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I broke it off with you, but still want to txt/call u every often


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Posted

I mean seriously what is it with dumpers breaking your heart, and then phoning you up, or texting you every so often for whatever reason...

 

i get another txt today -

 

hope you are well - enjoy your weekend - as tempted as i am to reply i wont - but finally i begin to move 1mm forward and now i am 10 feet backwards.... why do they have so much control over us....

 

you broke up with me - for whatever reason - yet you still want me in your life??? for what so that you can make me pine over you even more than i already do???

Posted

Honestly, I'd reply with 1 of 2 responses.

 

1.) F* off

 

2.) Stop contacting me.

 

Both are to the point and should get a nice reaction from her. Maybe it's time to fight back a little. It couldn't hurt. A 2 or 3 word response is perfect.

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Posted
Honestly, I'd reply with 1 of 2 responses.

 

1.) F* off

 

2.) Stop contacting me.

 

Both are to the point and should get a nice reaction from her. Maybe it's time to fight back a little. It couldn't hurt. A 2 or 3 word response is perfect.

 

AC - i know i should do one of the above 2 but i wont...

 

instead i want her to think about what i am doing - now i want to play the mind games.. my partner just phoned me and said that she told her that she texted me and i didnt reply - my partner ignored it... she was asking my partner how i was doing, coping etc... my partner told her that i was getting on with my life...

 

i do want to reply but not yet maybe in a couple of hours - sometimes txt msgs take a while to get through.. but i need a short 3 word response that says a 100 words....

 

time to put the thinking cap on....

Posted

No no, if you want, you can look up my original thread I first started on here. I was told not to respond to those texts, but if I felt the need to, to keep it short. So say something like. "I'm good, thanks for the thought." And leave it at that.

Posted

My ex dumped me for another girl, well he dumped me because he got caught trying to get together with another girl. They did end up together a few months after we broke up and are even engaged, yet he always contacted me and tried his damndest to be my friend. I refused, he would get mad and retaliate. I finally asked him what his problem was. If he didn't want to be with me why is he freaking out that I don't want to be his friend. We were never friends to begin with. His answer was that it's really important to him that we're friendly so that HE DOESN'T FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN HE RUNS INTO ME. That's when it all hit me and I understood his motivation; it was also the last time I talked to him. Since then I have ignored every attempt at communication he has made.

 

If he dumped you and is contacting you whatever the reason it’s ALWAYS a selfish reason on their part and has absolutely nothing to do with how you feel.

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Posted

i replied with a simple

 

"thanks and you too"....

Posted
i replied with a simple

 

"thanks and you too"....

I did something bad...I ended up mailing that letter. I don't know or care if she gets it. I'm not resetting my NC time because this was my closure. It felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders because I never got to say anything when she broke up with me over the phone. And quite frankly, we only live once so do it without regrets.

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Posted
I did something bad...I ended up mailing that letter. I don't know or care if she gets it. I'm not resetting my NC time because this was my closure. It felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders because I never got to say anything when she broke up with me over the phone. And quite frankly, we only live once so do it without regrets.

 

as i said we are the masters of our destiny - and if this is what gives you closure then so be it... always do what your heart tells you...hopefully this will end that last chapter and let you begin the next one...

 

i am not going to restart my NC cycle either - i was tempted to right alot more but i think what i replied was amicable and kinda doesnt count towards breaking NC...

 

we all need closure and we all have different ways of finding it...

Posted
as i said we are the masters of our destiny - and if this is what gives you closure then so be it... always do what your heart tells you...hopefully this will end that last chapter and let you begin the next one...

 

i am not going to restart my NC cycle either - i was tempted to right alot more but i think what i replied was amicable and kinda doesnt count towards breaking NC...

 

we all need closure and we all have different ways of finding it...

Yep we are. Did she end up texting you back after your text her?

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Posted
Yep we are. Did she end up texting you back after your text her?

 

she didnts and TBH a part of me wanted her to txt back yet another part knew she wouldnt...

 

as always we are the Champions and we will always be the elusive "one" that got away....

Posted
she didnts and TBH a part of me wanted her to txt back yet another part knew she wouldnt...

 

as always we are the Champions and we will always be the elusive "one" that got away....

Amen brother!

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Posted
Amen brother!

 

it still ****s me off that after everything all it took was one llittle txt msg and here i am feeling worse than the day of the break....

 

it been 6 ****ing weeks already - yet even after we broke up with each day that passes i still love her more...

 

the little beauty marks she had on her face, her eyes, the smell of her hair, her lips, her tender touch - i would give anything to re-live those 6 months right now...

 

arghhhhhhhhh

Posted
it still ****s me off that after everything all it took was one llittle txt msg and here i am feeling worse than the day of the break....

 

it been 6 ****ing weeks already - yet even after we broke up with each day that passes i still love her more...

 

the little beauty marks she had on her face, her eyes, the smell of her hair, her lips, her tender touch - i would give anything to re-live those 6 months right now...

 

arghhhhhhhhh

I hear ya, you and I will both find someone better, that actually loves us as much as we love them. Take one day at a time. Maybe go on a mini-vacation!

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Posted
I hear ya, you and I will both find someone better, that actually loves us as much as we love them. Take one day at a time. Maybe go on a mini-vacation!

 

its just alot easier said than done... i cant stop thinking about her, i cant stop playing the what if's - i feel better some moments and then i realise i am only lying to myself...

 

i dont need her but i want her - she brought me the one thing i never had - contentment.... i wish right now i could just hold her in my arms and tell her how much i love her, how much i miss her, how much i just want to tell her (most likely myself that this is just a bad dream)... i miss her eyes, the smell of her hair, the touch of her lips, the feeling of her skin....

 

i wis i could go on a vacation (even a mini) - i have a job and a business but lots of debt (that i took for the business) and right now am just making ends meet...

 

i wish only that she loved me as much as i love her...

Posted
its just alot easier said than done... i cant stop thinking about her, i cant stop playing the what if's - i feel better some moments and then i realise i am only lying to myself...

 

i dont need her but i want her - she brought me the one thing i never had - contentment.... i wish right now i could just hold her in my arms and tell her how much i love her, how much i miss her, how much i just want to tell her (most likely myself that this is just a bad dream)... i miss her eyes, the smell of her hair, the touch of her lips, the feeling of her skin....

 

i wis i could go on a vacation (even a mini) - i have a job and a business but lots of debt (that i took for the business) and right now am just making ends meet...

 

i wish only that she loved me as much as i love her...

I'm with you on that. I'm barely scrapping by on paycheck to paycheck. Have you exercised lately? Exercise is a natural anti-depressant. I was all for going on a walk today but it's raining...just my luck. Heck, I don't even have enough money right now to pay for parking at the beach :sick:

 

That said, you, AC, and I as well as others, will all get through this!

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Posted
I'm with you on that. I'm barely scrapping by on paycheck to paycheck. Have you exercised lately? Exercise is a natural anti-depressant. I was all for going on a walk today but it's raining...just my luck. Heck, I don't even have enough money right now to pay for parking at the beach :sick:

 

That said, you, AC, and I as well as others, will all get through this!

 

yeah been running 5 times a week... yeah i had that last night - really wanted/needed a run and it started raining.... i wish i had a beach close to me...

 

the running helps but only temporarily - a few hrs later i am back to square one....

 

we will get through this i know that - its the journey thats a bitch - i know the harder the journey the greater the benefits but still - all we did was love someone and love them with all we had... the pain i am going through feels like the worst punishment you could give anyone....

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Posted

song of the moment

 

 

 

 

and she is portuguese like my ex....

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Posted
I haven't heard that song in a LONG time. Good song.

 

Great song and singer...

 

supposedly the UK have blocked any content from VEVO so the song wont play - which song is it???

 

i know its a great song - k looks little like her.... the hair is the same - eyes are brown - i really miss her tonight

Posted
supposedly the UK have blocked any content from VEVO so the song wont play - which song is it???

 

i know its a great song - k looks little like her.... the hair is the same - eyes are brown - i really miss her tonight

They really block it? That's weird :confused:

 

Leona Lewis - Happy...or any of her top hits are great.

Posted

All you can do is TRY and not think about her or what she is doing. The best part is that you get to be the mystery. You don't have to care what she is up to because she threw away the best thing will ever happen to her and now it's on her to deal with life after you. It's hard. It's very hard when you really love someone to let them go. I do not think of her anymore but have difficulty in another area that is closely related. (I work with the guy she cheated on me with and they are still together). So, healing, closure and all that stuff is hard and takes time and effort. Stop yourself from thinking of her and things become a little easier.

Posted
All you can do is TRY and not think about her or what she is doing. The best part is that you get to be the mystery. You don't have to care what she is up to because she threw away the best thing will ever happen to her and now it's on her to deal with life after you. It's hard. It's very hard when you really love someone to let them go. I do not think of her anymore but have difficulty in another area that is closely related. (I work with the guy she cheated on me with and they are still together). So, healing, closure and all that stuff is hard and takes time and effort. Stop yourself from thinking of her and things become a little easier.

Yeah, it sure is tough...my ex's daughter goes to school where I work and she's going to be in the grade I work with...I have a feeling it's going to open my healing wound.

Posted

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you shouldn't be responding to those messages.

 

You're only enabling these people.

 

And trust me, this isn't someone just saying it, I've learned it the hard way.

 

They reach out for several reasons: guilt, loneliness, curiousity, etc. It's usually selfish, and more about them, not you. Maybe things sorta suck in their life, so they wonder what you're up to.

 

But it's not for the reason you hope: that they want to rekindle things. These texts are merely breadcrumbs.

 

When you reply, they know you're still there, so their actions don't have consequences. They know you'll respond.

 

These people know you're heartbroken and miss them. They're not dumb. If they wanted you back, you'd know it. It wouldn't be some dumb generic texts.

Posted
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you shouldn't be responding to those messages.

 

You're only enabling these people.

 

And trust me, this isn't someone just saying it, I've learned it the hard way.

 

They reach out for several reasons: guilt, loneliness, curiousity, etc. It's usually selfish, and more about them, not you. Maybe things sorta suck in their life, so they wonder what you're up to.

 

But it's not for the reason you hope: that they want to rekindle things. These texts are merely breadcrumbs.

 

When you reply, they know you're still there, so their actions don't have consequences. They know you'll respond.

 

These people know you're heartbroken and miss them. They're not dumb. If they wanted you back, you'd know it. It wouldn't be some dumb generic texts.

Good advice right here. Next time you get a text, just delete it immediately. That way you aren't tempted to respond. When my ex did this a few weeks ago, she send the generic "hey" text. I didn't reply, then she sent a mean text because she wasn't getting attention.

Posted

I'm 13 mos into NC. It gets alot easier, brothers. Just stick to it. Let silence be your answer, in the end, the payoff is quite huge.

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