lullaby Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Ok, I've made a decision. I'll break NC and call him. You will tell me not to, that's not the right thing to do, but hey!! wait! I won't contact him to get back. No no, not at all! That's the least thing I want to right now and it's the f***ing truth because I can't be with someone who put me through so much misery these past months. Hell no!!!! I'm ready to move on, I'm flirting with a guy at work, I'm meeting new people, I'm going out, have already worked on me and gained back my confidence. But you know what? I never said a thing to him after the break up. I gave him space, everything he needed. I was available whenever he wanted, to talk, to have a coffee, and out of fear I never spoke my mind, didn't even say what I felt, NOTHING! I won't pick up a fight, it's just that I have a huge bag and need to get rid of the last s*** I have inside to be finally free and start living again. I wasn't a fling, an adventure, someone you can just call off. I was someone who gave him my all. I bought all his BS, his kind stupid words and the I'm different, I won't hurt you crap! For what? For someone who didn't even give me an explanation? A f***ing answer? Someone who didn't even let me speak my mind about it? Oh no!!!! Life goes on!! Yes, I may have my ups and downs and I know there will be days when I think I can't live without him, of course, but I won't sit around waiting for him! If time joins us again, well, time will tell, but I need my closure and need it for myself. I realized I can't do it alone, without having a proper goodbye. I know he'll reach to me at some point, I know his method and I don't want to wait for that moment to come. So yes, I'll ask him to meet me. I need to have one last conversation to finish with it all. I also know I may regret it all, I may crumble again, sure, but I honestly don't think I will.
welikeincrowds Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I don't understand. You want to give him a piece of your mind? Didn't you say you already gave him so much? Why would you want to give him anything more? Why not just write a letter? Without sending it, of course. Writing a coherent statement forces you to clarify all of your thoughts and feelings. You'd get all the satisfaction of release and processing your emotions without even getting him involved. I mean I guess there's always the fantasy of him hearing your message and then having him realize exactly how he has hurt you and apologizing for everything he's done, but we all have that fantasy don't we? I'm not convinced by the line that "you can't do it alone." Your feelings are yours, you're the only one who can give yourself happiness. But also, you mentioned all the people in your life already who can help you with that. He can't and apparently won't. Don't bother with him!
smk Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Ok, I've made a decision. I'll break NC and call him. You will tell me not to, that's not the right thing to do, but hey!! wait! I won't contact him to get back. No no, not at all! That's the least thing I want to right now and it's the f***ing truth because I can't be with someone who put me through so much misery these past months. Hell no!!!! I'm ready to move on, I'm flirting with a guy at work, I'm meeting new people, I'm going out, have already worked on me and gained back my confidence. But you know what? I never said a thing to him after the break up. I gave him space, everything he needed. I was available whenever he wanted, to talk, to have a coffee, and out of fear I never spoke my mind, didn't even say what I felt, NOTHING! I won't pick up a fight, it's just that I have a huge bag and need to get rid of the last s*** I have inside to be finally free and start living again. I wasn't a fling, an adventure, someone you can just call off. I was someone who gave him my all. I bought all his BS, his kind stupid words and the I'm different, I won't hurt you crap! For what? For someone who didn't even give me an explanation? A f***ing answer? Someone who didn't even let me speak my mind about it? Oh no!!!! Life goes on!! Yes, I may have my ups and downs and I know there will be days when I think I can't live without him, of course, but I won't sit around waiting for him! If time joins us again, well, time will tell, but I need my closure and need it for myself. I realized I can't do it alone, without having a proper goodbye. I know he'll reach to me at some point, I know his method and I don't want to wait for that moment to come. So yes, I'll ask him to meet me. I need to have one last conversation to finish with it all. I also know I may regret it all, I may crumble again, sure, but I honestly don't think I will. lullaby - the decision is yours to make and only you can choose whether you want to call him or not however heres my 2 cents worth... after a break up i realised that there are so many things I wished I had said, i have replayed every conversation in my mind, and have even thought about breaking NC (granted I am only on day 9 at the moment) but after taking tons of advice from people and realising things for myself I have now figured out that no matter what they still left us and not the other way around.. I keep on trying to convince myself that by having that one last conversation I will get closure, but the truth of the fact still remains that she left me... you seem to be doing really well and do you really want to go back to that place where you crumble and have to pick up the pieces all over again??? you said it yourself that you may crumble - do you really want to have to deal with the emotional roller coaster again? I still battle my wits everytime day having this same talk.... yesterday she broke and NC and sent me a random txt msg (by mistake i think) and it took back to day one of the break up 6 weeks ago... I didnt respond to the msg but I know what that one little inconspicuous msg did to me - it brought back all the panic, the anxiety, broke my self esteem, and the rollercoaster started all over again... As I said the decision is yours to make, I know for a fact that there is not a single one of us here who does not want to have that last conversation and say our piece (maybe subconsciously we think it will give us the upper hand, maybe we think it may make them realise the mistake they made, who knows maybe we just want plain and simple closure - but the truth of the matter will still be the same - it could lead us back on that downward spiral).... in my opinion its not worth it... I say its the end of a chapter, and turn the page and begin the next chapter in this book we call life...
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