confused192 Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Well...damn. So, I had been gearing up for like a month to go to my ex's show (he's a comedian) and I was so excited knowing that I would be seeing him. We originally connected at one of his shows and I have great admiration for him, as he really is one of the best. Our relationship ended really well, mutual respect, warm wishes for each other, etc...the timing just wasn't quite right as he was just recently divorced and trying to figure his life out as a single dad with 2 young girls and a booming career at that. So I was not nervous or anything to see him. Well a few hours before the show, I emailed him to say that I would be attending and I hoped he had a safe flight into the city. He emailed back and said how good it was to hear from me and that he thinks of me often. He said that he couldn't hang out with me that night though because he was traveling with his girlfriend. AAAAHHH! Just devastation. I really had not expected to read that and it really blew me away. He finished the email by saying that he was really glad to hear from me (again) and that he was glad I was coming tonight. So have you all run into the ex with the new girlfriend/boyfriend? How do you deal with it? And do you think he was just being cordial in the email since I was paying money to see his show or do you really think he might have enjoyed hearing from me? PS- I did make sure to look smoking hot and sit near the stage. He saw me in the middle of his act and lost his train of thought and stuttered out something about a viper and AT&T!! Haha that made me smile.
Chinook Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Look at it the other way around, what if you had taken a guy along... how would he have felt..? Crushed..? Upset..? Devastated..? Unlikely I guess. But you need to look at the whole picture, not just how you feel about it. He said he couldn't hang out because his g/f would be there... and he didn't want to upset her. That's a nice thing to do for someone, plus he spared you the discomfort of having to deal with the new g/f situation. Lily, same issue for you. Your ex didn't show because he didn't want to hurt his g/f.
cavedweller Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 192, He has a new GF..He is riding a new pony...When it is over it is over..You need to move on..
Author confused192 Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 Thanks for your responses. I have to say that I had mostly moved on from him and, even today, I am feeling okay about everything. I just asked because I wanted to know how people deal with that initial shock of hearing your ex has a new girlfriend or boyfriend. I won't deny that my heart sank upon reading those words...but within a few hours, I was feeling okay. I mean, the man was married for 15 years before he ever knew me...I am not naive enough to think about him only being with me. I guess I could have avoided emailing him and avoided going to his show. However, more than anything else, I am a fan of his work and his act makes me happy more than seeing him or hearing he's with someone else makes me sad. Also, I guess I just found it odd that he would say twice that it was really nice to hear from me, that he thinks of me often and that he was glad I was coming to the show. I too have 'riden a few new ponies' since seeing him but those relationships come and go. He once told me that he and I have a 'great track record at this point' meaning we don't hate one another and there are hard feelings between us. I am fine to move on...as soon as I find someone who is comparable to the way I feel about him. To date, I have never found anyone that makes me feel the way he does.
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