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Are men really intimidated by beautiful, intelligent, and/or successful women?

Star Gazer

By Star Gazer
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Feelin Frisky Established Member

Feelin Frisky

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I've been seeing a lot of comments around LS lately about men being intimidated by beautiful, intelligent, and/or successful women. Who ARE these men?

 

For some reason, I've never been able to wrap my brain around the notion that a man wouldn't approach or ask out a woman because he was intimidated by her. Is this really true? Does this happen?

 

And if so, what are such women supposed to do? Just sit around waiting for the one man who has a pair??

 

The first parts of your questions seem sincere and fair, the last of your questions seems idiotic and judgemental as if you've already drawn conclusions and aren't interested in the previous answers--just in humiliating anyone who doesn't think like you.

 

Not everyone has the same origins--great looks, parents with great attitudes with enough time for nurturing a person into confidence and self belief. A lot of men and women have had just the opposite--they may have been good looking but had neglectful parents who pacified them with pleasure foods to point of obesity. Their social life in school may have been torture as they were made the butt of jokes by teachers as well as their peers. There can be dozens of reasons more to drive them to have low self esteem and social anxiety which lasts even if they shed the image pitfalls that resulted in their mistreatment as youths. Anorexic traits often come out of this type of situation where people look at themselves in the mirror and always find something that they're embarased about even if most others would find them stunning.

 

Some sucessful or great-looking and successful people judge the world by their own experience and consciously or unconsciously damn everyone else who isn't just like them. I can remember two occassions that have given me pause to just go up to some hot looking chick. One I was told by some co-workers liked me. We always smiled and said good morning or good night or w/e but when I asked her in the hallway in private if she'd like to go to lunch some time, the bitch actually freaked as if I'm the gossest person she ever laid eyes on and went so far as to up and quit the job instead of just saying no thanks or w/e. On another occasion I was at a small seminar and seemed to be making nice eye contact with someone there by herself. Again I tried to keep it to lunch because that not so "cornering" as dinner. Her answer: "gimme a break".

 

When women say and do things so damn inconsiderate and impolite, to people who have perhaps some history of abuse by others, they may tend to ask the question "what's wrong with me?" Instead, they don't have the immediate confidence level to blow it back on the offending person--like "wtf, is wrong with her?" Or "what was her problem?" (Because I know I'm dressed well and qualify as good-looking and am employed and am obviously ambitious by being here.)

 

People with differeing backgrounds tend to judge themselfves unfailry when they face an impolite rejection. And it should be no mystery why they don't think they are worthy of some seeming icon of perfection. It's why one can feel intimidated by beauty--a damaged ego, whether earned or not, is a damaged ego, and no one with a damaged ego needs or wants another scaulding insensitivity to make all the old scars start barking together with the new one.

Mr White Established Member

Mr White

Posted
Posted
I've been seeing a lot of comments around LS lately about men being intimidated by beautiful, intelligent, and/or successful women. Who ARE these men?

 

For some reason, I've never been able to wrap my brain around the notion that a man wouldn't approach or ask out a woman because he was intimidated by her. Is this really true? Does this happen?

 

And if so, what are such women supposed to do? Just sit around waiting for the one man who has a pair??

 

 

This is just an excuse thrown around by angry bitchezz with difficult personalities. Intelligent women (who are nice) are much easier and more pleasant to communicate and have relationships with.

It's not about intimidation at all. In a perfect world good personality and high intelligence will coexist. However, if there is a choice to be made between nice personality and intelligence, personality is way, way, WAY more important hands down. So, if someonw turns down an intelligent woman, chances are he's not intimidated - chances are she's a pain in the ass, intelligence or not.

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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In all fairness though, as society is going through some growing pains while learning how to accept the idea of an intelligent, successful woman, I do have moments where I can come off with a chip on my shoulder.

 

And, I find that women are much more likely to give me a difficult time for being intelligent than men are!! Us being our own worst enemy is all too often the largest hurdle to us progressing.

 

Women who conform to the mainstream probably do find it easier to be nicer, because they don't get dished out so much grief for being themselves.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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And, I find that women are much more likely to give me a difficult time for being intelligent than men are!! Us being our own worst enemy is all too often the largest hurdle to us progressing.

 

 

 

I agree with you on this. Also women are more likely to give beautiful woman a more difficult time as well.

OrdealByFire Established Member

OrdealByFire

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It's also got a lot to do with a lot of men feeling like they should be the breadwinner and the smarter one. It's the 21st century, but a lot of men feel this way. It's not so much that way for me, as much as I'd just feel worthless if my girlfriend/wife was rolling in cash while I was barely scraping to get by.

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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I agree with you on this. Also women are more likely to give beautiful woman a more difficult time as well.

 

So true. I'm one of the smarter ones at my university, and the female students tend to be likely to give me looks and gossip to each other, much like Real Housewives of Wherever. Male students tend to appreciate my brain and see that I'm great to study with.

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
  • Author
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The first parts of your questions seem sincere and fair, the last of your questions seems idiotic and judgemental as if you've already drawn conclusions and aren't interested in the previous answers--just in humiliating anyone who doesn't think like you.

 

Don't be afraid to tell me how you really feel! :lmao: Sorry if I offended you.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

Posted
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I'm with you on interrupting what I'm doing. Besides that, I can tell a lot from body language of the man trying to talk to me. If he carries the same body language as, say, a male relative talking to me, then I don't automatically think "jerk". If eye contact becomes him checking out the rest of me in plain view while he's talking to me, then "jerk".

 

If I am interested enough to spend some time talking to you, can't I appreciate that you're attractive?

 

That's important. Don't you want to be with someone who finds you attractive?

 

If someone finds you at least somewhat attractive, it makes intimacy so much more powerful!

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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Appreciate that I'm attractive, of course, but seeing as much beauty in my eyes as in anything else suggests more that this is the kind of attraction I want!

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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Appreciate that I'm attractive, of course, but seeing as much beauty in my eyes as in anything else suggests more that this is the kind of attraction I want!

 

You have to give a guy time to appreciate your beautiful eyes...;)

 

However, when you're in the moment, instincts and biology kick in - we want to appreciate your whole body all at once! That's efficiency at its finest :D

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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You can easily appreciate my body as I'm walking away! When I'm talking to a man I want to get the impression that he's as blown away by my mind.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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You can easily appreciate my body as I'm walking away!

 

Teasing...

 

When I'm talking to a man I want to get the impression that he's as blown away by my mind.

 

Change your settings to emphasize your communication rather than your appearance. If you're smokin' hot and we're standing face to face, it will be hard to concentrate - I don't care who you are! :D Sitting down face to face at a table will enable a greater meeting of the minds...;)

Edited by You'reasian
MrNate Established Member

MrNate

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Here's some accounting.

 

A fine woman's assets appreciate as she comes closer, and don't depreciate as she walks away (phenomenal ass view). She she is like land.. she will never depreciate.

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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Here's some accounting.

 

A fine woman's assets appreciate as she comes closer, and don't depreciate as she walks away (phenomenal ass view). She she is like land.. she will never depreciate.

 

Haha, love it!

 

I agree about sitting at a table, and I've opted for much more conservative clothing on the first date than I used to. Only when I'm ready to kiss or beyond do I wear anything that shows even a hint of clevage.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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Haha, love it!

 

I agree about sitting at a table, and I've opted for much more conservative clothing on the first date than I used to. Only when I'm ready to kiss or beyond do I wear anything that shows even a hint of clevage.

 

Your assets would grow in appreciation to the first in first out method...

 

nevermind. Good on you!

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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See, accounting can be sexy! ;)

 

Why do accountants make good lovers?

 

Because they're great with figures!

MrNate Established Member

MrNate

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See, accounting can be sexy! ;)

 

Why do accountants make good lovers?

 

Because they're great with figures!

 

Amen. I know I am.:cool:

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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Are you an accountant Nate?

MrNate Established Member

MrNate

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Are you an accountant Nate?

 

Nah. While I'm not a CPA i've ran through so many calculations in my accounting classes that the concept is just burned into my mind. ha.

 

So I just understand the concept very well.:cool:

SassyKitten Established Member

SassyKitten

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Yeah, I'm not a CPA yet but I'm getting there.

MrNate Established Member

MrNate

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Yeah, I'm not a CPA yet but I'm getting there.

 

I have seriously thought about being one though, I'll give you that..lol.

You'reasian Established Member

You'reasian

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Yeah, I'm not a CPA yet but I'm getting there.

 

Accounting is not sexy....

 

female accountants who happen to be in shape, wear thick, dark framed glasses, hair in a bun, white low cut blouses and medium length dark skirts and high heels are...lol

Edited by You'reasian
zengirl Established Member

zengirl

Posted
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If I am interested enough to spend some time talking to you, can't I appreciate that you're attractive?

 

That's important. Don't you want to be with someone who finds you attractive?

 

If someone finds you at least somewhat attractive, it makes intimacy so much more powerful!

 

I assume if a guy flirts with me, he finds me attractive. He didn't come over without thinking, "There's a pretty girl."

 

I assume if a guy obviously checks me out whilst talking to me, he's a jerk. Nice guys know better. They know that coming over/starting conversations/talking to me means taking the time to get to know who I am and if I'm as potentially interesting mentally (emotionally is way down the road) as I am physically.

 

It's the same reason a guy calling me "Smart" goes further anytime than "Pretty." (This is especially true in online dating. Guys who contact me and talk predominantly about how pretty I am, not all the things I said in my very-me, careful-to-be-specific profile or even the things you can actually learn about me, as a person, from my photos. . . well, they are the first to go into the dustbin.) Especially early on. Later, call me pretty. First, get to know me as a person.

 

P.S. I definitely don't dress "sexy" for dates. Actually, I have very few "sexy" clothes. I try to stick on a spectrum of cute. . . a few pieces are a teensy bit more sexy, enough for nights out or special dates, but they're nothing I'd be embarrassed to be photographed and published in the paper wearing (in the appropriate setting). But I've got a cute, funky style. You can tell I have a good figure (not wearing a bag) but you're not going to see it all through my clothes. I think I pretty much never show cleavage, but part of that is the experience of living in Asia, where that's considered pretty trashy.

Engadget Established Member

Engadget

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I'm just annoyed by people who think they're special because they went to school.

 

Seriously, you're not.

  • 2 weeks later...
Pink Cupcakes Established Member

Pink Cupcakes

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Just saw Dr. Phil and this topic was brought up. Men are not intimidated by women. If you are not getting dates, and you are using this as an excuse - not the case. you could be making them run for the hills if you come off as thinking you are "all that."

Sorry, just going by the expert on Dr. Phil.

No, hon, they're not intimidated by you, even if you are a lawyer. They are turned off by your personality most likely. (Again, Dr. Phil Show.)

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