouse two years ago. It is not legal yet (they can't afford it) but both are now comfortable that the marriage is over. They are both on dating sites, and she has a very active dating life. But not him. He claims he cannot get a woman to date him because his status is "separated." Imagine that? I also have single friends on dating sites. They too will not date a separated man: too much baggage, too much time invested, too much potential drama if he reconciles with the xW. Opinions? If separated is too potentially dramatic and volatile for most women.....married? A married man??? A married woman???
Hazyhead Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 A friend of mine separated from her spouse two years ago. It is not legal yet (they can't afford it) but both are now comfortable that the marriage is over. They are both on dating sites, and she has a very active dating life. But not him. He claims he cannot get a woman to date him because his status is "separated." Imagine that? I also have single friends on dating sites. They too will not date a separated man: too much baggage, too much time invested, too much potential drama if he reconciles with the xW. Opinions? If separated is too potentially dramatic and volatile for most women.....married? A married man??? A married woman??? This fits into the stereotype of the difference between gender attitudes towards 'dating'. Do you think women look for more from the off, yet men are perhaps happy with the 'separated' status as they may think that it might not be something serious? Myself, I would not date a separated man from a dating site. I can imagine that if I was on a dating site I would be actively looking for a relationship and wouldn't want to waste time with someone who might not be the same. IF I knew him and had a little understanding of how 'separated' he was, then maybe. But from the internet? No way. Not worth the risk. Poor guy!
jwi71 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 A friend of mine separated from her spouse two years ago. It is not legal yet (they can't afford it) but both are now comfortable that the marriage is over. They are both on dating sites, and she has a very active dating life. But not him. He claims he cannot get a woman to date him because his status is "separated." Imagine that? I also have single friends on dating sites. They too will not date a separated man: too much baggage, too much time invested, too much potential drama if he reconciles with the xW. Opinions? If separated is too potentially dramatic and volatile for most women.....married? A married man??? A married woman??? I refuse to date a separated woman. Get D first, have a few flings, have a rebound R, take time off then come back. Now we can date. Basically, there is that "finalized D" bump of sadness and regret. And the first R inevitably is compared to the xH. No thanks. I would prefer to see 2 years post D. Yes, I just picked that number out of thin air. In fact, my current GF fits that exact pattern. Got D, had a fling, had a rebound R and is now with me. That I'm comfortable with.
califnan Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Could be diff reasons.. Yes, women can be more choosey .. last I heard there are more men than women on the sights.. Women can be and are more definite regarding relationship status.. Where many men are on there for one reason, and will take anything that moves.. I have noticed on there that younger men are even after the cougars .. Could it be the economy .. ha
Gfkr2 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 (edited) I would have thought a seperated man and woman a good combination if only for the emotional support of going through a difficult period together. Perhaps, this dilemma is primarily associated with online dating because you can always 'charm the pants off" a woman if you meet her in person regardless of your seperation status. Edited July 26, 2010 by Gfkr2
txsilkysmoothe Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I don't date separated men, either. I always wonder why are they "separated" and not divorced. In my state, if it's an amicable divorce, they can file without attorney's and the cost is minimal. So the fact that a man hasn't done that suggests either he isn't smart enough to figure it out, he is too lazy to figure it out and therefore not that interested in divorcing, or there is a whole lot of fighting going on. These are all good reasons to not date a man. (or woman)
Summer Breeze Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I date separated men. Why not. I'm neither going to marry nor look to marry every man I date so why not meet someone and enjoy some time with them? A trick I have is ask them for their home number as soon as phone numbers are mentioned. If they don't give it then there's a reason and that's probably a W. I've met some lovely separated men and I wouldn't give up the experiences for anything in the world. Several of them are good friends and one I ended up dating again and we were together for a year. He was quite a bit younger than me so the desire for kids came in to play. I wanted them and he didn't. Just kidding!
lolapalooza Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I date separated men. Why not. Aren't you an OW? OP- I'm not sure this is gender specific. I think it has more to do with the social circles one runs in. JMHO.
michelangelo Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 If I were a bettin man I'd put my money on the idea that his separated status has nothing to do with him striking out with women. When he gets his divorce the same exact thing will be happening. I'm not just being harsh. There is something about him that is offputting to women. He needs to find out what that is and change it. Otherwise? No poontang for him.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Spark: I think you should post this in "Dating." Most people here in "infidelity" are married and some haven't dated in decades. I think you'd get better responses from people who are actually in the dating scene. GEL
Summer Breeze Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Aren't you an OW? OP- I'm not sure this is gender specific. I think it has more to do with the social circles one runs in. JMHO. I'm many things Love. One things I am is a born again non OW. Of course this begs the question-what's the relevance? I'm not supposed to date if I'm an OW? My moral compass is ignoring magnetic north and drawing me south so I'm not worthy of dating? I'm such an emotional basketcase and so lost in an affair I can't have dinner with an attractive man and have some companionship or possibly find a LTR?? Go poke your stick elsewhere.
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