freestyle Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Yep, women are way worse. Jealous, competitive, and often openly hostile to other women (especially if they deem them a threat). One of my greatest strengths is disarming people. I just know how to make people feel comfortable, and that has helped me in the industry I am in. Don't you hate that stupid cattiness? It always astounds me when I encounter that open (or sometimes covert, sideways jabs and all) hostility from other women---when they've never even met me, or had a conversation with me. I work in a very male-dominated field,so I encounter my fair share of that....I find myself babbling on and on about my SO when I meet the wives or SO's of my colleagues, just to pre-emptively defuse any fears they might have about me.......and sometimes that isn't enough.I still get viewed as a threat, even though I think my looks are average. You, on the other hand, are very striking from what I see in your picture.I'd venture to guess that you've had to overcome being pre-judged a lot. Women will see you as a threat, and a lot of men might view you as an object. Or worse yet, presume you're a stereotypical "dumb blond" and talk down to you as if you were dumb. (grrrrr, I hate that!!) It's great that you've learned to disarm people, it helps to combat those preconceptions and stereotypes.
Author deux ex machina Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 You totally get it. It's like being stabbed through the heart with a dull knife. You don't matter, only your shell, the shell that's being held up not as a person but as a form of external validation. In essence, you're just an object to be acquired and pulled out when it suits them. That's why with H., it's so different. Wish I could explain to the members of LS what it feels like to be loved for you, not what you can do for the other person. When someone cares to know who you are inside, it means so much. That's similar to what I tried to post about before...a man who genuinely cares for a woman, and wants to know her, without unspoken expectations of what she can do for him, will be valued highly by the right woman. He's there, talking to her, because he wants to. He's interested in her as a person. If she's been through being treated as an object in the past, a woman who wants a relationship with real intimacy will understand and appreciate the difference.
Author deux ex machina Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Yes -- especially at scientific conferences. I'm in a field where men significantly outnumber women, so women of the stunningly beautiful variety are very few. One thing you notice is that they are always being chatted up during the conference. Maybe -- it's tough for me to judge. I would guess the stunners would benefit in some instances and be at a slight disadvantage in others, depending on the circumstance and the other people involved. Probably a wash overall. Thanks, GoodOnPaper. I imagine the women at the scientific conferences must have had to develop a lot of ways to deal with that. Since competition and threat was brought up in the article, along with relative attractiveness among opposing sexes, yes, I do think it is circumstance dependent. ---------- Thank you study for confirming what we already knew. Hell, when I go out with my friend and his girlfriend she glares down any girl that she can see. She sizes them up, if they're good looking she will change her attitude. Men don't really care as much, sometimes but not always. Haha. I have seen some men get a little snarky about guys that have a very athletic physique, for instance, but it's generally more good-natured kidding around. It's not in the same league from what can sometimes occur between women, it seems.
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