How do I stop being straightforward but address work situations efficiently?

[dressing up]

I'm a straight talker and need to get everything straightened out. When I encounter work situations that I can't stand for or think is unfair, I need to talk to my bosses or supervisors.

 

However, not all bosses or supervisors want to deal with all these. They, miraculously, seem to just want everything to work smoothly and everyone to work together perfectly.

 

I don't want to be annoying but I still want to get my points across without being a pain in the ass.

 

Anyone has any pointers I can do that? I can't seem to not be straightforward or feel the need to address situations on the spot.

 

Please help!

[D-Lish]

Here's the thing- not everything you deem important will be considered important by your boss.

 

Are you talking about the right way to lodge complaints?

[dressing up]

Here's the thing- not everything you deem important will be considered important by your boss.

 

Are you talking about the right way to lodge complaints?

 

 

Yes and no. Sometimes complaints (but of course I don't want them to come out as complaints but as something that will increase efficiency if dealt with) but other times just asking for comments when I deem myself not being of help to subordinates or how subordinates can improve (because they've annoyed me by being ineffective).

 

Basically I don't always mean bad but I get "emotional" at the moment when things don't go right and feel the need to IMMEDIATELY address the issues. I can't sit and wait. So I want to come out and address the things I want to address without being a pain in the ass or "oh her again."

 

How can that be done?

[D-Lish]

Yes and no. Sometimes complaints (but of course I don't want them to come out as complaints but as something that will increase efficiency if dealt with) but other times just asking for comments when I deem myself not being of help to subordinates or how subordinates can improve (because they've annoyed me by being ineffective).

 

Basically I don't always mean bad but I get "emotional" at the moment when things don't go right and feel the need to IMMEDIATELY address the issues. I can't sit and wait. So I want to come out and address the things I want to address without being a pain in the ass or "oh her again."

 

How can that be done?

 

By taking emotion out of the mix and excercising a little patience.

Also, pick and choose what you address with your boss.

 

The people that stand out in an organization are the ones that function well without having to micro-manage them. If something comes up, and you feel yourself getting emotional, stop, take a breather, and analyse how you could handle it without involving your boss. If that doesn't work, pick a moment to talk to your boss about it when he or she isn't overwhelmed by something else.

 

If you have an issue with another co-worker, try and solve it yourself first. If you have to go to your boss, don't frame your complaint as a complaint, frame it with a solution focused approach. ie: Don't say "so and so did "this" and they didn't listen to me when I told them they should do "this". Instead, say something like: "listen, something came up and I wonder if you could give me some advice on how to handle such a situation. I tried "x" and it wasn't effective, any suggestions on how I could have been more effective so I'll know for next time?" (or something along those lines).

 

Always try and solve your problem on your own first. If your boss tells you how to handle something, listen to them and apply their suggestions.

 

From a boss's perspective, I don't want to hear complaints all day, I do want people to try and solve the issue first before bringing it to me. I am more inclined to listen to a manager or associate that makes an effort to do their own problem solving before bringing a complaint to me. I am far too busy running back and forth between a bunch of stores to be addressing problems that could be solved without my input. I actually get annoyed by someone that complains too much and will start to view them as a trouble-maker (or incompetent).

 

So- leave your emotion on the back-burner to start with, that's very important. Think things through before going to your manager, you might just find yourself figuring things out on your own. If you're driven by emotion and impatience, your boss is going to start seeing you as an annoyance and won't take you seriously.

Edited July 24, 2010 by D-Lish

[dressing up]

By taking emotion out of the mix and excercising a little patience.

Also, pick and choose what you address with your boss.

 

The people that stand out in an organization are the ones that function well without having to micro-manage them. If something comes up, and you feel yourself getting emotional, stop, take a breather, and analyse how you could handle it without involving your boss. If that doesn't work, pick a moment to talk to your boss about it when he or she isn't overwhelmed by something else.

 

If you have an issue with another co-worker, try and solve it yourself first. If you have to go to your boss, don't frame your complaint as a complaint, frame it with a solution focused approach. ie: Don't say "so and so did "this" and they didn't listen to me when I told them they should do "this". Instead, say something like: "listen, something came up and I wonder if you could give me some advice on how to handle such a situation. I tried "x" and it wasn't effective, any suggestions on how I could have been more effective so I'll know for next time?" (or something along those lines).

 

Always try and solve your problem on your own first. If your boss tells you how to handle something, listen to them and apply their suggestions.

 

From a boss's perspective, I don't want to hear complaints all day, I do want people to try and solve the issue first before bringing it to me. I am more inclined to listen to a manager or associate that makes an effort to do their own problem solving before bringing a complaint to me. I am far too busy running back and forth between a bunch of stores to be addressing problems that could be solved without my input. I actually get annoyed by someone that complains too much and will start to view them as a trouble-maker (or incompetent).

 

So- leave your emotion on the back-burner to start with, that's very important. Think things through before going to your manager, you might just find yourself figuring things out on your own. If you're driven by emotion and impatience, your boss is going to start seeing you as an annoyance and won't take you seriously.

 

 

 

Thanks. They're good advice!

 

Has the damage been done? How can I resolve the "trouble maker" label? I don't think I'm seen as an incompetent employee since I'm good at my job but I want to stop being "emotional."

[D-Lish]

Thanks. They're good advice!

 

Has the damage been done? How can I resolve the "trouble maker" label? I don't think I'm seen as an incompetent employee since I'm good at my job but I want to stop being "emotional."

 

No, the damage hasn't been done!

If you make changes or improvements, they will be noticed!

 

If you're already "good" at your job, a slight behaviour adjustment will make all the difference in the world!

 

You might not be able to change how you feel when a situation comes up that makes you emotional, but you can change how you react in the future.

 

Hey, I'm emotional myself, and I have a tendancy to be reactive- but rarely will I let it get the better of me at work. If something happens that gets you riled up at work, DON'T address it when you're upset- always wait. Step back, think about it- go sit in the bathroom for a few minutes if you have to- anything to help you calm down.

 

Learn when to let things slide. If you want to address something with your boss, really think about how you should best frame it first, and never go to your boss when you are "emotional". Wait, wait, wait- even until your following shift. You might actually find yourself figuring it out for yourself if you take a step back and mull it over. The best advice I can give is to try and solve the problem first, really think it over before you talk to your boss.

 

I think it's great you actually care enough to solicit advice online about this- it means you are willing to learn new techniques and listen to other people's perspectives. I find that impressive.

 

If you can incorporate some of these new techniques into your work environment, it will get noticed.

[jenifer1972]

When confronted with annoying situations at work, I think it helps to reframe it as "what possible good can come of this for ME if I go complain about it." If it is unlikely that your criticism will be well received, it is essentially like cutting off your nose to spite your face.

 

I have been in administration and I have since left that and gone back into direct patient care, because of all the endless refereeing that is involved.

 

Basically administrators do want people to just get along, and try not to rock the boat. Many administrators, unfortunately, are quite like ostriches who bury their heads in the sand, and in actuality I think they get promoted because they are so good at IGNORING problems and just smoothing things out. So I would say, if you don't think your speaking up will result in your own benefit, just figure out a way to deal with it quietly.

 

I developed a saying about crises..."when in doubt...UNDER REACT".. and I also used to tell my employees, when we had a bad day, "well, no one was shot, no one got bombed, so relatively speaking, it was a good day." Try to keep the annoyances of your job in perspective of the whole of your own peace of mind in your life.

[dressing up]

What are the chances of an employer firing a capable employee for her "emotional" attitude?

 

I know I'm capable but I don't know how much what I've done would be tolerated. I want to change and adopt your methods but I don't want what I've done to be irreversible.

[Lauriebell82]

I speak with my supervisor about concerns with coworkers. A lot of the time though, even if my supervisor says something to them, it's ultimately up to them (the employee) to change their behavior. Some supervisors (like mine) are more laid back and "go with the flow" and don't want to cause conflict with staff.

 

Basically you/I get stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

My advice would be to go directly to the coworker, however this is easier said then done and I am scared to cause tension and conflict since I have to work with my coworkers everyday.

[D-Lish]

I speak with my supervisor about concerns with coworkers. A lot of the time though, even if my supervisor says something to them, it's ultimately up to them (the employee) to change their behavior. Some supervisors (like mine) are more laid back and "go with the flow" and don't want to cause conflict with staff.

 

Basically you/I get stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

My advice would be to go directly to the coworker, however this is easier said then done and I am scared to cause tension and conflict since I have to work with my coworkers everyday.

 

Because it's mundane drama! No boss wants to deal with that!!!

 

I am a laid back boss, in that I rarely get angry- but I log everything a sub-ordinate says to me in my own brain. A super-complainer is a problem.

 

A good employee doesn't bring drama to the table, they solve it on their own time. Boss's also hate "tattle-tails", I know I do.

[Lauriebell82]

Because it's mundane drama! No boss wants to deal with that!!!

 

I am a laid back boss, in that I rarely get angry- but I log everything a sub-ordinate says to me in my own brain. A super-complainer is a problem.

 

A good employee doesn't bring drama to the table, they solve it on their own time. Boss's also hate "tattle-tails", I know I do.

 

Yeah, you are right. i need to go with the flow. The problem is that when coworkers display this behavior, it effects my ability to do my job and get work done. I come out looking like the stupid one. But I probably need to just back down and stop bringing it up. Thanks.

 

Oh, and I already know that my coworker does the same (complain/drama) so I need to give my poor supervisor a break. She's probably going nuts.

[D-Lish]

Yeah, you are right. i need to go with the flow. The problem is that when coworkers display this behavior, it effects my ability to do my job and get work done. I come out looking like the stupid one. But I probably need to just back down and stop bringing it up. Thanks.

 

Oh, and I already know that my coworker does the same (complain/drama) so I need to give my poor supervisor a break. She's probably going nuts.

 

Results matter.

 

But yeah, if you have personal issues with a co-worker, deal with it yourself. I don't want to go into a store and hear about personality conflicts- I only want to discuss the bottom line.

 

It doesn't matter what industry it is, most major managers only pay attention the bottom line.

[Lauriebell82]

Results matter.

 

But yeah, if you have personal issues with a co-worker, deal with it yourself. I don't want to go into a store and hear about personality conflicts- I only want to discuss the bottom line.

 

It doesn't matter what industry it is, most major managers only pay attention the bottom line.

 

Yeah, I think my coworker and I need to have a chat. I'm scared though! She's not the most "approachable" person.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread!

Edited July 29, 2010 by Lauriebell82

[jenifer1972]

You must always do something like this with a witness of some sort. People who are at odds will often exaggerate and down right lie about what was said in a situation like that, and it becomes a non provable "he said/she said" king of thing.

[D-Lish]

Yeah, I think my coworker and I need to have a chat. I'm scared though! She's not the most "approachable" person.

 

Sorry to hijack the thread!

 

It depends on how major your issues are with her. If it's something the two of you should be able to work out amongst yourselves, you can try that first.

 

You could always ask your supervisor to mediate a discussion- because that's what a supervisor is there for.

 

I don't mind sitting down with associates or managers and facilitating a conversation. Especially if such an intervention gives them an idea of how to communicate with one another in the future.

 

LB, you can also always ask your boss for guidance on how to handle your situation. It's the approach that matters. Don't complain to your boss about your co-worker, instead tell your boss you want some guidance on how to handle a particular sitation because it's important to you to straighten things out with as little strife as possible. I always respect the latter way of approaching things. Your boss might very well want to facilitate the meeting, and that's okay too.

[keane2010]

Thanks. They're good advice!

 

Has the damage been done? How can I resolve the "trouble maker" label? I don't think I'm seen as an incompetent employee since I'm good at my job but I want to stop being "emotional."

 

A couple of suggestions, if I may:

 

Really try to limit concerns discussed with boss to those that directly impact cost or efficiency unless he/she signals a willingness to dicuss.

 

Do you have regular one on one discussions with your supervisor? If so, can you use these to highlight issues that directly impact efficiency or cost, and try to bring in potential solutions?

 

If you feel that you've established a reputation for being a trouble maker, I'd recommend talking about it positively with the boss. For example, "I feel like I've let things really bother me in the past, but I'm really working on improving. As an example

1. . I think if a good manager sees you trying to resolve and offer solutions, he'she will be more willing to help in the future.

 

Lastly, your position and pay within the position might have a lot to do with your boss's expectations from you. I have a couple of employees in my group who are at the low end of their salary grade, so I expect more time to help them, but another of their coworkers was hired at a much higher pay based on experience. I expect him to resolve most of his issues and would give poor ratings if he couldn't.

[westcoastgirl79]

i have similar issues/concerns with my career with a major clothing retail company. i used to work for a different branch and store of this company. there was no drama and everyone worked together. if there were any interpersonal issues people addressed them like adults should - straightforward but with tact and professionalism.

i now work in a different store and branch of this company. i don't think there could be more drama and tension in one building. i have asked for a transfer but have been denied my request. apparently this a common request from this store. the general manager has already been demoted (and i think it was in part because of my relentlessness in pursuing what they promised me when i was hired). i am only a parttime manager and although i want desperately to be fulltime and need to be, my superior has not only said no he refuses to help me and has now stopped speaking to me (among other women at work). my gm wants me to be trained by him. they see my single-mom position as a negative for consideration for fulltime work. i am beyond livid. i was told i would have healthcare, fulltime by this fall, and not be working insanely odd hours but all this has not been true. my co-workers. well i just feel awkward around all of them because they consider me an outsider and they all know i am going through a nightmare of a divorce/custody battle.

anyways i just wonder, should i keep pushing my boss and DM for fulltime and to be transferred back to the west coast (i am currently in MN) and trust their vague "promises" or should i go over their heads again which would probably work but would keep good terms? i know that if my company knew the dynamics of our store, there would be ruffled feathers big time. too many employees have been or currently feel like it is a hard place to work and emotions rise often. (i am having a terrible time with this myself.)

 

any suggestions? comments?

[Mary3]

Because it's mundane drama! No boss wants to deal with that!!!

 

I am a laid back boss, in that I rarely get angry- but I log everything a sub-ordinate says to me in my own brain. A super-complainer is a problem.

 

A good employee doesn't bring drama to the table, they solve it on their own time. Boss's also hate "tattle-tails", I know I do.

 

Beautifully Spoken ! At work , we called them troublemakers , instead of solving their own problems , they are barging in and bothering the supervisor. ( all the time ) and tattle tailing ( telling ) sp- on the co workers.

 

Eventually they will get tired of it. Unless you have a serious valid complaint such as sexual harassment or a serious safety issue , most supervisors want you to figure it out on your own.

 

Save it for the weekly meetings to hash out different issues.