sah1203 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 so..heres the situation :T ex and i really hit it off from the beginning but we actually met a month after a previous ex and i ended it for good. he chased and pressured me to be in a relationship from the very beginning and i was hesitant bc i was still wounded from the previous relationship even though it was over for 7 months but NC kicked in a month prior. within time, i realized i looked forward to speaking and hanging out with him all the time and began a relationship with him. we fell for each other FAST in such a short period and had our share of equally passionate and intense arguments/fights. 4 months into it, he breaks up with me after another stupid argument and says he feels we're not meant for each other bc we fight too much and he feels im not over my ex. truthfully, i wasn't sure either and constantly compared the relationships in my head and tested him to see if his intentions were genuine bc he was SO into me when he only knew me for 4 months and i was so hurt from the last ex. of course, i act like a baby right away and cling onto him like my life depends on it. nothing. he puts his foot down and says were better off as friends. i start NC bc im so hurt by his coldness and need time off. a week and couple of days later, i go to him unannounced and give him a letter i had written apologizing for not trusting him. no response form the letter. a week later, i reach out to my previous ex to see what's going on in my head/heart and we have a great talk as friends and i feel NOTHING..like our memories fade in an instant and i realize that i was holding onto the relationship for no freakin reason. i feel relieved and mistakingly call my ex and hes pissed off bc his friend had told him that he found me on an online dating site (found out it was a "friend" who put me on there bc she felt i needed a "push" bc im very shy and deserve better). i was shocked and try to tell him he should know it isnt me (she did it before and he knew about it) but convo does not end well. a week later, i email him apologizing for my childish behavior and i will respect his decision but hope we can be friends. no answer. 3 weeks go by NC, and i text him to see how he's doing. surprisingly, he responds and also asks how im doing. i dont respond bc i dont want him to feel suffocated again. another week goes by, and my guy friend tells me that if i really love him, i should fight for it and do whatever i want bc i won't have regrets if i believe in it and who cares what he thinks. so i go to his house and call him and he surprisingly answers. he comes out and i actually planned a cute funny story about how we met and broke up on posterboard (love actualy scene). i apologize again and ask him out on a date. he's flattered by my surprise but says he's not ready. he says i can call him whenever for coffee and we can catch up once in a while..i try to convince him to come out and he finally says ok this weekend. day comes and no details of whats going on so i text him..he says hes with the family and cant come out. i respond asking if later at night bc i had plans too and he responds that forget it altogether bc he can't do this and says we caught up that night and respect that he wants to just be. and also that i dont need to do surprises like that for him since its over. i respond that im aware that its over but i was trying to break the awkward tension by being funny and that i will never apologize for showing someone how much i care. no response. goddd i miss him so much and i feel so sorry for how i didn't trust him bc he treated me so well and tried to take care of me throughout my weak moments. we were only together for 4 months so i feel it should be easier compared to my previous relatiopnship which i was in for 2.5 years but i was never tempted to break NC for that one! i just want a chance to do it all over bc i dont have these doubts in my head anymore and i want to just be happy with him. i know i pushed him away for good..guys have asked me out but i declined bc i dont want anyone else but my ex is it hopeless now?
mmemories Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 From personal experience, I had pushed really hard to be with my ex, pushed for a month and tried my best to be a perfect girlfriend. And it hurts because I really tried with all my heart. But it just turned out to be a series of breakups and getting back together for a month. If the guy isn't ready to be back together with you again, then give him space. If not, you will damage your chances of being back together even more. You really can't push a person to want to be with you.
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