Whats the next step?

[tpopcaz]

Ok so heres some background on my situation. A little over three years ago I met a girl through a friend. She had been in a three year relationship that had ended about 3 months before, and before I met her she had just finished I guess "talking to someone else". So we talked for a couple months and dated. We had our little fights and like breakups for a day and would get back together. Well a month after being together for a little over two years we really broke up. She soon after started talking to guy she met after a month. I went through hell because they dated for five months and I always loved her. I was always there for her even with there relationship problems. Well after five months of hearing she couldn't go through fighting with me ever again, I get a text saying she made a big mistake and they had broken up and wanted to work with things between us. So we worked on things got back together and broke up again just a month ago. I heard the same things that I need to change and she still loves me and I'm her real first love and she care about me she just cant go through it again. Well the first time we broke up I would text her all the time and we would just mostly fight. This time I gave her a week and we were actually getting along we hung out then we started argueing. Well its like a repeat a month after she telling me the same stuff and shes been hanging out with another guy. I caught myself texting her everyday and argueing so I looked for advice. Today would of been three years we were dating so I took some advice and wrote a letter saying I understand why we are in this situation, I know I did things wrong that I blamed on you and I understand your scared to be hurt. She wrote back that she was sorry for argueing, but she cannot go throuh this again no matter how much she loves me and how much she cares. I thought I would take that really bad, but actually I was happy inside because I admitted I was wrong probably for the first time, and she said she would like to still be friends. I honestly know for a fact that I love this girl with all my heart and shes like the other half of me. So I have questions on what to do next.

 

Alot of people say they think that she gets hurt to the point where she goes with the next guy that gives her attention and talks to me knowing I still want her incase it doesnt work out. So alot of people told me after I let her know I understand that why we arent together and respect her feelings,to dissapear for a while even if she text me for atleast one or two weeks. I've seen this work for one of my friends where the girl was not interested and just messed with his head untill he finally stoped talking and she wanted him. Could this work in my situation? If that is her thought is it possible that doing this will let her see that I'm not going to stop my life and wait for her to be with me when its a good time for her? I'm not sure what to do because I really do love this girl and when things are good they are great. The only reason I'm thinking of no contact for a little is because what I'm thinking she might miss me a little, but not talking to her might make her realise I'm not waiting around crying over her and could that make her miss me more?

[DustySaltus]

The point of NC is to heal yourself, not to get your ex back. She sounds like a serial monogamist, meaning that she cannot be by herself for long periods of time. She broke up with a guy after 5 months and had a gap where she disn't have anyone, so she reached out to you to fill that gap. She reached out to you to fulfill her needs, which is quite selfish. It also seems that instead of working out her issues, she would just rather move onto a new relationship. Until she realizes that this pattern is not a successful way towards building a long-lasting relationship, there's nothing you can do. She has to figure this out on her own.