LoveLace Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 to love someone very much, but unable to see yourself with them for the rest of your life? Or, if you can't see yourself with them forever, then perhaps do you not really love them after all? I've felt this way more than once. I'll know if I don't wanna be stuck with someone forever; but I won't want to lose them, either, and be scared to lose them. No one has asked me to marry them, lol, but there are men I've loved that I felt this way about...love everything about 'em, miss them when they're gone, etc, but cringe at the thought of seeing them everyday for always...omg. Does it just mean I haven't met the one?
denise_xo Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 to love someone very much, but unable to see yourself with them for the rest of your life? Or, if you can't see yourself with them forever, then perhaps do you not really love them after all? I've felt this way more than once. I'll know if I don't wanna be stuck with someone forever; but I won't want to lose them, either, and be scared to lose them. No one has asked me to marry them, lol, but there are men I've loved that I felt this way about...love everything about 'em, miss them when they're gone, etc, but cringe at the thought of seeing them everyday for always...omg. Does it just mean I haven't met the one? Here's my take: No, I don't think it is particularly 'natural' for us to do 'everything' with the same person for our whole life, day in and day out. I don't think we're put together that way, and that's one of the reasons why marriage is, in essence, a lot of hard work. So no, I don't think that means that you don't love someone. It's just one of the contradictions that come with how society/history regulates human relationships in an imperfect world. I'm pretty much where you are, but it's challenging to find alternative frames for a relationship.
Citizen Erased Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I was like that with my ex. I loved him but I felt like running for the hills each time anyone brought up us marrying. And we were together for 5 years so it was happening a lot. I put it down to me being too young but really I knew it was because if I did marry him it wouldn't last. He wasn't "the one".
Author LoveLace Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 True Denise, cuz not everyone gets married even though they are in love. If it's ever up to me, I'll prefer living with someone for a few years before marrying them. That's assuming I could stand to live with anyone that long...I'm an only child...have always struggled with things like sharing space or having someone around me on a constant basis. Even with my closest friends that I love most, I can only take so much of 1 person at a time. It concerns me that I might never really be able to commit at all..
Pyro Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 If it's ever up to me, I'll prefer living with someone for a few years before marrying them. That's assuming I could stand to live with anyone that long...I'm an only child...have always struggled with things like sharing space or having someone around me on a constant basis. Even with my closest friends that I love most, I can only take so much of 1 person at a time. It concerns me that I might never really be able to commit at all.. I did that with my ex. We were together for two years before I finally decided that I was ready to move in with her. Like you I wanted to live with her before I decided if I wanted to marry her. After a year living together we were through. It wasn't due to being an only child, because I'm not. As time went on with her during the relationship I was realizing that we didn't really have much in common and it slowly drove a wedge between us which caused the passion to fade.
K'aycie Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 First off, there is no such thing as "forever", except maybe in the after life. And, I do not really believe in the concept of "the one". The "one" can be the person for whom you choose to share your life with....but I don't think either individuals get to claim that title until after they've been together 20, 30, 40 + years, or those who have remained together their entire lives.
Author LoveLace Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 First off, there is no such thing as "forever", except maybe in the after life. And, I do not really believe in the concept of "the one". The "one" can be the person for whom you choose to share your life with....but I don't think either individuals get to claim that title until after they've been together 20, 30, 40 + years, or those who have remained together their entire lives. I like that.
K'aycie Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I like that. Thank you. Hope it adds a little clarity to your situation.
alphamale Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 to love someone very much, but unable to see yourself with them for the rest of your life? Or, if you can't see yourself with them forever, then perhaps do you not really love them after all? I've felt this way more than once. love is usually transitory lovelace
Jilly Bean Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Not only is it entirely possible, but it's also the reason that many couples break up.
Joe10 Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 (edited) Marriage is more or less an economic arrangement. See "Marriage and Love" essay by Emma Goldman. Edited July 27, 2010 by Joe10
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