106rob Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) today is another one of them days had a big think to myself last night and decided this was it now no more contact with her i knew it was going to be hard etc,i ****ed up and sent her a birthday card and present i already had...instead of just giving it someone else and throwing the card like i should have done i gave it her....and recived a bag of stuff back with somthing init i had given her a few weeks ago see other thread for more info anyway i decided **** her! why should i keep tortureing myself like this,she wont face me and couldnt even give me a proper reason for the break up just told me one batch of things and other people another....and all by txt wouldnt meet me or even phone me/anser when i rang her and i only ever did my best and people told me (she did herself) said id made her happyer than anyone else ever had and she thaught about me in a way she never had aswell made plans for the future the lot.....and i fell for it all hook line and one big fecking sinker but i love this girl its her birthday today and i just took the dog for a walk and pruposely bypassed her house (we live yards from each other) but still caught the banners/baloons up for her birthday...made me start thinking again how much she ment to me so i need somthing to keep my mind off it today but im not sure what other problems not helping..... 1,my best friend is at work (our shifts clash atm he works when im off and i work when he is so we never get to do much recently when i need him most tbh) 2,other friends/acuatences will be at her party tonight (obv due to us living so close etc we have a lot of meutual friends/acuatences) 3,my other good friend happens to be her brother..... so im ****ed from all angles today tbh Edited July 23, 2010 by 106rob Link to post Share on other sites
Author 106rob Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 well can hear the music,must be meeting at hers before the actual party.......... o well off out soon........ taking my mum to asda lol! (wallmart) then meeting a friend for a few beers when he finishes work! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 well can hear the music,must be meeting at hers before the actual party.......... o well off out soon........ taking my mum to asda lol! (wallmart) then meeting a friend for a few beers when he finishes work! Actually your having a good day becouse while one minutes is bad the other your doing good. Keep reminding yourself the about the good minutes. And make sure you do not have too many of the beers tonight, you will be even more down tomorrow. Have a good nite. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 106rob Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 well i say beers,i will be on pepsi or coke as i am up at 5am for work,it just sounds better lol yea i am trying to keep my mind off her in all kinds of way,thinking of her bad points,and sorting things out at home etc (moveing house a month) with im sad and happy about at the same time aswell sad-iv lived here all my life,me and my now ex were ment to be living here together when my mum/partner move away with work happy-will make it easyer for me to move on not seeing her house/family in one form or another everyday ,luckly havnt bumped into her yet iv been dreading it! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 well i say beers,i will be on pepsi or coke as i am up at 5am for work,it just sounds better lol yea i am trying to keep my mind off her in all kinds of way,thinking of her bad points,and sorting things out at home etc (moveing house a month) with im sad and happy about at the same time aswell sad-iv lived here all my life,me and my now ex were ment to be living here together when my mum/partner move away with work happy-will make it easyer for me to move on not seeing her house/family in one form or another everyday ,luckly havnt bumped into her yet iv been dreading it! Time helps, keep active, your doing the right things (specially avoiding the drinking) Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 106rob Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 talk about bad timing...went the otherway round the block purposly to bypass her house again......turns out they decided to go that way aswell!!! she wasnt there but quite a few of the rest were Link to post Share on other sites
Author 106rob Posted July 23, 2010 Author Share Posted July 23, 2010 well having an up and down night,had some conversations with mate,not sure how i feel now,im still feeling upset at the thaught of her having a realy good night and mine jusr being avarage i suppose (selish of me perhaps but **** it its my time now to heal or try) but what he said was correct given the profession she is in,she should take a good look at herself first before even thinking about teaching others children,becuase the way she has acted is that of a child! (wont speak to me face to face or on the phone got her brother to do the stuff swap etc) and given she had a realy rough break up 2 years ago (her last serios bf before me other than a few flings) she knows how i must be feeling right now and wouldnt put me throguh it if she thaught that much of me,or maybe its givining her some kind of comfort by knowing she is/has hurt me! i had a rough break up from my ex and wouldnt put anyone else through the same pain (we split up with our ex's for pritty much the same reason,they were cheating and lieing trying to get us back so they didnt feel guilty then did it again/carried on etc etc) anyway thats another story im just in bed now hopefully going to get a decent nights sleep and not have the dream i keep having or any other about her or "us" good night LS Link to post Share on other sites
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