dijenush Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Me and my bf were together for about 6 month. It was the most extreme relationship ever for me. He did things I could have never imagined(did whatever he thought I wanted, even though I did not ask him to do anything) just to make me happy as well as unconceivable things (like bursting into tears during sex, threatening to commit suicide, and playing mind games). He did a lot of things I would have never accepted from anybody else, but I felt that he really loved me, more than anyone else did. We went together at the psychologist because he realised he could not stand my tongue piercing (which I had ever since we had met) and other things about me. Last week we split up. I knew that he was not open to compromise, because he told me so. He behaved like a jerk and I accepted it, and now I feel so lonely and sad. And I do not want other guys, I want just him. And I do not know how to keep myself from loving him. I rather love the person I fell in love with, before he changed... but that person does no longer exist. so i'm kind of confused. i know he does not love me any more, but i am sure he did at some point. why does love go away? Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Because it just does sometimes. I'm sorry you are hurting right now, but you will get past the hurt. Being wing someone only six months and he was already threatening suicide and playing mind games, and you had to see a therapist--well, the relationship was doomed from the start. count yourself lucky that you got out of something that may have caused you a LOT more pain down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 I don't know if "going away" is a proper term for love as much as "changing" or "maturing" is. My guess is that he's grown in certain ways, as have you, and he realizes that his needs from y'alls relationship isn't the same now as when you two first got together. Rather than be sad or dwell on what's gone, rejoice in knowing that you have loved someone. right now you're feeling as if there's never going to be another chance to love someone again, that this "is it." Many of the folks here will tell you that you ARE able to love again, only if you let yourself. Personally, I can tell you that I was in love once, and I thought my world had ended because my Mr. Right found someone else's wife to be his perfect Mrs. Right ... and then I met the person who was The One, though it didn't seem like it when we initially met! mourn as you need to mourn the loss of your relationship, but keep your heart open, knowing that love is out there waiting for you .... hugs, quank Link to post Share on other sites
Author dijenush Posted February 10, 2004 Author Share Posted February 10, 2004 i cannot believe it. he has a new gf. and all this after only one week, after we broke up because he felt unable of a relationship etc... i am so angry that i forgot about all the mess he left behind. argh...no more men for me... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 nah, men are cool ... it's the jackasses who disguise themselves as good guys that you've got to be on the watchout for ... Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 But it's also unkind & there's no justice, the heartless unemotional bastards that don't have feelings get away with this stuff cos they, well, have no feelings & the sensitive emotional caring people who love someone & only them are leaft hurt & in agony for months are made to pay. It sucks big time! Link to post Share on other sites
will_woman Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 sometimes, the love already die away gradually. And we are not awared of it. We thought that our spouses are still in love with us but we are wrong and never realise that. You can let yourself to be sad and mourn for sometimes....but life must go on. Be strong and you will find a new force that make u love and live on. Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Anytime you have a break-up....you are 'love shy' for awhile. That's normal. In time though....your heart will heal and you'll find someone else. I think most everyone in here has been in your position at one time or another. It's just the way life is. Some relationships work out.....a whole bunch of them don't. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you (or him, for that matter).....it just means THIS ONE didn't work. Hang in there....give your heart some time to heal.....and you'll be okay. It just doesn't feel like it now. Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Consider yourself lucky. Now the new gf will have to deal with the weird stuff. A good example I can tell you: I am 24 now but when I was 19 I got married. We ended up in divorce 2 years later and he moved on pretty quickly. I was sooooooo jealous and upset at first, but then since my ex and I stayed friends, I ended up being good friends with his gf (now wife) and I feel that she did me a favor because he still acts the same way but to her. My husband now is totally different and I see that now because I am friends with both the ex and his wife and I am so glad she took him off my hands. You never know....I was sooo heart broken and now I feel that God was telling me something Just think....This will pass eventually. I remember saying I was never going to be in love again, and ended up getting remarried and having a child. But men are not as emotionally in tune with things as women are. I am still dealing with crap with this one so consider yourself lucky you are free. Hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
Author dijenush Posted February 12, 2004 Author Share Posted February 12, 2004 I guess I'm officially healed. I still think of him, but for 1 hour a day at the most (in comparison to all day long, and sometimes even at night) and I do not feel bad about the lost whatever.... All I have to do is to manage to keep these high spirits up... 10x for the help Link to post Share on other sites
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