Nikki Sahagin Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I've known all along really, since I was a child that I am suffering with depression and anxiety. I've always ignored it and carried on, hiding away and hiding it from people. I know deep down that this is the cause of everything; my sensitivity, my inability to let go, my desire to people please and especially my indecisiveness because I feel I can't trust my own irrational thoughts and feelings. I don't know how to cope with these constant spells. Any other sufferers have advice on medication and stratergies? I'm sick of seeing my life under a great black cloud when so many people are living happy and normal lifes. I can't take any more and i'm losing who I am.
This Hurts Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I can relate completely. I've always been the introverted type. I always kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. My ex was the only person I voiced ALL my thoughts and feelings to. I always had this underlying sadness and anxiety, but what I have the worst is social anxiety. Recently (past couple of years) the sadness has escalated to depression. I don't know exactly why I am the way I am, and that's something I hope to someday solve in therapy. Until then, I'll just keep thinking I'm this way from being so closed-in since I was a kid, and maybe some other things, but I think only a professional can put those things together.
jond77 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 This is exactly my problem, it has stopped me from living for so long, and I fear for the future. I see nothing to look forward to. I think my ex was actually a bandaid
This Hurts Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 This is exactly my problem, it has stopped me from living for so long, and I fear for the future. I see nothing to look forward to. I think my ex was actually a bandaid Same here.
smk Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I learnt that due to things in my past I had blocked off and bottle up so much and the break up made ms realise that I had a lot of working on to do within myself. And TBH in a way I have her to thank for making me realise these things. I have started seeing a therapist and addressing my issues and hopefully taking the right steps to dealing with my own insecurities and hopefully becoming a stronger person for myself....
GrayClouds Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) Nikki that takes a great courage to admit. If a person is depressed for a long time it is really hard to understand that is not what life is, it simple feels normal. By doing so it says you are ready for something different something better. But by seeing the real issue it makes it really hard to distract ourselves with other things to avoid it. I have no doubt that if you really want things to be better it will bet better, it is not easy, and will take work, but now you know what you have to do. That dark cloud that you speak of just cracked open and you have seen a bit of the light and this light can only grow. Immediate help: Exercise; It consistently is proven to be as effective if not more then most medications. People struggling with depression, exercise is not an option but a necessity, everyday should do something find something you like, make sure it is aerobic. And shorty you will feel better and may even look better which make it a great place to start. But experise alone may not get you there. Eating Well; Crappy eating = crappy feelings. Again this is not an option, it is important to eat good real food on a regular basis. If you not getting the right nutrition it is difficult for the bosy to product the right chemical that it needs. Rest; Get sleep, force yourself to go to be and get up on a schedule. Longer Term Help: Therapy; Part of understand a long term depression is understanding that it effects our thinking both is good ways and bad. It gives us insights, sensitivity and a creativity other do not. Whit therapy we can figure out when you should use this thinking and when it may be getting in our way, this give us control, not the depression. It too takes some time and effort to find a therapist that fits with you. Some times you have to go to a few visits before you know if one is right, but if you do not think they are then it is simple a ppor match and nothing more. But when you do they will help a great deal to understand some of the influences of your depression and ways to improve on them. Medication; there is many out there, and will also help a great deal. Everyone say I do not want to take medication, well if you had high blood pressure you would take a pill. This is the same thing, your body chemistry is off, then these meds can help, a lot. Just make sure your working with Doc who has experience with them. They all have + and -'s so depending on your symptoms a good Doc will help you find what will work for you. Understand Meds will take up to 8 weeks before you start i feeling their help 100%. I really hope you take the next step, you deserve it. . Edited July 25, 2010 by GrayClouds
mickleb Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 God, Nikki! I am so impressed with you! This is outstanding progress, on your part. So many of us should learn to do the same: cut the crap and tell it like it is. Depression is what keeps most people holding on for much longer than is 'healthy'. It is what keeps most people in the cycle of thinking about them, endlessly. What makes it impossible to look ahead and believe in a future for ourselves. It is perfectly normal and right to grieve a huge loss, such as this for some months. For those in long (we're talking decades, here) relationships, a few of years might be necessary but there are LOTS of people who have underlying issues and label their break-up as the reason for all their pain. This is when us 'tough love' types needs to get our paddles out.. You have broken through, Nikki, to a place of real hope, with this thread. You are taking back control of your life. You will be successful. It is a long, hard and, often, lonely road but you will get there. I am sure of it. GrayClouds suggests the basics, very well. You will waiver from your road to recovery, from time to time, but you just get right back on and continue with the actions suggested. Start off with baby steps and you will make great strides. I do think finding the right therapist is so important. Therapy is not cheap, don't short-change yourself with someone that gets on your t*ts(!) The right therapist should 'get you' and you, them. It should feel pretty natural and helpful. You shouldn't have to be second guessing their every word. Do shop around, if you need to. Tablets can help give you motivation, if you need it. Living a full, healthy life, physically and mentally, can be exhausting for people who are at their peak. It can seem too much for a depressed person to even make a stab at. Medication can be very useful for getting you on the right path. Do not dismiss it if you need it. Do keep posting with how things are going. That's why we're here. Motivation is a necessity to beating this bugger. We can help. Remember, also, to give yourself credit where it's due. Nikki - credit is due. Take care, sweetie. x
hopesndreams Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I'm sick of seeing my life under a great black cloud when so many people are living happy and normal lifes. What makes you think their lives are happy and normal?
smk Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I'm sick of seeing my life under a great black cloud when so many people are living happy and normal lifes. What makes you think their lives are happy and normal? Nikki normality and happiness are by products of our own mind. In my book there is no definition of a normal or happy life, what I may think is normal you may find abnormal, and likewise what you may consider happy i may consider unhappy... I think its more about being happy within yourself, and being content that brings out true happiness, before I met my ex my vision of happiness was different, when I was with her it changed, and now we have broken up my view is different (TBH right now I am still halfway between thinking my true happiness was entirely due to her - which is untrue) she brought me joy, but happiness I made for my self. You are taking the correct steps and the first solution to any problem is accepance which you seem to be doing, it just mean you need to start identifying those triggers that make you feel depressed and trying to find ways of viewing them differently. I am not saying that I am completely perfectly stable - as i said before my break up made me realise so much about myself, but hey you know what, it is better to know and do something about your problems rather then pretending they dont exist and you seem to be addressing the issue which means the only way for you is forward. Keep up the hard work and sooner or later you will find your happiness and "normality" but always remember that you make your own happiness...
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