luvstarved Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 This means nothing in the scheme of things but is a curiosity and mild disagreement with my H. I know that everyone occasionally gets facebook friend requests from people they don't know, penis enlargement mails, and occasional dating site mails... What we disagree on is what causes a sudden extreme spike in such emails...he complained to me today (as a way of "proving" his online activities are innocent), that suddenly and for no reason, instead of getting such mails a few times a day, it seems he is getting them every 15 or so minutes! He SWEARS that he has done absolutely nothing to spur this... I believe he has not been looking at porn per se, because I can check history. But he has been trawling a lot on facebook at women he knows, doesn't know, and including some of those who invite you to look at their new pics (he has a male friend who has a LOT of these women on his friends list, and he went to that friends list and looked around). He denied looking at anything but "old chums" but the history says otherwise. THis has nothing to do with the right or wrong of any of that, just that it is my opinion that this sudden spike is directly related in some way to SOMETHING he has done, and possibly clicking on certain facebook profiles... The spike has been in adult dating, MILFs, Russian women, playboy, meet for sex mails, blah blah blah...it is now just one after the other. I don't know what else could have spurred this but I don't believe that it just starts happening for no reason, and he swears that it must have...but of course he denies going to any stranger FB profiles... I am not a guy though and maybe this just happens to anyone with a male sounding name... Any of you guys noticed these spikes...with/without anything to solicit them? Is it likely FB or could something else cause this, or does it happen eventually anyway...?
carhill Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 If he's on a Wintel computer (Windows), I've heard a lot of reports of infected ads on forums and certain other web sites. I imagine facebook gets their fair share, since the ads are served up remotely. That's one explanation. Is the spam global or focused on only one e-mail address? He might want to run a scan of his computer with the latest iteration of whatever virus/trojan/worm program you use.... Also, my domain (business web site) e-mails get deluged with spam e-mails for that kind of stuff. Doesn't matter 'who' is assigned the account. Stbx got as much stuff as I did. So did her mom and our cat Yahoo is real good about filtering out that stuff. I rarely see it in my Yahoo account, which I've had for 14 years now. It's the signup account for hudreds of web sites, forums and social networking sites like FB. No issues.
konfuzd Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 There are so many people out there trying to spread this Spam in so many different ways, it's hard to pinpoint. Maybe someone on his contact list got their computer hacked, and his address got sold to these type of sites, maybe he clicked on an ad for something innocent, or accedentally clicked an ad that pops up. I don't think in any way this should raise suspicions about your husbands internet use. I'm constantly getting e-mails for viagra, penile enlargement etc... and I have a very feminine name.
just_some_guy Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Trawling around on Facebook is fraught with peril that way. I get FB "friend requests" from absolutely fake "people". Usually a photo of a hot looking chick and a suggestive come on, or the invite is worded to look like it was sent to a mistaken address. All it really is some kind of online porn-slinger trolling for rubes. Funny thing is, every time I get one, they already have racked up a lot of stupid guys that fall for it in their friend list. So if hubby is falling for, or has fallen for such a dumb stunt, his email address has been harvested, burned to CD-ROM and is being circulated around all the internet porn slingers in Russia. Tell hubby to change his email address and engage the spam filter and stop falling for the email-address harvesting stunts on FB and other sites.
What_Next Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Here's a thought, get the heck off of facebook and go outside. I know this isn't what you asked for in your post but it needs to be said. Time and time again I read about FB on LS. It's impact on marriages, it's contribution to divorces and broken families. It is a bloody scourge on society. I heard today on the radio that they have hit 500,000,000 users. What a sad statement on our society. Read a book, go out for a walk together, have a picnic, walk your dog, do a jigsaw puzzle, for heaven's sake and put the bloody mouse down. I apologize for my rant, but I am honestly tired of reading how FB and other SILLY social networking websites are impacting our lives.
WalkingOnEggs Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 There is no correlation to the kind of sites he goes to and the kind of spam he gets. None. All it takes is for your email address to appear on some ad, or that you used it to sign up for a perfectly innocent and legit site and somebody will sell that address to a spammer. I get for no reason hundreds of these at a time and have to keep recycling my emails. I noticed a huge spike right after ordering a computer component online.
stuckinoz Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 There is no correlation to the kind of sites he goes to and the kind of spam he gets. That's weird. Because 6 months ago I never surfed about pregnancy or babies. Never got any spam on the subject. I am going to be a grandma in about 2 months so I have been surfing on those subjects & LO & BEHOLD....Now I get mega spam on the subject. Same as getting ads on the sidebar of Facebook - HEY, 48 year old women choose this......How odd is that? I am 48 & I like & search the topic someone is trying to sell. Yes 100% the amount of searches & topic of spam you get is in specific correlation with what you are searching for online. The internet is a much smarter 'being' than most of us give it credit for
carhill Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I am going to be a grandma in about 2 months so I have been surfing on those subjects & LO & BEHOLD....Now I get mega spam on the subject. If you have a Google account, that's them tracking you by your e-mail. Also, search engines you use can grab your e-mail via javascript and direct targeted 'offers'. It's all part of the 'free' internet...
WalkingOnEggs Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 That's weird. Because 6 months ago I never surfed about pregnancy or babies. Never got any spam on the subject. I am going to be a grandma in about 2 months so I have been surfing on those subjects & LO & BEHOLD....Now I get mega spam on the subject. Same as getting ads on the sidebar of Facebook - HEY, 48 year old women choose this......How odd is that? I am 48 & I like & search the topic someone is trying to sell. Yes 100% the amount of searches & topic of spam you get is in specific correlation with what you are searching for online. The internet is a much smarter 'being' than most of us give it credit for Your computer is infected with spyware. There is no way a website will be able to get your email address unless you supply it with one.
young&inlove Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 My computer did the same thing! I believe the best fee software out there to get rid of the "demon" is called [COLOR=#800080]Malwarebytes[/COLOR]. My hubby used this on my comp and it cleaned it up right away! And with the email, tell him that one is toast and to use it as a junk email. Get a new one, try Gmail. I have liked it so far.
Scrybe Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I know all about porn. Call me an expert! If you visit lots of sites you WILL get an increase in that kind of spam. BUT that was more true a few years ago when many sites asked for your email address even to view "free" material. I don't look at the stuff much and have changed my email address and so I don't get much spam but randomly I do get spikes of it. The bottom line is that the sudden spike isn't proof that he's doing anything wrong but it's likely and indication that he's been visiting sites he shouldn't. And when I say "sites that he shouldn't" I don't just mean porn. It could be sites off the beaten path that draw male viewers like sports, electronics, gaming, etc.
MR2U Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 one observation and one piece of advise: Observation: sometimes the 'harder' sites start pinging if u glance across the 'gateway' sites. Advice: Its hard to stay of late on the internet getting closer to sites u shouldn't be on if you have an eager PURSUING wife that wants to go to bed at 8:30 well before bed time for two weeks straight. Clears the mind very well.
Author luvstarved Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 MR2U, you obviously aren't familiar with the main issue that brought me to LS. My H prefers to conduct his sex life in fantasyland! Thanks for all responses. Like I said I didn't see any specific hinky sites that would have caused this, it seemed to spike wildly right after he spent 3 hours trawling facebook looking at various women's profiles, but none really "pornographic". I believe facebook might be sophisticated enough to detect trawling behavior, even when it is friends, friends of friends, on and on, and not these random babes and was wondering about it. So that guys who spend a lot of time visiting female pages...following friend "trees" etc could be targeted for "naughty" emails. I am a software engineer so I have a decent idea of how this could be accomplished but was looking for some empirical data that this might be going on...I might just try a planned path through FB and see if I start getting them...not sure if it will work since I am listed as female, will see if I get gay stuff! Or maybe peruse beefcake pages (if there are any that aren't targeted to gays!) He doesn't even read the mails so I'm not cranked about that in particular...it was just a curiosity as to potential causes. What_Next, I agree FB can be a facilitator of bad behavior but not so much a cause. Since going on, my H has been checking out people, old GFs, etc that he never seemed to give a thought to before. But, there was porn in our sexless phase, then I think he's used various real women he encountered to fuel his fantasies in our minimally sexful phases, and then came FB. I know that he would never go into a store and buy a racy magazine (too pious for that!) but, he's gonna find something to get him going so not sure how much of a difference it makes. I have enjoyed catching up with long lost friends on FB but I do know some for whom it has become a central part of their day. I do agree that it's not real life, and not a very good substitute...
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