dontgetmen Posted February 9, 2004 Posted February 9, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color] Hi this is my first time...I am a single mom w/ 3 kids. This seems to pose a problem to men that I meet. One isn't bad, two is acceptable...but, three is over the limit. I am not trying to find a guy to marry me. But I am not interested in dating several different men. Either they are looking to get married themselves and are picturing the Brady Bunch scenario or they are afraid that I want a ring. Usually the former not the latter. I know that if one were to meet my kids he wouldn't have as much of a problem...but, I don't want to introduce anyone if they aren't going to be around for a while. It's a vicious cycle. I have to add that there are "some" that don't run...but, they are not the guys that I want. Usually way too young or just not attracted to them. Are there any nice looking (not to sound shallow) guys that are single and don't have a problem w/ a woman w/ a bunch of kids? Because I can't find them.
NEONINK Posted February 9, 2004 Posted February 9, 2004 The Law of Attraction... Stop saying there aren't any guys out there for your situation. Once you focus on how great guys are that will accept your situation, and the fact that many people would like to have an instant family, it will be ok. Focus on good thoughts, come from plenty, never think in a limited manner.
doniker Posted February 9, 2004 Posted February 9, 2004 I always had a strict rule against dating women with kids. When I was 31 I met my current wife; her son was 13 at the time. I got her pregnant, we got married, and now 9 years later I still don't and never have gotten along with her son....I went against my rule. 3 kids is alot of excess baggage. Alot of single guys with no kids will fear all that commitment. Divorced guys with kids have there own headaches.
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 9, 2004 Posted February 9, 2004 I had a girlfriend, much like you, who thought NO ONE would want her because she had two boys. Nothing I could say would convince her otherwise...until eight months later she met a wonderful, attractive "got-it-together" man who married her AND her family. They've been married now for over ten years and even had two more sons! The only men who will be deterred because of your children are the "wrong" men. Consider them your anti-jerk defense. Meanwhile, its okay to date as many people as it takes before meeting Mr. Right. You don't necessarily have to bring every guy into your home. As a matter of fact, I would recommend against it. And I'll tell you the same thing I told her: RELAX!... You will find someone who'll love all four of you again!
jmargel Posted February 9, 2004 Posted February 9, 2004 I dated a chick who had two kids. I don't have any of my own, but when we first talked & she told me I was hestitant at first. But when I met her she really had me attracted to her. When I met her little girl all my hestiance was pushed asided. Thinking if this little girl could accept me, someone who she doesnt know into her life then for me to not want to be with someone because she had kids would make me the biggest jerk in the world. The relationship didn't last long, due to her wanting an ex-bf back, but the time I did spend with her & her kids taught me alot about myself. If a guy doesn't want to get to know you because of your kids, then he's not worth your time. There are men out there that wouldn't mind meeting someone like you.
Author dontgetmen Posted February 9, 2004 Author Posted February 9, 2004 Yep...I have heard of these great guys ...they just all seem to be taken already. I have dated plenty...did the bars, set up by friends, online dating (they all lie w/ pic's)....no luck. I even went on a date w/ a sales rep that came into my work...just wanted...one thing. I also went on a date w/ an old fling from h.s. He contacted me...we went out...he said that he had a great time...that I was a little hottie...just strung me along and never asked me out again. There may have been other issues there w/ the ex wife...cheating thing...he was burned...but so was I. It doesn't help that I live in a very family oriented area...where everyone is married...even if they are on their 2nd or 3rd marriage. No, moving is not an option. I just don't get men...
NEONINK Posted February 10, 2004 Posted February 10, 2004 For every yin there is a yang. Just send out positive thoughts, and remember how lucky you are to have great kids. There are people out there that would give their right arm to have even one, much less three. I saw the coolest thing happen from the greatest tragedy at my church. Within a year, one man lost his wife to cancer, a different women lost her husband to the same. These people were very young, both with small children. It was sad to see. However, after a year or two, they of course had lots in common, and are now married. It's true what they say, I guess. There's someone for everyone. Good luck.
brashgal Posted February 10, 2004 Posted February 10, 2004 My ex left me for a woman with 3 kids. You just have to have something they need to make them feel complete. Believe!
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