Lovingmargy Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Hello! I was with this guy for 2 years and a half. He was my high school sweetheart and my first everything, kiss, love, sex, real relationship. We were really in love, but I got the feeling that our cultures just did not miss. My mom did not approve of him after a year of being together because he wasn't to my mother's standards. And his parents did not like me because I was not like them. I just don't know if our cultural differences were too strong. We drifted apart, and he said that he hated me and that he regrets everything he did with me. Do guys really feel like this? So every time that he remembers me he will hate me and don't remember the good? Or is he just mad at me for the moment? He got a new girl after a week that we broke up, and I got the feeling that he was seeing someone else while we were together because he mentioned this girl at work once, and after we broke up he kissed her, but now he is going out with this other girl. I dont know!!!!! What is the deal??? Is it a cultural thing? Or is he just mean like that? Why?? I'm so confused!!! Did two years really meant nothing to him?? He promised me forever and I truly believed that he loved me, what is the deal????
Not strong enough Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Has something similar happen to me, minus the cultural differences, in substitute it was an age difference. Tell me if this sounds familiar, has the relationship been in a rutt, doing a lot of the same stuff for several months, you were always happy, and he had his moments where he was happy, but most of the time he seemed a little bit distant, contact slowed down, and you thought it was because of another reason. You broke up with him, but now looking back it seems like he wanted you to, so you feel like you dumped yourself. Because you really didn't want to break up with him? If this sounds familiar at all, i realize i might not be right on the money, but if i'm close. What probably happened is that he got bored in the relationship, met someone else at work, and right now, he's got that honey mood feeling like he had when you two first got together. One day regardless if he really loves you or doesn't, that feeling will die with the new girl, and he will look back and realize that the grass really wasn't greener on the other side so to speak. It was just spray painted. Hopefully if you really love him and he really loves you, it will be sooner than later and you can save it. Best thing you can do, ignore it, find someone knew, doesn't have to be a heavy relationship. The more you speak to him after a comment like he made the more you will push him back, and the longer it will take for him to realize hes been walking around on spray painted grass....It will also help him to move on if you talk to him. The new person, and i know you may not want one, will increase his jealousy and make him want you back. People want what they can't have, the better your doing, and the more he can't have you the more he will want you back. The anger he is expressing is an emotional wall, to help him move past you and to tame his guilt for what he did. The more you ignore him the better. Wait till you feel better, it will be a while, and make short contact letting him know even though he might not feel the same way you don't resent him for his decision and that you understand even if you don't, and if there's anything you need to apologize for do it, shortly don't bend over backwards and make yourself feel bad. Remember he did it, this is just to let him know that if he wants to talk he can. His wall will fall eventually, and i can't say he will take you back. But this will give you the best chances. I hope this helps you, i really do, it took me 2 months to figure this out, after i had already done some damage. By the way, even if you don't end up back with him, the anxiety of wanting to figure it all out will dissipate somewhat. I'm going through the same thing with my ex. Look at my name, when i signed up for this site, i just wanted to crawl into a hole, i can't say the site helped a bunch, but what i told you to do sure did. Now the concern i have is, whens the right time to make that contact, and worrying if i missed my first opening, but there's more then one exit ramp i believe, if you miss 182a you hit 182b, takes a little longer but you still get there. Just remember for it to work, hes gotta want you back the same as you want him.
myloveis4ever Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 sometimes u have 2 ignore what other people thinks or wish , standards bla bla bla.. if u like this guy - stay with him... tell him how u feel. but this guy is with another girl -- yes, what´s the deal... maybe the deal is that u and him forgot about uselfs... instead u guys listened 2 everyone else-- ? if u wanna feel better - talk 2 him and later go N.C. hugs--
monkeymaid Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 cultural differences can get in the way if you let them. i was with a jewish girl and i am not jewish. ....she wanted a traditional jewish family and i was cool with that, so we had it all worked out. we did not let it get in the way. her family hated it, my family hated it, but in the end we didnt care. it was about us and our life together. other things tore us apart but culture wasnt one of them. so if you let it, then yes it will rip your relationship in2, if you dont let it then no it actually will enrich it and give you both something else to explore together and learn from.
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