ResetReality Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 right, i sent an email to her, apologizing and saying that there is no point holding grudges and just be happy got this reply today, after about a week "Hi Thank you for your email, it was nice hearing from you, Im glad you can get things off your chest and make a closure to our relationship, I agree we had some good times together and like you I will cherish them. Ive finish college now and im working more hours at the pictures going out with mates to different places and just getting on with life. I managed to get a DDM at college so im pleased with that and im trying to get in to the Health Sector. Like you if ever you need to talk or if ever you want to be friends just get in touch" wow. notice how its all one sided? not even asking about me? Ive finish college now and im working more hours at the pictures going out with mates to different places and just getting on with life that line gets me, i helped her with college work, and never stopped her seeing her mates, it was then who has issues with me, but yet shes making it out like i stopped her. ****ING BITCH WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN YOU?!?! you make me SICK! NOWW GTFO of my life and stay out well thats what i want to send, but hey, she doesn't deserve a reply, DELETED
This Hurts Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I think you expected a different reply. I don't think you should have emailed her in the first place. This is why dumpers scare me, because they've already disconnected emotionally, and since you haven't, they have the ability to hurt you in even the smallest of ways. Her reply, for example. Do not contact her anymore. You already left things off on a positive note in her eyes, and you'll be proud of yourself for this once you're over her. The email will most likely set you back, so you should prepare yourself for that. Right now you're angry, but I think you'll start hurting soon. Make plans and start thinking positive. The next few days might be a little rough. Just speaking from recent experience Since yesterday I've been feeling how I believe you're going to start feeling soon, so I feel great empathy for you right now. Keep posting and try to keep your head up.
Chinook Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Uhm no offense, but you emailed her - she replied with a polite catch up email. Catch up emails are usually about hey... what I've been up to lately. Yes she didn't ask about you because usually a dumper is sensitive to anything which may give false hope, she didn't want you to think you had a chance by seeming like she's bothered about you. Of course she's bothered, she wouldn't have replied at all if not. But she didn't want to open the whole 'is she bothered about me' can of worms...but lookie here, you did that yourself. To add to that she didn't make ANY comment about her friends or what they thought of you or of the situation - all she did was comment about working more, and going out more... stuff that you're supposed to do when you're getting on with life. If you're levelling the selfishness accusation... uhm, what did you expect, for it to be all about you...? Huh..?! See how things can be turned around hon...?! Try to see it from her point of view. Yes it's over, and yes she knows it's painful. But she hasn't been mental, horrible or angry in that mail - she could have been, but hasn't. Like This Hurts says, it is going to get worse before it gets better if you keep contacting her like this because you want a different outcome and she's not coming back.
Author ResetReality Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 (edited) yeh you guys are totally right, i know we are done, and tbh, im ok with it, at first it was like oh no, and now it like, hmkaaay i see what you guys mean, tbh, maybe i was looking for a different email, maybe something less formal? what up with the formality? i dont get it Do not contact her anymore. You already left things off on a positive note in her eyes, and you'll be proud of yourself for this once you're over her. exactly why i emailed her in the first place i sent her an email like This Hurts said, not to be petty and hold any grudges, why? because im the one who will hold that grudge forever and im not a bitter sort of person about her friends, previous thread show they did have a problem with me, long story, but yeh, they most defiantly did maybe i shouldnt of emailed, to begin with i wasnt looking for a response, i mean it would of been nice, but i did it more myself and myself only, in the email i explained that ive accepted were over and understand it all, and honestly i am, it is over, and ive moved on, if she wants to think im trying to get back with her then she needs to wake up, but a simple, im fine you? would of been nice, just out of politeness and nothing more i guess i hate how its all one sided, ps the original email sent was about us NOTHING to do with what she has been upto, whats shes done or anything like that, i see from reading this response it may seem like i asked her everything under the sun about her personal life, i didnt, so this response is just plain weird also, she keeps raising up to point of being friends? why do u think im emailing? just so we can put or relationship being and move on, like grown ups but hey, whatever, just needed to get it off my chest Edited July 24, 2010 by ResetReality
Chinook Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Dont worry matey - we all go through it - not helpful right now I know, but it does get better honestly. As for friends... uhm yea, tried that. It worked for him until he found someone else, then I became less of a friend. Doesn't speak to me at all now. 10 years down the drain. I kid you not. His loss. Besides, I'm getting married this year anyhow - so I was the winner in the end
This Hurts Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 RR, I understand why you emailed her in the first place, to leave things on a good note. This is something I would have done myself, so I really do understand. Just don't doubt yourself anymore. If you're like me, you'll keep asking yourself, "Was that a good enough 'last' impression she received from me?" And that will just keep tempting you to break NC. Whenever you feel like breaking it, just remind yourself that the last time she heard from you was good enough, and nothing more needs to be said.
Thorgs Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 RR, personally I would have sent it via post office and not email. As you probably have read, I sent a "last letter" off to my ex yesterday, even though it goes against what people advise on LS. For me it was more for closure because I never got to say what I wanted to say when she tore my heart out over the phone. I don't know if she'll ever get it or even read it, but it was a big weight off my shoulders. Right now you should focus on yourself. Get big at the gym and start enjoying life. She said if you ever want to be friends to get in touch. So when you are confident again and jacked call her up to hang out. She'll see you are happy and looking good. That would be the ultimate reply to anything...then she'll know she's the one missing out.
Author ResetReality Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 yeh, thanks for all the input guys, very wise words indeed, all the help is appreciated so much :love::love:
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