Trapped in love.

[zoezeroseven]

I posted this a a thread in another discussion and I am now posting it again to seek further advice. -Thanks.

 

not getting everything you need Post: 134 | Quote:

 

I'm 22 going on 23 and I've been with the same guy since I was 17. We've lived together the whole time. I love him very deeply and the only problem with the relationship is that I'm not getting everything that I need. I need someone who will actually leave the house, do something, and, most importantly, talk to me. He just withdrawals which I have been addressing for years. This is the only argument (if that's what you call it when only one person talks) that we've ever had. At least it doesn't go like this anymore: "We need to talk about...." Him: "ZZZZZ"!!!

 

I feel that I need to be free. I realize that that statement needs to end it all. I don't think that it is fair to string my bf along while I learn to be alone by saying that I need space. I'm terrified to be alone, but he will never be able to give me what I need and I'm sick of asking for an attempt at least. I just have to face my fear of leaving the only person I may ever find who will ever love me in order to hope that I will find someone who is better for me someday.

 

The problem is that I told him all of this and he won't let me go. He says he needs time (with me) which seems like a futile attempt to repair something he could never fix. This is also making it incredibly difficult for me. I know I'm killing him inside as well as myself. I just wish I knew (but I have no experience) that I'm not asking for too much from a relationship.

[silk_sword]

i know exactly how u feel. i just went through this last month. i had been with ex for about five years. i knew awhile ago that it wasn't working and i tried to just stick around. i didn't want to hurt him. i felt like i would destroy him. soon when we got in fights, i was always trying to run from the relationship by breaking up. i was hoping to find my way out through our fights. i began to see that he wouldn't let me go. i felt worse, because i felt like i was trapped and that i couldn't leave. well to make a long story short, i left. i sometimes think about it. i feel like wow i am no longer with him. that five year relationship is gone, over, no more. the thought of being alone strikes me at times. but, then i realize that i am young (as u r). see i learned that in the long run, staying with him would cause many problems. people can't force themselves to be in love with another. their hearts have to be in the right place. mine wasn't and obviously yours isn't. u need to get out now before it hurts u or him anymore. i know u r afraid. i was too. but, i knew inside that it was the right thing. i still think about it, because it was so short a time ago. but, i am healing. i also know he is too. we will both go on and find other people. we will both be happy. so i suggest that u take the route that u know u'r heart desires to follow. this way u can begin to live your life and u can let him free to live his. jump! the ground isn't so far down after all and u will find that the fall is only temporary. i wish u the best of luck. it will all be ok. if u ever need to talk, PM me. luvz and strength!