unlove Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Hi I am sure this topic has been done hundreds of times but i need to speak to someone else who is going through or has gone through what i am going through ! Last sunday my husband told me he doesnt love me anymore and hasn't for a while quite aslap inthe face after you have been out to do the weekly shop and take the dog for a walk when he is on a rare outing to the pub with a mate suposedly discussing going back to work. To cut a long story short he became very ill back in 2007 and after a long spell in hospital has been in a wheel chair ever since and unemployed ! He says its because he thought i no longer loved him so he got his head round it and decided he didnt love me either, the truth is i have lived my life for him, worked to pay 2 mortgages and for all the household bills, I only ever think of him never myself even when i am not with him i am ringing him to see how he is doing, my life revolved around making him happy, it hasn't been easy and i am emotionally and physically drained ! Since last week i have stayed away with my parents been to the doctors and been offsick. I can't eat and can't sleep i can't function i thought it wouldbe clearer when i came back i thought it would somehow be easier but it isn't, after 3 days of begging he has agreed to go to relate with an open mind but i can't believe that he will from the things he says and the way he acts. I feel like an idoit for having to beg him to reconsider as his decission was based on his own thoughts and he never brought it up with me before i feel so degraded and low i just want to go away and nevercome back, but i am trapped we own 2 properties together and my job is in the city where i live , my parents live over and hour away and all of my friends are in couples and althought they have been wonderfully supportive they just don't understand and it makes me worse seeing them because there husbands are always texting and phoning them and they go off to them for a cuddle feeling sorry for me. all i want is a cuddle and my husband won't even do that becuse it doesn't feel right, i am sat in the same room as him typing this with tears running down my face and he is completely unmoved watching tv , I don't know what to do, i feel so trapped and miserable how do i even start to go one with my life ???
bananaboat11 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Reason is the fundamental control of our mind's limitations.
GrayClouds Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Hi I am sure this topic has been done hundreds of times but i need to speak to someone else who is going through or has gone through what i am going through ! Your not alone, and everything your feeling is natural. Something like this is tramtic and as a result your physical body goes into "the fight or flight" responce. It overwhelms the brain with chemicals making eating, thinking, sleeping almost impossible. He says its because he thought i no longer loved him so he got his head round it and decided he didnt love me either, That is a Bull Sh*t excuses that suggest he is a coward at best and a liar at worst. One if that was the case why not talk it out with you rather then a mate, second he is trying to blame you for the break-up so he does not look as bad. Sadly, I suspect there is more he is not telling you. So like he is both. I can't eat and can't sleep i can't function i thought it wouldbe clearer when i came back i thought it would somehow be easier but it isn't, after 3 days of begging he has agreed to go to relate with an open mind but i can't believe that he will from the things he says and the way he acts. At this point you need a third part to help, But likely it will not, and as hard as it is, you should think about how to care for yourself. All that effort you use to put towards him not put towards you. Start by finding a good lawyer. I don't know what to do, i feel so trapped and miserable how do i even start to go one with my life ??? Give yourself some time to grieve and feel bad. That is natural. Pick up a book or two to help, like: "Love Must be Tough" By Dobson - Ignore the religious this stuff if you like by overall information is very good)"Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Anderson - It will comfort and help you heal You may want to get some space from him to help you get to a better place emotionally, suggest he go live with a mate. When you are feeling a bit stronger read this link: So you want a second chance? . Sorry for your pain but you will get through this.
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