pittguy578 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Not sure what to do here. I was in a relationship last year-only lasted 8 months, but things moved quickly. We ended up moving in together, etc. Needless to say she had a problem with prescription drugs/alcohol. I didn't know that initially, but then when I found out, she said she was going to get help, etc. I began to catch her lying about being "out of it". I had never been lied to before. Then she would apologize and things would get better-then something else would happen. I finally just upped and moved out in the middle of the night. Some crazy things happened between us including crazy abusive fights, etc. (she hit/bit me) The lies are the things that hurt me the most, and I still cannot believe I stayed in that relationship as long as I did. Things ended Christmas of last year. I still have no desire to date. I am not sure what to do to get over this hump. I just do not want to deal with the stress of a relationship-the thought of the previous one still pains me. I am not sure what to do to move forward on this.. Any assistance would be appreciated..
GrayClouds Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 You should find a professional to work with. Understand while a break-up is always hard trying to sort out the baggage left behind a relationship like this takes a good deal of time to sort out. So be kind to yourself, there is not hurry to "date" again when you ready it will happen.
USMCHokie Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 You should find a professional to work with. Understand while a break-up is always hard trying to sort out the baggage left behind a relationship like this takes a good deal of time to sort out. So be kind to yourself, there is not hurry to "date" again when you ready it will happen. +1. We all move at our own pace...I know the feeling all too well...my breakup from my only relationship was a year ago...and I'm still debating whether I should be dating now...I'm seeing someone, but it's not official and I'm not sure I should continue dating her...it's a combination of still thinking about my ex as well as refusing to attach emotionally... I know what you mean by the hump...it feels like this is the way you're going to be for the rest of your life...but rest assured that over time you will be able to date, feel, and love again...
Wings Of Love Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I know the feeling. It's been almost 18 months since my relationship broke down, and although he's moved on and has had four girlfriends in that time, I still haven't even found myself attracted to anyone. It almost feels as though I'm betraying my ex by looking at other men, and I'm certainly not ready to put myself back out there and risk getting hurt all over again. All I can say is, don't rush. We're all different and it will happen when you're ready. It's only been a few months since Christmas, that's not a long time at all. And there's no rush. Take your time, let yourself heal first.
CaliGuy Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 All I can say is that you will get better over time. Making the adjustment after a breakup is hard initially then it gets easier. I would suggest spending time with friends, hobbies, studying/reading, etc. You don't NEED someone in your life, you should want them but not need them. I have a couple links in my signature. Those are good reading my friend. One other thing, I don't suggest just leaving in the middle of the night. Just TELL her you're out of there and don't fall for tricks to make you stay. When your mind is made up to leave, LEAVE and hold your head up high. You did your best, but not every relationship is meant to work out forever.
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