LoveTruthChaos Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Well, my happiness lasted about 3 days and now I'm hit with the crap again. There are new photos of him on FB from kids that we both taught, and I have not looked at them (nor will I), but they are there. I guess that was enough to set me off - just being reminded of his existence again. I was having a good old time pretending he didn't exist. I've had a really tough 24 hours. I'm exhausted from moving boxes into storage, exhausted from work, thinking about one of my camp kids who died last week, missing my friends...and reaching the sudden realisation that no matter how much I would like to think that my ex sometimes feels fondly about me and wonders about me - that the truth is, he doesn't. I think everything just hit me like a ton of bricks
DenverBachelor Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Don't feel too bad. I just found out on the phone that one of my best friends back home was diagnosed with Isaac's Syndrome and they're trying to rule out Lou Gehrig's disease. So on the big scheme of things, relationship issues are the least of my worries. My friend could die.
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I think everything just hit me like a ton of bricks That you both taught? I know it's hard. The worst is when things are going rough, life seems to pile things up to make it nearly impossible to get through. I've had a rough few days myself. Remember that exercise works wonders, even if it's just a nice stroll through the park. Eating right does too. I'm a camp counselor as well, so I can only imagine how painful it must be losing a child.
This Hurts Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 At least you're not alone. We're around the same page; I've been experiencing what you described recently. I'll be okay for a few days and then when I'm reminded of all this—her existence (as you mentioned), the loss, the breakup in general—I come down again. Sometimes it lasts a couple of days, other times it doesn't even last an hour, but it's still a disappointment. To be doing really well, and to feel good enough with your life and maybe even happy for a few days and then to go back to what feels like day 1 (okay, maybe not that bad ) is very discouraging, at least to me. It makes me feel like the cycle's never going to end. But remember when we thought the feelings from that first month were never going to end? Well, they did. And we're way further than we ever felt possible. So just keep reminding yourself to just keep going. It will get better, and someday hopefully soon, these people will be insignificant to us and we will laugh at these desperate posts we're writing about them.
Author LoveTruthChaos Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 So, I originally came back to my thread to mope a little more. I'm still exhausted, and still haven't caught up with friends, so I'm feeling a bit crap still. But I've been reading some threads on here and feeling a considerably better. When 2010 started, I never thought this would be single handedly the best and worst year to date. I made no resolutions or lists of things to acheive, and yet I had a bunch of things I wanted to do. Without going into the finer details (it's all rather complicated), I started out 2010 happily - with my man (in an LDR), future plans to volunteer in South Africa, visit Europe/Egypt/Morocco, buy a house, and get work as a Fashion Photographer. I PROMISED my Mum (who I live with), that I wouldn't start ANY of my future plans until we had moved house. This is something that HAS to be done, and has been hanging over our heads for years. Since the man left, I've been thrown into chaos. I had plans to visit him in America (his home) in November - that went down the toilet. Not that he ever made any attempt to come see me in Australia (the 'flight was too long', apparently). But when he left, it also kickstarted me into gear. My life is NOT determined by other people. So, I had no plans to fly over there anymore. You know what that meant? Fulfilling that promise I'd made to my Mum - we're moving house after 18 years! We started the process last week, and we hope to be sold by Oct/Nov. This means, that at a time when I would have paused my future plans in order to see him (someone that couldn't be bothered seeing me), that I'm making sure that the 'moving house' part is happening. And after that happens, the rest of my amazing life plans will follow. When 2010 started, I never thought my life was going to be turned upside down. And I'm so glad it did - because I'm terrifically thrilled with the great direction that it's going! I guess this was the kick in the azz I needed! Thanks for the rant
This Hurts Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I'm so happy for you, LTC! It's good to hear you're doing somewhat better. I love it when you know you have a bright future ahead of you, and it distracts you from the loss. I felt like that a while ago, but the past few days have been sh*tty for me, including this one (even though I woke up about half an hour ago), since I woke up from a dream about her. It's starting off unpleasantly, but hopefully it'll get better.
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