MandyConners Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 This is my story. Back in May, things started taking a turn w/ my livein bf. I got to where I just couldn't even stand being in the room with him. We were fighting a lot more, and quite often moving out came up...He said that he would start looking and we'd continue dating, just not live together. That's where I thought things were at. His behavior started changing around this time. He often would spend a weekend night at a friend of his house, spending the night so he didn't drive drunk. He would usually show up Sunday afternoon...Then one weekend he didn't even come home Sunday night, just showed up after work on Monday...No phone call, which was unusual...I have to interject something here, do to his clinginess I often would not answer the phone when he called...I went ballistic on him when he did this, so the following week he behaved. But by the next, we were fighting and he went to his friends house all weekend again, but called...We pretty much ignored each other that entire week at the house, then he started just staying at his friends house and telling me he was looking for a place to live... Around the end of June, he emailed me saying he needed to stay at "home" that night, that he would be really quiet and not disturb me. I asked him not to because I had to work on something for work that evening. So, he comes there and immediately starts badgering me and I got so pissed I told him to get the f out..(I own the house) He left, and we didn't talk for about a week...A week later (about the end of June) he emails me he found a place to live...So, I started chatting up a storm with him again, cause I was relieved that our problem was solved "living together" and we could go on...During this I mentioned that I might see him Sunday at his music venue...He then replied, no this would be uncomfortable. You have to understand I thought both of us were done with the relationship. He then tells me there's someone he's thinking about asking out on a date, but hasn't yet...I was like okay, well then things are over and was fine with it... The next day, a friend of mine emails me saying I needed to check something out on his band page. I go there and there's a woman there saying she can't wait to see him play this weekend and had kisses right after it...I then look at his band pictures and there's comments this girl was making all the way back from May, before he had left and stayed with his friend...I see pictures that she was at a party he was at in May too... I was livid...So, I email him and ask him if he had something going on behind my back...He says no, swears he doesn't know who is making the comments, tells me I'm trippn for making these assertations, says a friend of his said someone was stalking him on his band page, and that he saw the picture of the girl and she's dog faced ugly and wouldn't date her. He then says that the person he is thinking of dating is not this same person. Like a dumbass, I believed him...Add on, this girl is terribly unattractive so I could not see him really dating her. But then I log on to his facebook page and this girl has sent him a friend invite. I accept it, go to his page and she's got a comment on there about seeing him...So, I leave him some damn nasty messages. Then I email her under his account asking who the f she is and a bunch of other niceness. He calls me up the next day real irate asking me why the hell I did that to him, and says even then that he barely knows that person. For a week straight he tells me this... She then sends me a facebook friend invite and I chat with her. She tells me that she met him two weeks ago and they have feelings for each other, but she wont' get involved with him till he resolves stuff with me. (At this time, he hadn't even picked his stuff up yet)...She tells me they really weren't seeing each other just been going out with a group of people...Before this all came to light, I was fine with him saying things were over...Soon as I learned about all of this, I became a bunch of emotions. Sad, angry, wanting him back just to spite her, in disbelief that he'd prefer something he barely knew of someone he claims to have been the love of his life...He comes and picks his stuff up, and I'm okay with that except for a small tear session...We had a good talk and just decided to part as friends and stuff. I was okay then again... Then he kisses me goodbye, and calls me up saying honey and all this stuff, and how he wants to keep in contact and see my son and he'll be here for me anytime I need to talk...I decided though just to put some space in between us...The next day he emails me asking how things are...I told him my Dad was rushed to the ER and it doesn't look good. He didn't respond to the email or anything. Then Monday he emails me asking me how my Dad was and I just lost it on him. I was like if you ****ing were so worried about it you'd of called my Mom over the weekend and not done a Monday morning email when you're bored. Then launched into him he's so stupid...You're just rebounding you idiot, how he's going to wind up paying child support for 18 years cause this girl is going to intentionally get pregnant (I can see that one coming she's homely, 33, wants kids), and how he didn't see how she sabotaged our relationship (which I highly suspect she did...I think she saw him at his friend's house, started hanging out and paying all kind of attention to him, etc)...And told him never to contact me again... I'm so hurt. It's not fair that I am sitting here upset and feeling betrayed and he's wrapped up in something new and probably happy...I have been trying like hell to let this go, but it keeps eating at me...I'm doing all the things you're supposed to, going out, calling people, working out like crazy, but I'm still feeling like I need to lash out at him and her...And I don't want to feel this way, just want to move on.
A Hot Mess Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Don't let it get to you. You know he's not right for you, and at one point you were more than fine with being done with it all. The only thing that's changed is that you now know he's moved on before you have. You don't feel hurt because you love him and want him back. You feel hurt because this is a blow to your ego. You should be the one that moved on first, right?
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