5 Sexist things expected of men

[Engadget]

Good article, especially for those on this site who think women are the only ones who have to conform to societal expectations.

 

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/147626/5_stupid,_unfair_and_sexist_things_expected_of_men/?page=1

[jamesum]

Cultures create societal expectations. Nothing new. Maybe you can change them, but new ones will simply emerge.

[SassyKitten]

The thing on here that I can see very clearly is for thousands of years, men have had to have the sole job of protecting their family and providing for them. This left the men overworked, stressed-out, and aggressive, while it left women never having to grow up. Unfortunately society today still seems to be suffering from a hangover from this.

 

Men still often feel like they have to be unemotional unless they're showing aggression, and seem to care more about what kind of sex the woman can give and not so much about who she is on the inside. Women often seem to care about how much a man can provide for them, feeling like it's not their job to assist significantly with staying afloat financially, and seem to care more about how much a man can provide than who he is on the inside.

 

Of course there are exceptions to the rule that go both ways.

[linwood]

Well written and oh so true.

[Art_Critic]

I didn't particularly like the article..

It was written with a sexist slant in itself..

 

The author is a gay female with an obvious old, outdated or odd twist to what men have to deal with today, good luck with that...

[linwood]

I didn't particularly like the article..

It was written with a sexist slant in itself..

 

What did you find sexist about the article?

 

The author is a gay female with an obvious old, outdated or odd twist to what men have to deal with today, good luck with that...

 

The things she describes are changing but they do still happen.

 

I can recite numerous instances in my own life that supports what she`s written as truth.

Edited July 26, 2010 by linwood

[jamesum]

The thing on here that I can see very clearly is for thousands of years, men have had to have the sole job of protecting their family and providing for them. This left the men overworked, stressed-out, and aggressive, while it left women never having to grow up. Unfortunately society today still seems to be suffering from a hangover from this.

 

Men still often feel like they have to be unemotional unless they're showing aggression, and seem to care more about what kind of sex the woman can give and not so much about who she is on the inside. Women often seem to care about how much a man can provide for them, feeling like it's not their job to assist significantly with staying afloat financially, and seem to care more about how much a man can provide than who he is on the inside.

 

Of course there are exceptions to the rule that go both ways.

50,000 year old traditions wont change completely in mere 30 years. Although in Scandinavia gender equality has changed at a much faster rate than anywhere else in the world.

[Woggle]

I respect her concern and I agree that feminism can help itself by getting men on board but there is one problem. Most feminists couldn't care less if a man lives or dies and in many cases delight in our pain so while she has good intentions her feminist sisters just don't give a damn and I will return the favor.

[SassyKitten]

Unfortunately old habits don't die easily, but the reality is that we live in a world that is so expensive that both incomes are often needed, and the generations that supported inequality haven't entirely dies out yet so have been able to exert their influence. In places such as Scandinavia, the generations that supported inequality have more or less died out.

 

It's a bit of a generalisation to say that feminists couldn't give a damn whether a man lives or dies. However, as for a man who subscribes to the old way of thinking and views and treats women as second class, then unfortunately that can be said.

[deux ex machina]

Good article, especially for those on this site who think women are the only ones who have to conform to societal expectations.

 

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/147626/5_stupid,_unfair_and_sexist_things_expected_of_men/?page=1

 

I have to agree with the author of the article about how many men are discouraged from expressing emotion, beyond certain narrow bounds. They can't show fear, that they've been hurt - a lot of boys are still taught that, "Boys don't cry."

 

I think it's better than it was in the past, but we have a way to go. Good read, thanks.

[Woggle]

I have to agree with the author of the article about how many men are discouraged from expressing emotion, beyond certain narrow bounds. They can't show fear, that they've been hurt - a lot of boys are still taught that, "Boys don't cry."

 

I think it's better than it was in the past, but we have a way to go. Good read, thanks.

 

Showing these emotions is pretty much an attraction killer when it comes to women.

[Phateless]

Didn't read the whole article, but the author pretty much nailed it. It's frustrating and causes a lot of anxiety/insecurity over how to "play" the situation.

[threebyfate]

You can live your life being a victim of societal expectations or you can live your life the way you want.

 

But she took every point to a ridiculous extreme. Case in point, emotions. No, it's not okay for a man to be whiny assed 5 year old. It's also not okay for a woman to be this way, either.

[alphamale]

I didn't particularly like the article..

It was written with a sexist slant in itself..

 

The author is a gay female with an obvious old, outdated or odd twist to what men have to deal with today, good luck with that...

indeed A_C

[kdark]

You can live your life being a victim of societal expectations or you can live your life the way you want.

 

But she took every point to a ridiculous extreme. Case in point, emotions. No, it's not okay for a man to be whiny assed 5 year old. It's also not okay for a woman to be this way, either.

 

Haha, the irony in your post is hilarious.

 

Telling men to "suck it up and be a man" when they are complaining about always having to "suck it up and be a man".

[threebyfate]

Haha, the irony in your post is hilarious.

 

Telling men to "suck it up and be a man" when they are complaining about always having to "suck it up and be a man".

No irony. It's deliberate. Suck it up as an adult or were you blinded to the reference to women too?

[kdark]

No irony. It's deliberate. Suck it up as an adult or were you blinded to the reference to women too?

 

No I wasn't blinded. I ignored it because it doesn't apply. In my book when a male is afraid to cry when his father dies from complications from surgery in front of him because he is afraid of what others might think, something is wrong.

 

There is a big difference between that and being a whiney 5 year old.

[Woggle]

During the last 6 months of my marriage I was reminded on a regular basis how much of a wimp I was because I cried at the funeral of a friend who was murdered. Even mourning a friend who was like a brother to me makes me less of a man in some women's eyes.

[kdark]

During the last 6 months of my marriage I was reminded on a regular basis how much of a wimp I was because I cried at the funeral of a friend who was murdered. Even mourning a friend who was like a brother to me makes me less of a man in some women's eyes.

 

I get crap all the time because I cried at Schindler's List. From my gay brother's partner. That was three years ago.

 

It never ends as a guy. Gotta always be on your toes...

[jamesum]

Unfortunately old habits don't die easily, but the reality is that we live in a world that is so expensive that both incomes are often needed,

Well, since the advent of agriculture, one of the reasons that men got married in the first place was so he could have someone who could help him working his field and make children with who would also add even more hands.

 

and the generations that supported inequality haven't entirely dies out yet so have been able to exert their influence. In places such as Scandinavia, the generations that supported inequality have more or less died out.

Sweden became the way they are today because in the 70s they had a radical feminist government. They kinda forced Swedish society to tear down the gender wall. For example they changed 'maternity leave' into 'paternity leave' and held back subsidy for fathers who refused to take 'daddy leave'.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/10/world/europe/10iht-sweden.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

[threebyfate]

No I wasn't blinded. I ignored it because it doesn't apply. In my book when a male is afraid to cry when his father dies from complications from surgery in front of him because he is afraid of what others might think, something is wrong.

 

There is a big difference between that and being a whiney 5 year old.

That's the extremism perspective that I found distasteful within her article. I don't know any men who wouldn't cry at their father's death, unless they hated each other.

 

The entire article paints an exaggerated, ridiculous and extremist view of what men truly face today. It would be no different than a gay man writing an article about how women are all getting cosmetic and plastic surgery, due to societal pressures. Sure, there are women who do this but most are sane enough to realize that it's not going to fix their internal issues.

[kdark]

That's the extremism perspective that I found distasteful within her article. I don't know any men who wouldn't cry at their father's death, unless they hated each other.

 

You may be right about most men crying at their fathers funerals, but a lot of those same men will probably get sh*t for it later on down the road too. Or at the very least, feel like they will get sh*t for doing it.

 

The entire article paints an exaggerated, ridiculous and extremist view of what men truly face today. It would be no different than a gay man writing an article about how women are all getting cosmetic and plastic surgery, due to societal pressures. Sure, there are women who do this but most are sane enough to realize that it's not going to fix their internal issues.

 

The article may be a little over the top in it's wording, but the five points she brings up all have merit. It may not be as big a deal as she makes it, but men have to deal with these 5 problems more than women.

[sally4sara]

I see who chimed in and what they had to say about the link making it pointless to even look at it myself. There is no right way for all.

 

 

I'm growing weary. *sigh*

[Phateless]

That's the extremism perspective that I found distasteful within her article. I don't know any men who wouldn't cry at their father's death, unless they hated each other.

 

The entire article paints an exaggerated, ridiculous and extremist view of what men truly face today. It would be no different than a gay man writing an article about how women are all getting cosmetic and plastic surgery, due to societal pressures. Sure, there are women who do this but most are sane enough to realize that it's not going to fix their internal issues.

 

With all due respect, TBF, I don't think you really know what it's like to be a man, since you aren't one. I was born and raised in Berkeley, one of the most liberal places on the planet, yet I still feel the sting of this every day.

[threebyfate]

You may be right about most men crying at their fathers funerals, but a lot of those same men will probably get sh*t for it later on down the road too. Or at the very least, feel like they will get sh*t for doing it.

Straight up, your perspective is badly skewed about society if you honestly believe the above highlighted phrases.

The article may be a little over the top in it's wording, but the five points she brings up all have merit. It may not be as big a deal as she makes it, but men have to deal with these 5 problems more than women.

Yup, it's over-the-top.

 

With all due respect, TBF, I don't think you really know what it's like to be a man, since you aren't one. I was born and raised in Berkeley, one of the most liberal places on the planet, yet I still feel the sting of this every day.

I sent this to six men this morning, where four have not yet responded. If they do respond, I'll add their responses.

 

Here are the two responses:

 

1. Is this a joke?

2. An appeal to emotion, just like a woman. (tongue-in-cheek from H., you have to understand his sense of humour.)