jnj express Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Can you get an anulment---being that she has already broken her vows probably prior to 6 months into the mge. Now you know why you were having all your marital problems---she was giving you all this grief, cuz she was already in love with him, and probably all her waking thoughts were of him, along with she probably spread her legs for him more than you will ever know. What you do know is probably the tip of the iceberg. It's total BS that he was helping her with the marital problems, he was helping her destroy the mge. You have 5 days ----You wanna make a very big point to her----pack up all her clothes, take them to her mother's, and tell her not to come back at all Watch she will be back w/in hours-----this whole 5 days is just a set-up so she can sleep with him. Cover yourself as to financial accts, and credit cards--If you do have to wait a year, do it as a seperated couple, and go out and start a new life There actually are good women out there, just take your time and find one----stand tall.
LifesontheUp Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Take some legal advice please. You may not be able to divorce until after a year, but it may be worth getting a legal separation drawn up. Usually the courts here like you to do a 50/50 split when divorcing. Even if papers are in your name, you are still legally married. Get some legal protection and advice now, rather than let it wait.
Chinook Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Unfortunately can't get a divorce until a year of marriage. Strange UK laws. But on that 1st anniversary I guarantee I will be waiting on the solicitor's doorstep!!! I'd check this out for sure. Yes, you're supposed to have 'cooling off' time. But based on your situation, I am not sure, but I think when proven adultery has taken place you are eligible for immediate divorce. I only know this because I have a girlfriend who didn't have to wait. Also, you need to kick her out because you can have procedures drawn out if you continue to live together after the adultery has been discovered. This can be seen as attempt at reconcilliation. In the UK there are only 2 grounds for divorce, adultery and unreasonable behaviour. Yours is pretty straight forward.
Maggotface Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 You still have quite a while until the one year mark. Don't let her sweet talk and beg her way back into your life. She will most likely come crawling back and use sex to her advantage. Thank goodness there are no children mixed up in this.
Binster Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Double check the legal situation. Go and see a solicitor it's always time well spent.
Author cookie2 Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 (edited) The legal situation is actually quite bad for me. I've seen a solicitor about it. I can't get an annulment because you need a very specific situation for that. Not consumating the marriage for example, or being married to someone else already. I can't get a divorce until a year has passed, under any circumstances. It doesn't really matter what happens in the next 6 months, even if we try to reconcile and she moves back in. As long as she is out before the 6 month mark then I can still use the affair as grounds. The house, I am pretty much screwed if she decides to get nasty. I owned it for 5 years before I met her. The deeds are in my sole name, and so is the mortgage, and every penny has been paid from my sole bank account. She was the one who cheated, and she is the one who's moved out. But none of that matters one bit. She could pursue me in court to keep the house and it is the judge who will decide, based not on who paid what or did what, but on requirements. I am doubly grateful not to have kids now, because in court she would almost certainly get the house. It's unlikely I'll have to move out (she has proved she is not reliant on living here), but she could be awarded half (or more) of the house's value, in which case I'd have to buy her out. That would cost me about £30k. I'm also legally not allowed to deny her access to the house, for example by changing the locks. Since it is considered our matrimonial home, we are both allowed full access until the divorce is completed. She could even be awarded the car in court, even though I paid for it (before we married) and it's in my name, because she needs it for travel to work. So, it is definitely in my interests to keep her sweet. I'm going to maintain an image of wanting to stay friendly with her, until the divorce comes through. After that, all bets are off. It will be a tough 6 months or so. Edited July 26, 2010 by cookie2
karnak Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Now I know there is definitely a possibility that nothing is going on. She's always been flirty but has always been faithful to me and whenever infidelity has been discussed (her boss's wife had an affair) she's always disapproving and says she would talk to me and sort out our problems before doing anything like that. She's been upset a lot lately and in tears saying that she wants us to work out. But... I also know it could just be a smokescreen, or she could feel different when it actually is her involved. ARRRRRGHHHHHHH The lies! The Lies! Why do they have to lie? Why do this people always claim they would never cheat and that cheating is so awful and terrible, bla bla bla ?? As time passes I'm more and more convinced that cheaters always were and always shall be the same... they just cleverly disguise themselves under a facade of righteousness and morality. I don't like what I'm gonna write now: but I'm starting to suspect that most cheaters (90% probably) are a sort of emotional psychopats. They're not evil...just sick.
stace79 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 The legal situation is actually quite bad for me. I've seen a solicitor about it. I can't get an annulment because you need a very specific situation for that. Not consumating the marriage for example, or being married to someone else already. I can't get a divorce until a year has passed, under any circumstances. It doesn't really matter what happens in the next 6 months, even if we try to reconcile and she moves back in. As long as she is out before the 6 month mark then I can still use the affair as grounds. The house, I am pretty much screwed if she decides to get nasty. I owned it for 5 years before I met her. The deeds are in my sole name, and so is the mortgage, and every penny has been paid from my sole bank account. She was the one who cheated, and she is the one who's moved out. But none of that matters one bit. She could pursue me in court to keep the house and it is the judge who will decide, based not on who paid what or did what, but on requirements. I am doubly grateful not to have kids now, because in court she would almost certainly get the house. It's unlikely I'll have to move out (she has proved she is not reliant on living here), but she could be awarded half (or more) of the house's value, in which case I'd have to buy her out. That would cost me about £30k. I'm also legally not allowed to deny her access to the house, for example by changing the locks. Since it is considered our matrimonial home, we are both allowed full access until the divorce is completed. She could even be awarded the car in court, even though I paid for it (before we married) and it's in my name, because she needs it for travel to work. So, it is definitely in my interests to keep her sweet. I'm going to maintain an image of wanting to stay friendly with her, until the divorce comes through. After that, all bets are off. It will be a tough 6 months or so. Man, in what country do you live, so I know never to move there?!?
Author cookie2 Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 Yep karnak I think you're right. It's all just a smokescreen. I live in the UK
collegeguy_24 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 No offense meant man, but when it comes to marriage law, the UK is so backwards and ****ed up it is borderline ridiculous.
U2RockZz Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 did u really meet the lawyer...if you own the house before M and paying mortgage from your money...she certainly doesn't have any claim to it.....if you have kids,then situation might be different......again iam not lawyer but my father is.....but check it again.....even if the situation is like that....you give her the home ask her for the money....assuming you have not paid the £30k on mortgage yet....you will be loan free and with some extra profit....
linwood Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Dude.. She is sooooo going to bang the guy she has been sexting with and it will be this weekend when she stays there. This...yes.
linwood Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I have to start reading the whole thread before answering. Sorry. Well handled cookie. That sucks about the house. It just isn`t fair to consider what you brought into the marriage hers. I`m going to have to check my states laws regarding that.
Author cookie2 Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 did u really meet the lawyer... Err yep Solicitor we call them over here. if you own the house before M and paying mortgage from your money...she certainly doesn't have any claim to it..... Thats not true for the UK. Check it out: http://www.terry.co.uk/ancillary_relief.html you give her the home ask her for the money....assuming you have not paid the £30k on mortgage yet....you will be loan free and with some extra profit.... The house is worth £150k with £90k mortgage, therefore £60k is owned by me. The court could say we both have a 50% share of the house since it was our matrimonial home. So if she is wants to keep it then yes, she'll have to give me my half which is £30k. I'll have £30k in my bank instead of £60k in property assets. I'll be £30k down. And no problem linwood - always helpful to desensitize me to what happened
U2RockZz Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 did you meet them or did you read there.....that web site is a s*** ,their security firewall seems to be dated 5-7yrs back.... i don't know how it works in UK but...meet the lawyer explain what you wanted to give what you don't want to give....again it depends on jury or judge(whatever you call him)...meet 2 or 3 lawyers until you get a right one.....
Author cookie2 Posted July 27, 2010 Author Posted July 27, 2010 I met a local solicitor, not the same company as that website, thats just something I found to post. She told me all the same info as on that website. Not quite sure how you know their firewall dates back 5-7 years? Thats a bit off topic for the thread though, could you PM me how you know that please?
Woggle Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I would lawyer up and get your legal ducks in a row so you at least are prepared for when you file. There has to be a pitbull lawyer in the UK who can get you out of this situation somewhat intact. If you have to stay in the house with her then get a seperate room and pretty treat her as a roomate.
U2RockZz Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 off topic.....if a site can be cracked with "SQL injection".....then i don't think they have any fire walls at all ......
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 (edited) off topic.....if a site can be cracked with "SQL injection".....then i don't think they have any fire walls at all ...... Firewalls don't prevent web hacking like that... If you design your scripts and applications with care, SQL injection attacks can be avoided most of the time. also doing all the routine things.. like limiting user access.. those kinds of things limits the web hacking like SQL injections.. About the only thing a firewall could do would be if it firewalled out all the ports for SQL and didn't even allow that traffic thru it's interfaces.. well.. there are a few checks that it can do but those have to do with people who would SQL inject also run with spoofed ip's But I digress.. all this is OFF TOPIC and WTF are you talking about hacking a website for on this guys thread.. Sorry OP for the T/J and sorry about the way it has gone for you but you seem to have your head screwed on properly and have spoken to the right people.. Edited July 27, 2010 by Art_Critic
Author cookie2 Posted July 27, 2010 Author Posted July 27, 2010 Indeed a firewall has nothing to do with SQL injection. And you can't do a SQL injection on static HTML pages anyway, where's the SQL database? What query are you going to inject? Also off topic... doesn't this forum have PM's? I can't find them anywhere. Anyway yeah I think I do have my head screwed on... I know what needs to be done... just doing it mght not be so easy (is it ever?!)... but thats a topic for the Coping forum
Dexter Morgan Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Also off topic... doesn't this forum have PM's? I can't find them anywhere. you hve to wait a while before they'll allow you to have access to PM's
Binster Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Sorry mate I had a feeling that this would be the case with the house, didnt know about the car though. Start puting money on one side maybe with a relative or a tin in the loft. See about selling or changing the car and puting the money on one side.
Binster Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Check out where you stand with respect of any pensions savings or shares you have. She can probably claim on all of them. Keep a diary of rows talks or any unreasonable behaviour on her part. Dont get drunk abusive or violent this can and will be used against you. Contact any U.K mens group on the internet for advice, start now do not wait till the six months are up. Keep any copys of Emails use a keylogger or anything you think its apropriate. Try for a femaile solicitor. Get plenty of vaselene your probably going to get right royaly reamed.
U2RockZz Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Firewalls don't prevent web hacking like that... If you design your scripts and applications with care, SQL injection attacks can be avoided most of the time. also doing all the routine things.. like limiting user access.. those kinds of things limits the web hacking like SQL injections.. About the only thing a firewall could do would be if it firewalled out all the ports for SQL and didn't even allow that traffic thru it's interfaces.. well.. there are a few checks that it can do but those have to do with people who would SQL inject also run with spoofed ip's But I digress.. all this is OFF TOPIC and WTF are you talking about hacking a website for on this guys thread.. Sorry OP for the T/J and sorry about the way it has gone for you but you seem to have your head screwed on properly and have spoken to the right people.. again sorry off topic: i can't stand if some body insults my intelligence.....SQL injection or Perl exploitation can be done any website....except for the web sites which are powered by some software ....which secures our log in ids which are beyond reach of perl and sql exploitation.....like converting our Pws into MD5 string which is not easy to crack and many more....again with the combination of some tools and sql injection you can still crack it....but it's not easy..... if any body wants discuss more on it ,you can PM me ....let us just get back to the topic......
Author cookie2 Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 again sorry off topic: i can't stand if some body insults my intelligence.....SQL injection or Perl exploitation can be done any website....except for the web sites which are powered by some software ....which secures our log in ids which are beyond reach of perl and sql exploitation.....like converting our Pws into MD5 string which is not easy to crack and many more....again with the combination of some tools and sql injection you can still crack it....but it's not easy..... I would PM you but I can't (yet). Nobody is insulting your intelligence. Just your knowledge, which is sorely lacking. It seems like you just strung a load of jargon together. Do you even know what SQL is, let alone SQL injection? Have you ever tried to do it, or created a website that is immune to it? Clue: it has absolutely nothing to do with MD5 or any other encryption algorithm. How can you use SQL injection on a plain HTML page? If I gave you an HTML page on my web server could you hack it for me? I write web pages for a living btw Binster good advice. Don't have any pensions or shares or any other investments really. We're both behaving well to each other. She's moved out so I can't snoop on her any more. And all the family law specialists at my local solicitors are female
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