TheUnthoughtKnown Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I feel weird being on this site and talking about this, but its gotten to the point where I need to try as many different things as possible to help get over this. I was crazy about a girl, the closest person to me and my best friend, for nearly 3 years. Approaching the 3 year mark, we ended up kissing one night and we started dating. 6 weeks into it, we fell out. I felt as though she wasn't really putting as much effort into it as I was and I was starting to resent that. I felt she ignored me at times and didn't really seem much bothered, whereas I was pretty much always waiting around for her, checkin my phone every few minutes for a text, or else just mad about her when I was with her. My overzealous attitude wasn't what made things strained, at least I don't think so, maybe I'm wrong, I think it was more to do with the fact she wasn't in the same place as me. After our argument she broke up with me. I figured it'd be temporary, or at least there'd be a resolution. It's been nearly 4 months now and I've only had 4 texts in that time saying "Hi, how are you?" like she's tryin to vindicate herself by texting me, but she won't reply to my texts when I say "I'm okay, I miss you though." Anyways, I feel awful now. I can barely sleep sometimes for thinking of her, I feel physically sick if I'm eating something and she pops into my head. I cannot do anything without thinking about her and its affecting my Uni studies. Her memory is disrupting my entire life! I reached a point about 3 weeks ago when I thought I was okay, I didn't think about her all the time, then all of a sudden I found something belonging to her in my room and I cannot get her out of my head. I'm at wits end and I'm really worried for my own self being. I just don't know what to do...I'd really like some advice...
benB Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I am going through the same thing man. It is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. I don't know how to stop thinking about her even though she doesn't care about me
GrayClouds Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 That feeling crazy, obsessiveness, sadness, anger, can eat or sleep is all natural. A break-up that matter is traumatic and like any traumatic event our body reacts in a "fight or flight way" it goes in to hype mode, with you getting drownded with hormones that causes all those feeling. Bad new it sucks and makes you feel out of control, the good news it get better. There are things you can do to help it get better faster. Get a pen and paper and start writing your thoughts. Write fast and without interest in grammar or spelling, just get it out. Do it before going to bed, it will help with sleep. Start getting exercise, run, lift, walk, swim or do all. Get yourself physically tired everyday. This will help more then anything. Along with this make sure you force yourself to eat good healthy food. Make sure you lean on friends and family they will support you. Read the following do as it says it will help a great deal: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? You will not want to agree with what it says but trust me it will help you through the pain the fastest. I wish you well, keep posting.
Sonolumino Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I know what you're going through man, I'm going through the same thing. The worst part, is that you were friends for so long before the failed relationship, and now it's over in all aspects. If two people aren't compatible with each other as a couple, it will never work. They have to be on similar levels of emotional maturity too. Here's my advice. Get out and do things you've always wanted to do. Maybe buy some new clothes, go work out at the gym, breathe some fire into an old hobby, something to get your mind off of things. There is still a definite chance to save the friendship you had, as is shown because she still tries to contact you. I think she's testing the waters, to see if you've gotten to a place where friendship is possible. Instead of replying with the "I miss you" text, just reply normally, try to think of her as a friend again. This is very hard to do, and it will involve you moving past the romantic part of your relationship and focusing on the friendship aspect. But, it can be done since it is both of yours' more familiar dynamic. Good luck, and I'm sorry for your pain
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Thanks for the advice, guys. Its such a difficult thing to experience, and I'm hoping one day I'll be embarrassed that I even thought this much about it, and suffered this much. Hopefully. That NC thing, I've been doing that from the start without even fully knowing why. I think the best way is to fully remove her from my life. I don't want to be friends with her either. I don't want to know someone who could hurt someone so easily. If you say you love someone, how can you really act the way she's acted with me? All I want now is to stop caring about her fully, 100% but its so difficult. I'm sick of missing her so much. Its been 4 months. When does it end, you know?
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