jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Dear ****, Making contact again, guess I will never learn. I saw your face on facebook when I went to delete my account. You looked so pretty, and confident. Most of all your looked happy. That hurt the most. So I am writing you a letter. A letter to let you know that I see through all this "space" garbage, I see what is really happening. I see you don't love me anymore, I see that you think you are being mature but you are really just a child. It saddens me that I was so blinded by what I thought we had. Every time you say you are confident now, it makes me feel that I was holding you back. It is as if you are saying, now I am confident I can do better than you. All I can say is that totally undermines all the help I gave you with your anxiety and fears throughout the years, the counselling I paid for and the support I gave you. The times I wiped your tears while you were sick with fear over university. Please don't keep talking about opportunities with work! Because I never stood in your way, I helped you prepare for interviews, I helped with your job applications, I drove you to the airport for your work trip. Jesus I paid for all your rent through your degree so you could get this job, even letting you quit part-time work do you could focus on your study. I paid for it all, and every time you said when you get work we can start going out and having holidays.......... So you are being more social now? With the people you work with, the people you were ALREADY being social with. That isn't being anymore social than you were, I was always happy for that. I never, ever, ever stood in your way. I love how you and your sister are best mates now, despite the fact that for the two weeks before you dumped me, you would call me at work because she had taken your computer, your perfume, your clothes and you wanted me to do something about it. But now she is your best friend. And despite being a manipulative lying little bitch, she has a brand new job at your work which you got for her. Wow I love how you want to travel, so did I. But I got in debt because you couldn't pay rent, or for your gym, or for your phone, or for the $2,000.00 I spent on your 21st. Meanwhile you had two holidays to Queensland. And one to the snow. Still you were getting angry that we weren't having enough Holidays. Still you told your parents and everyone who would ****ing listen how tough you have done and the all spoke about how proud they are of you. I realise now that you were making me counsel you through the decision. I had to make you feel better before you could crush me like an ant. I helped you to move back home, paid for your new bed, so you could save. All the while thinking that we still had a future. I remember at New Years you getting tips on how to pick up boys in Russian and saying you might need to use this soon. I remember you planning to go to a festival on NYD but not telling me. When I found out you said "don't get weird about it." I remember when you workmate left you got irrationally upset about it. I remember how you said that you get upset when they don't get to go out with them. I know now it isn't about being social, you want their rich private school boy life much more than you want anything to do with me. I remember the weekend you were away and you updated Facebook about the goss you had for your friend, the fun you are having. Meanwhile you didn't text me at all. Apart from a "You need to get rid of my concert ticket". I remember you freaking out about if we took a break that I would have all the friends and you would have none. Well aint that garbage, I am here alone at my sisters. I have few friends, no car (you got that too), no home, and no money because I spent it all on you. What a fool I have been. I love how you had breakdown so I comforted you, but when you dumped me you said "it was never going to be easy". Then proceeded to tell me how great you are now at work etc etc etc and how you told your work mates well before you told me. I missed my chance to travel OS because of you. I am not rich like you will become from this new job. It isn't about space, or opportunities or anything else. Because I gave you so many freaking opportunities. It is because you don't want to be with me anymore. I am now deeply broke and stuck, while you get what you always wanted and always greatly accepted my help to achieve. So treat me with some ****ing respect and stop lying. Oh, and if you are so ****ing confident now then get of your arse and bring my stuff back to my sisters. oh, you can't can you because you said you are "scared" of what they will say. Grow up
TaraMaiden Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Nice. I wish you could send it. I wish she could read this. I wish she did know how you feel. But I know, you know, we all know. It wouldn't be a good idea. So all I can do is wish you well. And wish you the strength to hold your head high and move on. You are so much better than this.
Author jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks, it is really tough. But we will see
A Hot Mess Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Fantastic. The ol' "You helped me, you supported me, you were always there for me, you built me up, you made me who I am today, and now I'm going to tear your f**king heart out, eat it in front of you, and leave you here destroyed and alone, while I go find someone better suited to my new level" relationship. Those are the best. Take a look at where both of you were when you started the relationship, and compare it to where the both of you are now. She likely has thought "look at all the progress and growth I've made, while he's still the same guy, doing the same thing." But really, all your time, energy, and effort was spent repairing her broken ass. When were you supposed to be working on yourself? And how much effort did she put towards building you up, instilling confidence, and inspiring you to be a better man? Probably not a lot. You're likely way better off without her.
Author jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Yeah, I mean she loved me and she always said she wanted the best for me, but man let me tell you a story. in 2008 I went to do a postgrad course in teaching. It took five days a week, and I worked weekends. I got some money to do but stupidly I bought her an SLR camera with it (idiot,idiot,idiot) because at that point she was loving photography and getting really good at it. So end of the year comes, and I get a job to start next year as teacher, but we have no money. So over the summer holidays I work full time in a call centre to support us while at the same time visiting the hospital to see my mother who was dying of cancer. Then I start at my new job. Not once did she offer to get some more part time work to share the load, she instead would get agitated because such work was not in her "career" area. Well, call centres are not really in mine either, but you do what you have to do. Look she knew no better, and she honestly thinks she has held out as long as she can and now has to "go for it", but i think it is totally neglectful of the suffering I too endured and the opportunities I passed on. I think it is called maturity.
Author jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Yes, well that is another word that is apt too!
ResetReality Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 man, what a horrible story, hope your healing process isn't too rough you're better off without someone like that
Author jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks, It has been pretty rough. Have to make some big changes soon I think
DustySaltus Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Jond, i'm sorry man. You really deserve so much better. This was a blessing in disguise for you, I guarantee it. I know you're hurting, just don't send this letter at a point of weakness. I'm pulling for you.
Author jond77 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks for the support, it is appreciated. She works in communications (PR really) and is off OS for work this week. She emailed me to tell me that she will email me photos! Really? I mean would I want photos of the "opportunity" you dumped me for?? I didn't respond
SadKitty78 Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Thanks for the support, it is appreciated. She works in communications (PR really) and is off OS for work this week. She emailed me to tell me that she will email me photos! Really? I mean would I want photos of the "opportunity" you dumped me for?? I didn't respond Wow, just wow! I know you've been told this before, and I'm not sure it will help, but YOU ARE SO MUCH BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER! Look, this isn't really a maturity issue, it's a character issue! She is selfish, like another poster wrote, SELFISH, ungrateful, a user! Yes, please don't respond. You are moving on with your life and you could care less about her stupid photographs!
Author jond77 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 Yeah. I am hoping I will be better off in time. Emotionally and mentally I need to heal.
Author jond77 Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 She said today this week that she can drop my stiff off, but I freaked out about seeing her. So i said maybe her parents can drop it off. She then said she can drop it off when she gets back from her work trip. I can't work out why she insists on doing it herself, I mean she knows I am in a bad way so can't we just leave it?
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