heartbrokenmanda Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I had an affair with a friend of mine for over a year. (He's a serial cheater. He's married) I told a friend of mine all about it. She's married too. She knew I had feelings for him. I fell for him while in the affair. She liked him (as a person) but said she knew that he was a liar, cheater and didn't want anything to do with him. Last week she told me she slept with him. When I asked why she said that she knew he slept "with anyone" and by him not wanting to sleep with her it was a "blow" to her self-esteem. Plus, he had been playing mind games with her for a few months. Do I have a right to be mad? I'm pissed at both of them. Him for sleeping with her when he ended the affair with me; her for sleeping with him when she told me she didn't want to.
noel2 Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Sounds to me like neither of them deserve you! Let them make each other miserable and you move on with your life and make friends that wouldn't put her "self-esteem" ahead of you and your friendship.
jj33 Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Thats terrible. With friends like that you dont need enemies. And she actually tried to justify it? Cut her off. Now. Take good care of yourself
pureinheart Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I know your hurt, although everyone is sleeping with everyone...he is know to sleep with anyone? I would be afraid of diseases and such... If you can, find some new friends:)
jwi71 Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I had an affair with a friend of mine for over a year. (He's a serial cheater. He's married) I told a friend of mine all about it. She's married too. She knew I had feelings for him. I fell for him while in the affair. She liked him (as a person) but said she knew that he was a liar, cheater and didn't want anything to do with him. Last week she told me she slept with him. When I asked why she said that she knew he slept "with anyone" and by him not wanting to sleep with her it was a "blow" to her self-esteem. Plus, he had been playing mind games with her for a few months. Do I have a right to be mad? I'm pissed at both of them. Him for sleeping with her when he ended the affair with me; her for sleeping with him when she told me she didn't want to. I don't think you have any right to be angry. You knew he was a serial cheater and player. As for your friend...you have ZERO right to be upset your serial cheating EX-MM (because he broke off with you FIRST)banged your friend. Walk from the MM and keep on with your friend...
bentnotbroken Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I don't think you have any right to be angry. You knew he was a serial cheater and player. As for your friend...you have ZERO right to be upset your serial cheating EX-MM (because he broke off with you FIRST)banged your friend. Walk from the MM and keep on with your friend... I dont' think you have the right to be anything...you were with a man who had a wife. How do you feel as if you have that right be angry if she did the same thing that you did? She knew what your were doing and she was okay with it. She didn't tell you it was wrong, she didn't tell you to stop, she didn't tell you she would inform his wife..from what you posted. But she did decide to see if he would wag the dog with her so to speak. Don't friends do similar things, like similar things, keep each others secrets....what kind of friend are you if you are pissed at her for doing the same thing?
califnan Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Intercourse is for marriage between husband and wife.. The bodies of the man and woman, only belong to each other within marriage..
Author heartbrokenmanda Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 I know I have no right to be angry. I'm just upset because she KNEW I had feelings for him and slept with him anyway. She claims she won't do it again, but I have a feeling she will.
Woman In Blue Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I know I have no right to be angry. I'm just upset because she KNEW I had feelings for him and slept with him anyway. She claims she won't do it again, but I have a feeling she will. So what? Everyone else is too, so what's the difference? It would be in your best interests to get a full STD screening. What anyone could possibly see in a lying MM whore who screws anything that crosses his path is just beyond me.
bentnotbroken Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I know I have no right to be angry. I'm just upset because she KNEW I had feelings for him and slept with him anyway. She claims she won't do it again, but I have a feeling she will. She knew you HAD feelings for a MM. So did she. She knew you SLEPT with him. So did she. So what if she does? She is only mirroring your actions, your lack of respect or concern for his wife and others, your sense of entitlement and disregard, your willingness to trample on boundaries...and so on. This is someone who knew you and what you did, she helped you by not telling his wife, she is exactly who she appeared to be in the beginning. With friends like these, you already got a built in enemy. *shrug*
YellowShark Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I had an affair with a friend of mine for over a year. (He's a serial cheater. He's married) So you and the married man knowingly betrayed his spouse for over a year... go on. I fell for him while in the affair. So you fell for a guy who betrayed and lied to his spouse for over a year... go on. She liked him (as a person) but said she knew that he was a liar, cheater and didn't want anything to do with him. Last week she told me she slept with him. Gosh. Everyone is lying to everyone in your world. When I asked why she said that she knew he slept "with anyone" and by him not wanting to sleep with her it was a "blow" to her self-esteem. He's a liar and cheat, you had an affair with him, she's a liar, and betrayed her spouse too.. uhuh... Do I have a right to be mad? I'm pissed at both of them. Him for sleeping with her when he ended the affair with me; her for sleeping with him when she told me she didn't want to. You have no right to be angry with anyone since you are no better than either of them morally or ethically. Consider it a lesson learned... when you sleep with dogs you get fleas.
Rifareal Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 you should have known where your relationship is heading... you don't have any right to get mad nor pissed! know where your limits that's my advice!
Fieldsofgold Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Ok, you know he's a serial cheater, so you KNOW that he slept with everyone he fancied before you, and that he would sleep with anyone he fancied AFTER you. He had broken up with you. So your friend just happened to be another one he fancied after you. So what? At least your friend had the "decency - of a sort" to wait until you were no longer involved with him. *That's a lot more decency than you showed his wife.* So, in a way, your friend is more honorable than you!
jj33 Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I totally get where the OP is coming from. Its one thing to say you cant expect more from the MM. Of course you cant he is a player. But you can and should from a friend IMHO. To me she is no friend. Of course the OP is no friend to the W but thats not the point of the thread as far as I understand it.
Owl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I say pay her back. Sleep with her husband. Make it an even keel all the way around. Right now...he's the only one being left out. He might as well join in the fun too, right?
Author heartbrokenmanda Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 Yes, I know he's a serial cheat and he'll keep doing it. The thing that gets me is: She would say: I don't want to see him at the gym (they go to the same one), I have no desire to sleep with him, blah, blah, blah. Then she goes and does it! I asked her: Why? You told me you didn't have any desire to. (No woman I know will sleep a guy she doesn't like unless she's getting paid for it. She HAS to like him.) Then after it happened she said that she likes him as a friend and finds him attractive. Do you think deep down she likes him more than she's telling me?
YellowShark Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Yes, I know he's a serial cheat and he'll keep doing it. The thing that gets me is: She would say: I don't want to see him at the gym (they go to the same one), I have no desire to sleep with him, blah, blah, blah. Then she goes and does it! Don't you see where this is going? Everyone is lying and cheating on everyone in this situation... and now you don't even know which way is up. You can't make sense of anything because you can't trust your friend OR the guy you are having an affair with. It's all so unhealthy and toxic. And this is a very good lesson why people should not get mixed up in affairs.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I had an affair with a friend of mine for over a year. (He's a serial cheater. He's married) I told a friend of mine all about it. She's married too. She knew I had feelings for him. I fell for him while in the affair. She liked him (as a person) but said she knew that he was a liar, cheater and didn't want anything to do with him. Last week she told me she slept with him. When I asked why she said that she knew he slept "with anyone" and by him not wanting to sleep with her it was a "blow" to her self-esteem. Plus, he had been playing mind games with her for a few months. Do I have a right to be mad? I'm pissed at both of them. Him for sleeping with her when he ended the affair with me; her for sleeping with him when she told me she didn't want to. the only person that has a right to be mad if she knew is this guy's wife. the both of you must really have it in for this guy's wife.
Author heartbrokenmanda Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 My friend was very upfront about sleeping with him and he and I are no longer having the affair.
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