xx.Kael.xx Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Not sure of your time zones, but for me its Friday night. Just getting ready for a night out with friends, with or without the x on my mind. I'm spreading my good will, so please if you can...have some fun, keep busy, call up friends and do something nice for yourselves. Were all in a time of need, so make this YOUR time to bring some joy. Easier said than done, but push hard. LS has made my days more comfortable, so keep no contact and you'll be alright best wishes, - kael
smk Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I did what you said. I phoned up some friends last night and went out - drank like a bitch and partied... Granted I didn't have that great a time because all I did was think of her, looked for signs of her in everyone I saw, cried about her to some random stranger, but you know what it was a step forward with getting on with my life... Her sending ms the txt last night made me realise that i can't and won't stop living. Granted we are no longer together, grated life right now feels ****, granted facing each day feels like ****, but you know what that doesn't mean I need to stop living, it doesn't mean I need to stop loving, and seeing as I am still alive then this can only make stronger... So I decided I am not going to try and stop loving her, I am not going to try and stop thinking about her, I am not going to stop pining for her, but instead what I am going to do is deal with each moment as it comes, I am going to try and take life by the mother ****ing horns and try to live it... The world hasn't stopped revolving because of my broken heart and it won't so I may as well get my ass into gear and move the **** along... Ps sorry for expletives - it gives it a little more oomph... Lol
Chinook Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Good post smk. I think right there, you may have turned a corner. Pledging to 'not try to stop loving her' means you have accepted that you can't change how you feel, you're accepting it and moving along anyhow. This kind of feeling sometimes is unnoticeable and at other times it's a huge revelation. But I can tell you now, when I turned this corner 3 years ago, it was a big step forward in my recovery following my last break-up. You'll get there. Just take it a day at a time, a breath at a time.
smk Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Good post smk. I think right there, you may have turned a corner. Pledging to 'not try to stop loving her' means you have accepted that you can't change how you feel, you're accepting it and moving along anyhow. This kind of feeling sometimes is unnoticeable and at other times it's a huge revelation. But I can tell you now, when I turned this corner 3 years ago, it was a big step forward in my recovery following my last break-up. You'll get there. Just take it a day at a time, a breath at a time. I realised that the only way forward for me was to not try and stop myself feeling all those things, but instead to accept them for what they are and just slowly move along one step at a time... I can try and be angry, but what's that going to solve? Nothing... I don't know what she is going through, but what I do know is that when I saw her pics on FB I noticed something, she no longer had the glow in her skin, she no longer had the sparkle in her eyes, and she looked unwell... Maybe it's a trick my mind is playing to help me move forward, but I actually felt my heart go out to her... I am not trying to take her side or defend her, but the truth of matter is that I will never know what she is feeling and it's no longe my place to know these things, but I do wish her well... What's done is done and right now I need to work on me and just pick up the pieces and move on with my life...
This Hurts Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I will never know what she is feeling and it's no longe my place to know these things What a hard thing to accept But with time it'll come, right? I don't wish any good for my ex. At least definitely not right now, or anytime soon. I've had my moments where I feel I won't be able to move on unless she's happy or at least okay... but I keep remembering that she's an absolute emotionless, selfish b*tch and then all positive wishes for her vanish. I like it. I like not having fond thoughts about her. But deep down I know I'm hurt by her and I wish she wouldn't act the way she has towards me, and I hate knowing that. Phew. Mini-vent over.
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