bentnotbroken Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Why would the MOW's adult son and parents-in-law knowing about the affair prevent her from continuing it? The only thing that would prevent her would be Sid's husband not wanting to participate any longer in my opinion. I don't recall saying that them knowing would prevent her from continuing. :confused:but if it gives one them a reason to back away...:bunny::bunny::bunny:more power to Sid.
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Oh, for a moment I thought you were another screen name for Sid. You seemed to know her story better than she does herself. Won't Sid be surprised when she wakes up and gets online. <gihetherWOmenhether she spelled it out in so many words, or not, that's still how it looks to me. I guess it's sort of like when you intuitively know what's going on with your MM's W and their relationship. <shrug>
silverfish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Why would the MOW's adult son and parents-in-law knowing about the affair prevent her from continuing it? The only thing that would prevent her would be Sid's husband not wanting to participate any longer in my opinion. I understood, from reading what Sid wrote, that her H didn't want to continue the affair and had ended it some time before the unwanted contact. Surely there are many other reasons than the MM not wanting to continue it to make an OW decide to end an affair. SL already said that there is a paternity issue with the one of the kids, which is one of the reasons for telling the adult son.
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 It is not that easy if you are in love with a man. Maybe she needed closure from Sid's husband to be able to end the affair once and for all, to hear from him that he wasn't interested in rekindling the affair. I understand what you are saying. That is a possibility.
Mimolicious Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Maybe we can become friends yet, Mimo , even if we have different views on many things. I think perhaps both of us have experienced some of the harsher sides of life, and still come out on the other side of it. :laugh: And maybe you can help me rip my abs like yours on that avatar pic.:p Yes we have my friend, yes we have. We all take life so serious yet none make it out alive. When we are 85 and about to sign off, we can look back and laugh at it. (or make out with our Senior Home lover. ahahahha!)
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Won't Sid be surprised when she wakes up and gets online. <gihetherWOmenhether she spelled it out in so many words, or not, that's still how it looks to me. I guess it's sort of like when you intuitively know what's going on with your MM's W and their relationship. <shrug> To clarify, I don't mean that in a catty or mean way. Sometimes you can listen, or in this case, read and pick up things that are not specifically spelled out or directly stated. I got all the facts of Sid's story correct, and expressed my interpretation of it. I believe my take on it is a logical one.
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Won't Sid be surprised when she wakes up and gets online. <gihetherWOmenhether she spelled it out in so many words, or not, that's still how it looks to me. What I reacted to was that it took you a long time to say anything like "That's how it looks to me". The way you were posting it sounded like you knew the facts. I guess it's sort of like when you intuitively know what's going on with your MM's W and their relationship. <shrug> Where did I ever post that I "intuitively know what's going on" with my MM's W and their relationship? My MM and I have talked for hours each day for five years now. We are in a sexual relationship and spend a lot of time together. You have read some posts of Sid on an internet forum since you joined 2 months ago, and you compare that?
SidLyon Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) It is not that easy if you are in love with a man. Maybe she needed closure from Sid's husband to be able to end the affair once and for all, to hear from him that he wasn't interested in rekindling the affair. She had already heard all of that from my H. His e-mails to her said "I love Sid and will not be contacting you again. Please do not contact me again". He sent 2 e-mails like this because she did actually contact him after the first, on the pretext of establishing that the first e-mail came form him not me. So he sent her a second NC e-mail a few days later (November 2008 by then). I agree with you Jennie that she must have loved him (that is what her e-mails said), but she had already heard from him more than once that their A was over. I actually understand that she may have contacted him just to make sure, and was willing to take the risk of further exposure. Maybe she thought I was bluffing because on the occasion I let her know that I would tell her son; I also told her that I hoped she wouldn't put me in that position because I really didn't want to let her son know of the A because I realised how devastated he was at his father's death. She is almost certainly a risk-taker. On the one occasion we met she continually reiterated that I was obviously a very kind and caring person (I am). I think she was relying on that in contacting my H again. I also have kids so I know about following through with "promises". I never promise consequences that I am not willing to follow through with. You seem to have a bee in your bonnet Jennie, about other posters you suspect of being me. It looks a little paranoid but really is the pot calling the kettle black isn't it? Edited July 25, 2010 by SidLyon
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 To clarify, I don't mean that in a catty or mean way. Sometimes you can listen, or in this case, read and pick up things that are not specifically spelled out or directly stated. I got all the facts of Sid's story correct, and expressed my interpretation of it. I believe my take on it is a logical one. So you filled in the blanks with your interpretation then. Of course with the slant of agreeing with her approach and yes, the OW must be a stalker.
SidLyon Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Won't Sid be surprised when she wakes up and gets online. ... <shrug> Just read this. This thread was never initiated by me and I'm not asking for guidance right now. My infidelity issues are really getting more resolved each day. The boy's paternity is outstanding but won't be followed up until he's older. Are we still on topic with the moral indignation? I think so but probably not the way the OP intended it.
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 (edited) What I reacted to was that it took you a long time to say anything like "That's how it looks to me". The way you were posting it sounded like you knew the facts. Where did I ever post that I "intuitively know what's going on" with my MM's W and their relationship? My MM and I have talked for hours each day for five years now. We are in a sexual relationship and spend a lot of time together. You have read some posts of Sid on an internet forum since you joined 2 months ago, and you compare that? This is not a court case going to trial. This is, after all, an "opinion" board, is it not? Everything everyone posts here is their opinion. Who cares how long it took me to state the obvious - that it is my opinion. After reading all of Sid's posts, I believe she stated that she made the threat to make the woman back off. When the woman contacted her H again, she simply made good on what she said she would do. That seemed very transparent to me. It is your option to hold a different opinion. Edited July 25, 2010 by Fieldsofgold
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 She had already heard all of that from my H. His e-mails to her said "I love Sid and will not be contacting you again. Please do not contact me again". He sent 2 e-mails like this because she did actually contact him after the first, on the pretext of establishing that the first e-mail came form him not me. So he sent her a second NC e-mail a few days later (November 2008 by then). I agree with you Jennie that she must have loved him (that is what her e-mails said), but she had already heard from him more than once that their A was over. I actually understand that she may have contacted him just to make sure, and was willing to take the risk of further exposure. Maybe she thought I was bluffing because on the occasion I let her know that I would tell her son; I also told her that I hoped she wouldn't put me in that position because I really didn't want to let her son know of the A because I realised how devastated he was at his father's death. She is almost certainly a risk-taker. On the one occasion we met she continually reiterated that I was obviously a very kind and caring person (I am). I think she was relying on that in contacting my H again. I also have kids so I know about following through with "promises". I never promise consequences that I am not willing to follow through with. You seem to have a bee in your bonnet Jennie, about other posters you suspect of being me. It looks a little paranoid but really is the pot calling the kettle black isn't it? I just so prefer to hear it from your own mouth than from somebody who seems to think she knows all about you. I know with my SO, one reason the exOW continued stalking him was because she played on his feelings of guilt for how their relationship once started. As long as she could manipulate him with that guilt, he did not really tell her off well enough to make her stay away. Once he did, she got the message. Don't you think that if you would have left it to your husband to make sure the affair ended, the MOW would have eventually stopped contacting him even without your intervention? Or were you afraid that if she kept at it that the affair would restart?
Mimolicious Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 WHY?? WHY?? WHY LORDY LORD... Do we have to argue about everything??? Can we just all get along? It's the weekend!!! *Cheers* I am seriously thinking of taking a break...
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 So you filled in the blanks with your interpretation then. Of course with the slant of agreeing with her approach and yes, the OW must be a stalker. Good Lord, Jennie, get a grip. This is not a legal issue, and I am not trying to pick a fight with you. I have a right to my opinion. And I never said the OW was a stalker. I never even hinted that the OW was a stalker. Don't put words in my mouth.
SidLyon Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 ... Don't you think that if you would have left it to your husband to make sure the affair ended, the MOW would have eventually stopped contacting him even without your intervention? Or were you afraid that if she kept at it that the affair would restart? My H did end the affair himself just after d-day. For months I was very scared, sad, lonely and miserable about the A and afraid that it might be ongoing or start again. That had been the previous pattern. Eventually after a few months I was feeling a little stronger, so went to visit the OW. I visited her for a myriad of reasons but my "obvious" excuse was to return to her some gifts she had given my H over the years. I'm sure you can pick holes in this and say "why didn't he do it himself?", but the fact of the matter is that for my own healing I needed a reason to visit her. I arrived unannounced at her workplace and after the initial shock had worn off she suggested we go for coffee together, which we did. We chatted for about 1.5 hours. She seemed reluctant to let me go. Our conversation was not heated or nasty. During this conversation I told her that I had previously considered telling her son but had not done so because he was so young and had lost his father. I also assured her I had no intention of telling him because she had kept her part of the bargain (she had previously written in an e-mail to me "I promise I will never contact Mr Sid again". This promise was not sought by me - she had made it of her own volition). I said I was glad she had not put me in the position of feeling I needed to expose her further, but that I would if I considered it necessary. Actually Jennie it is you rather than Fields who had chosen to put your own interpretation on my actions.
pureinheart Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 And maybe you can help me rip my abs like yours on that avatar pic.:p Yes we have my friend, yes we have. We all take life so serious yet none make it out alive. When we are 85 and about to sign off, we can look back and laugh at it. (or make out with our Senior Home lover. ahahahha!) You crack me up!!!!!!!!:lmao::lmao:
pureinheart Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Just read this. This thread was never initiated by me and I'm not asking for guidance right now. My infidelity issues are really getting more resolved each day. The boy's paternity is outstanding but won't be followed up until he's older. Are we still on topic with the moral indignation? I think so but probably not the way the OP intended it. Well, with the OP not asking for specific guidance in any particular area, it is sometimes hoped that their thread will be the hot thread:D...this has been the hot thread:D...very good thread BTW. Sid, you may not have expected it, although your sitch was the hot topic...I appreciate these types of threads because I always learn something... For me, when communicating in the fashion you did, explaining your sitch, there is healing in those spoken words...yes you may have told your story before, although you are different now and can say in a whole new way with a whole new understanding. It is my hope that you and your H will mend completely, and like you said, it's happening by the day:D
fooled once Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 WHY?? WHY?? WHY LORDY LORD... Do we have to argue about everything??? Can we just all get along? It's the weekend!!! *Cheers* I am seriously thinking of taking a break... You are not the only one.
pureinheart Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Well, with the OP not asking for specific guidance in any particular area, it is sometimes hoped that their thread will be the hot thread:D...this has been the hot thread:D...very good thread BTW. Sid, you may not have expected it, although your sitch was the hot topic...I appreciate these types of threads because I always learn something... For me, when communicating in the fashion you did, explaining your sitch, there is healing in those spoken words...yes you may have told your story before, although you are different now and can say in a whole new way with a whole new understanding. It is my hope that you and your H will mend completely, and like you said, it's happening by the day:D :DFor topics sake Moral Indignation...well not angry righteous or unrighteously right now...Is Jealousy...not jealous right now about anything...With A Halo....hummmm with a halo...not sure....lol
pureinheart Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I just so prefer to hear it from your own mouth than from somebody who seems to think she knows all about you. I know with my SO, one reason the exOW continued stalking him was because she played on his feelings of guilt for how their relationship once started. As long as she could manipulate him with that guilt, he did not really tell her off well enough to make her stay away. Once he did, she got the message. Don't you think that if you would have left it to your husband to make sure the affair ended, the MOW would have eventually stopped contacting him even without your intervention? Or were you afraid that if she kept at it that the affair would restart? Well that's two people with a nightmare OP (including Sids sitch)...I have heard of the individual that just did not want to go away...man I just don't get it, and am grateful for that... I am usually gone before they know it...lol
Fieldsofgold Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 :DFor topics sake Moral Indignation...well not angry righteous or unrighteously right now...Is Jealousy...not jealous right now about anything...With A Halo....hummmm with a halo...not sure....lol Uh, well, yes maybe. What she said. I see that there is a lot of righteous indignation. But I honestly don't see it as being linked to jealousy. Not sure what, though. (this is only my opinion.)
NoIDidn't Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Aren't righteous and moral indignation kinda the same thing, though? Both have the necessary "halo" implied.
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I understand what you are saying. That is a possibility. I missed this post of yours yesterday. Good to see that you are open for looking at a situation from more than one viewpoint.
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 And maybe you can help me rip my abs like yours on that avatar pic.:p Yes we have my friend, yes we have. We all take life so serious yet none make it out alive. When we are 85 and about to sign off, we can look back and laugh at it. (or make out with our Senior Home lover. ahahahha!) I like that vision! That is so going to be me!
jennie-jennie Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Uh, well, yes maybe. What she said. I see that there is a lot of righteous indignation. But I honestly don't see it as being linked to jealousy. Not sure what, though. (this is only my opinion.) LOL :laugh:
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