worlybear Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 How do you cope with being lonely? My daughter's friends parents are all in couples so I've joined a local rotary group(meets once a week) and try to go out every dayeven if its only to the local shop. I take my daughter swimming and chat with other adults but if I'm absolutely honest it just feels as if there's a massive hole in my life:sick:. I keep myself busy at home and also read,swim,garden but its just so solitary and I feel very lonely. I have had a large family(4 of my kids are now grown up) and I just can't get my head round there now just being 2 of us instead of 7. I am in contact with my older kids(except for the oldest) but don't want to bring them down by being a Billy no-mates, so am trying not to rely on them. Have joined a dating site but (so far) have found people unreliable. I'm not looking for a soul mate ,just would like to make a few friends, male and female. I'm not really religious or into "clubbing" , so where do 50 yr old women go to meet new people?
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 You meet people through setups from friends, dating sites, or extracurricular activities/hobbies. I don't believe there is a secret hang out for 50 year old single people, but I suppose anything is possible. Volunteering at a charity might help fill that hole or adopting a pet can be rewarding.
TaraMaiden Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Worly, the problem is compounded now, by the fact that the summer holidays are upon us, and that's a great time for family vacations, isn't it....? My own simple (but extremely difficult) advice to actually implement is this: Forget the dating scene. Certainly for now (during the summer break) and maybe, even for a while afterwards. You're equating 'lonely' with 'alone'. I know plenty of people who are 'alone' and perfectly content within themselves to keep it this way, thanks very much. You're fresh out of an extremely distressing messy situation, created entirely by your ex, which put you in an almost unthinkably compromised position. It's only my opinion, but I really think your poor heart needs a break. And I mean that in a good way!! While I can understand this feeling you have, it's a desire to be desired, wanted and validated that drives you on. It's a desire to belong. It sounds trite, but consider going to evening classes and pursuing something you've been quite passionate about in the past, but have never had a chance to devote yourself to - until now. Study Yoga or T'ai Chi, and I would also suggest you might also like to investigate the practice of meditation. It's actually very constructive. Spend the summer with your daughter. Enjoy her company now and make the most of going out for the day with her. Then, when she begins school again, and you have maybe more time on your hands (I don't remember whether you are going to go back to your prior occupation F/T?) you can devote this time to you - and you alone - doing the things you'd really love to do.... I'm sorry I can't be more constructive... I'd love to help more. I hope you find a good place for your heart to grow, again.
spriggig Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Meetup.com looks like a good alternative to the dating sites when you're not ready to jump in with both feet but crave some social interaction.
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