dexhunterz Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Ok i'll try to be to the point but it's an odd relationship lol. First of all I am 27 and she is 19. I have been unemployed due to injury since february therefore we no longer live together because I have to live with my mother for another month or so. We have been together for about 15 months. We are very similar personality-wise, very connected in the way we view the world, she is highly intelligent. Her parents dislike me because of age and religious views. They have succeeded in cause 2 break-ups, but she calls the next day crying and wants back together blah blah. Once they even sent her to vegas and I had to drive to get her 2 days later lmao. Anyways, thats an obvious strain on the relationship when she lives with them. She does this online role-playing stuff. Probably alot of sexual stuff. Alot of friends shes had for years, but never met. I have no problem with this(even though i am pretty jealous i will admit), it's not people she will ever meet, and it's her release from real life. However that being said, i do ask her if she's talked to them, and she always says no. She has had my phone since we moved back btw. So, about a week ago she failed to contact me for the first time in 15 months. Out of nowhere. Well i decided to check the phone records, and discovered she had been calling and texting these online guys since february, while lying to me about it the whole time. And i dont even care, but her lying is my where my confusion sets in. So i dig deeper (i know i know) and find that she tells these guys alot of straight up lies. I broke up with her, i beat her, i rape her, tons of off the wall crap. So i confront her the next day when she calls (the phone was dead and no chrager, while stuck at her dads place with no home phone), i meet up with her and confront her. She lies to me about it, and also lies to my face about actually having another phone her mom had gotten her about a month ago. Now, i have never suspected in any way she has cheated on me. Maybe in emails or im's lol, but not actual cheating. Why lie about a phone? Why even lie about something i dont care about? To add one more thing, no calls or texts were to anyone here in utah. None. So then, SHE decides to break it off with me.LOL. But she still wants to be friends. We have been texting. She tells me she loves me and cares about me. She even has literally said she wants nothing to change but the "relationship title". What does this even mean? Is she cheating on me? Does she just need some time to figure out what she wants? Is she just really immature? I also want to add that I am her first real relationship, and she has even admitted to me that i am the only person or "friend" that she feels even cares about her. Also, i want to say that as of right now, she is the only friend i even have here. So she obviously knows she is all i have as far as a social life even goes. Any advice or thoughts? Is this some game? Grrrr so confused. I just need some advice
The Paper Knight Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 she sounds like a bit of nutter, but if you like that sort of thing good luck to you. First off, is this a game? yes it is. How do you play? The first step is NC. Read all the NC guides and 'how to get her back' guides and follow these as strictly as possible. Then and if she wants to talk to you again, tell her that you agree to the breakup. She was a lying to you and doesnt deserve your trust, blah, blah, blah. Then go NC again and with any luck she will come crawling back to you. The rest is up to you.
spyyder Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 (edited) She wants the 'title' to change so that she doesn't have to be committed to you, and doesn't have to be faithful to you. She wants all the pros of being with you, but also wants to be able to do whatever she wants, and by that I mean she wants to do stuff with other guys. She's 19 and you say she is 'highly intelligent'?? No offence, but do you think this because your a tad dumb, or are you saying she's intelligent for her age? There is NO 19 year old that is highly intelligent, socially or academically (with a few exceptions). Her young age makes her very intolerant, ignorant and inconsiderate - we all know this as we were just like that when we were 19! First loves hardly ever work out as you wouldn't have enough experience to make the relationship work long term. You are being jealous with good reason, don't feel bad about that. The fact that she lies about the calls/text would make ANYONE wonder why she is lying and eventually lead to jealousy. Why lie, if you have no reason to? She's lied enough to break ALL trust. Do you really want to be in a relationship with 0% trust? Personally, I find it ok to mostly trust a gf.....but having no trust is a relationship killer. Break up with her, move on, and don't have anything to do with her EVER. DON'T be friends! Don't! She'll only use you, and her doing anything with other guys will send you to a mental institution. Her parents makes it hard to be with her, she lies to you way too much (even to your face), she challenges your cold hard evidence, she wants a 'title' change so she gets all the pros & you get the cons and she's lying to other guys about how horrible you are to her which one day might end up leaving you with a black eye. Seriously...do you really want to be anywhere near a girl who's trying to get other guys to hate you? Its also very likely that at some point, given enough frequency & time, she will actually BELIEVE the horrible lies she says about you to other guys. She will actually believe that you rape her, beat her, etc, after she says it enough times that she subconsciously carves it into her brain and believes it. Do you also want this? Do you want to one day open your door finding your gf and a dozen guys ready to kick your butt? Edited July 26, 2010 by spyyder
Author dexhunterz Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 @thepaperknight- Ya shes crazy i think haha @ spyyder- Thanks, i just needed to vent, and see if a neutral source was thinking the same as me. Obviously I am not going to try and be with her when i cant trust a single word that comes out of her mouth lol. And alot of what you said was exactly the way i thought of it. Why cant foresight be 20/20!
DustySaltus Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Why would you ever want to be with someone who says that you beat her? Do you understand how serious of an accusation that is? I would NEVER take a call from her again. Someone who cares about your would NEVER put you in this situation. There's nothing to discuss here. Don't walk away, run as fast as you can. Don't let a partner in a relationship define you. Focus on yourself, read the link in my siganture and begin the healing process. Any further contact with her will be a disaster.
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