Iloveyou4ever Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 well me and my ex broke up a month ago.. we were together for 4 years... and i was the one who broke up with her because she was acting completely different but thing is i regretted it i tried to get her back but she said this is what we needed...since we fought a lot...she said she wants me to have fun but that she will always love me...keep in mind while all this was happening she was talking to her ex...and now their together :/ how can all of a sudden she just moves on and claims shes in love with him? how can she forget all those wonderful things we did and her love just fade away?......she said she wants to be friends because i will always be a part of her life i have all of her things she gave me and her notes from hs and she still has our pictures on fb like a picture were my name and her name are written on the sand and she still has our first pics when we took when we first started dating and a note saying how much i love her...i dont want to lose her at all but i still have hope that she will realize what shes doing and come back to me...i really love this girl and i have been going out with friends and stuff and workin on myself and it does work but then when i least expect it shes on my mind..i dont always think about her 24/7 and im not lonely at all...i am really in love with this girl..were going to go out in about a week to dinner and stuff but as friends, we dont text a lot just a couple messages and thats it....is there still hope for me?
jsa100100 Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 no. do NC, not a dinner, or you'll lose whatever little dignity you have left.
cavedweller Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Iloveyou4ever, Some relationships just will not work no mater what you do.. You need to go 100% NC and move on..
Beeotch Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 The truth I have come to realize from looking back at my most recent break up and ones past is: EVERY break up happens for a darn good reason! The only thing is: you can never see it or it is hard to truly believe it when it is occurring and your instinct is to cling for dear life. But often when you look back in retrospect, when you have moved on, you feel shocked at yourself, relieved or have to laugh at how incredibly sensible it was that it had to occur and you see everything as plain as day, like a mystery movie you've watched before (the actors in the film are oblivious while we as viewers see it as plain as day). My advice would be to take some time through No Contact to get yourself together and to truly contemplate that time a part may be good. If you lose something, it never really belonged to you My philosophy is that, what is meant for you, no one, or no thing can take it away. So if she is the one for you to be with, then time a part cannot eliminate it. If we have to, hold on to something for dear life...it may not be for us, or not for us at this moment. Letting go is HAAAARD especially before you truly learn what it means or if you don't have an understanding of "the bigger picture", it is hard to trust that everything happens for a reason....but it does. Respect her wishes and accept that the relationship is no longer in the same form now and go within yourself and do the work you need to do for you....if she is for you, it WILL come back around and be better than ever. Also, I believe that if both people have work to do before being together but they keep trying to reconcile prematurely, it won't work and will end up at the SAME place sooner or later. So might as well take all the time you need to get it right, if it is to be, than to keep rewounding yourself by going through that break up and get back together cycle.
BigProc Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 I feel for you m8 i really do as i am goin through exactly the same thing. I dumped my ex because we were arguing all the time and it just wasnt working, however i soon regretted my decision. This happened 3 month ago. Now at that point i should have put nc into action straight away, but we carried on seeing each other, sleeping with each other etc. Her ex then came back on scene and i was left high and dry and heartbroken. She no longer wanted anything to do with me, which made me think she was using me to feed her ego and wait till somthing else came along. I have been in nc now for just over 2 weeks, you must do the same ASAP. Do not go out to dinner with her. I suspect like my ex she is keeping you on the hook as a back up plan if it all goes wrong and also to feed her ego. She will feel quite the queen bee with her new boyfriend and you also wanting her aswel. Dont give her the satisfaction. The only way to have a chance of getting her back is nc. Il be honest im doing it in a hope she will realise she wants me back, but at the same time its helping me heal. Deep down i dont hold much hope of her coming back and unfortunatly its your best chance but i feel the same for your situation to. But after reading lots of priceless advice on LS, its clear this is the only way to go,time is a great healer and thats what you should be heading towards, getting over her and finding someone who wants you. Also any quick re union with your ex will end in failure. If you do decide to try again you need at least 2 month to get over the bitterness of the final parts and the breakup of your relationship. It will be a bit like starting again from scratch with a clear mind. I hope this helps bro, its what im doing in my identical situation now. GL
Recommended Posts