AutumnWinterLover Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I'm a black woman in my mid 20s and I was browsing on match.com, I'm not too sure I want to subscribe to the site though. I saw several matches that I was interested in, but when I looked on their profile I saw they wanted to date everything, but a black woman. Even the black men didnt want to date a black woman. I happen to like all ethnicities and I'm wondering is online dating more difficult for black women? I even read an article one time that said that black women got the least responses on dating websites. Should I just not bother with online dating at all?
Enchanted Girl Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 That's so disgusting that you had to go through all of that. I am not a black woman, so I can't give you any personal stories or experiences, but I'd suggest that you don't give up on it. There's a lot of douche bags you'll meet on online dating sites, but if you don't let them discourage you, then you'll eventually find those gems who won't be so ignorant that they'll judge you purely based on your race. Those men are probably shallow and not the kind of men you would want to be with anyway.
EYECANDY000 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I'm a black woman and I find it hard to do online dating.. Trust me, no matter what ethnicity you are everyone is pretty much in the same boat.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I don't know what to advise. All I can say is I see beauty before color and have had more love interests in my life with women of color than with uptight white. Maybe you should skip the pricey on line dating services if that's what they result in. And if you ever post any pictures of yourself on any dating service, have the picture done by someone who knows how to highlight your look. Distant photos with snap shot lighting rarely brings out the uniqueness and individual character of women of color. I know this by having shacked up for five years in NY with a pretty dark honey. I only have one picture of her taken by someone that was good with photography that really shows her delightful depth of facial beauty plus the super attractive definition of her arms. I stil love her though we've long parted--and she's regulalry in my dreams.
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Trust me, no matter what ethnicity you are everyone is pretty much in the same boat. Agreed. I'm an Asian guy...and I feel that we are also in that boat...so scoot on over and make some space...
ReadyforLove Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You have the advantage because you are a WOMAN. Online dating is a meat market for us! Once you sign up, you really do not have to do much browsing or contacting because your inbox will be littered with messages from men who ARE interested in black women
SilentVoice Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You have the advantage because you are a WOMAN. Online dating is a meat market for us! Once you sign up, you really do not have to do much browsing or contacting because your inbox will be littered with messages from men who ARE interested in black women Sadly enough this is it. It may not seem like many guys are looking for a black female(to you),but many guys are searching. Black white yellow or brown... women will always be contacted.
Author AutumnWinterLover Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 I don't know what to advise. All I can say is I see beauty before color and have had more love interests in my life with women of color than with uptight white. Maybe you should skip the pricey on line dating services if that's what they result in. And if you ever post any pictures of yourself on any dating service, have the picture done by someone who knows how to highlight your look. Distant photos with snap shot lighting rarely brings out the uniqueness and individual character of women of color. I know this by having shacked up for five years in NY with a pretty dark honey. I only have one picture of her taken by someone that was good with photography that really shows her delightful depth of facial beauty plus the super attractive definition of her arms. I stil love her though we've long parted--and she's regulalry in my dreams. Thanks I never thought to get some photos taken by a professional photographer. Sorry to hear about you and that lady.
Author AutumnWinterLover Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Agreed. I'm an Asian guy...and I feel that we are also in that boat...so scoot on over and make some space... Asian guys are some of the nicest I've ever met, too bad you live in D.C I hear dating is horrible there.
Author AutumnWinterLover Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 You have the advantage because you are a WOMAN. Online dating is a meat market for us! Once you sign up, you really do not have to do much browsing or contacting because your inbox will be littered with messages from men who ARE interested in black women Hmmm...I dont know about that, I suppose I could give match.com a try for a few months.
alphamale Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 in general, online dating is worthless for most people
Author AutumnWinterLover Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 USMCHokie I cant beileve you have a hard time finding a date, I just looked at your pics and you look good!
Davr Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I like all women... don't let it bother you. As little as I have tried online dating, I have seen numerous black women and have talked and met a few. It's all about preference I guess. Sometimes hot girls don't respond to my messages.. all you can do is move to the next.
USMCHokie Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Asian guys are some of the nicest I've ever met, too bad you live in D.C I hear dating is horrible there. Heh, I've been in the DC area for so long that I don't even know what dating would be like elsewhere...but oftentimes Asian guys can be great if they are just given a chance... USMCHokie I cant beileve you have a hard time finding a date, I just looked at your pics and you look good! Thanks, I appreciate the kinds words... But it took me a while to pull my head from out of ass and stop allowing myself to use my race as an excuse to give up on dating...it's been getting better...
Sanman Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Yeah, I read an article that okcupid found black women recieved the least e-mails from men. They also found Black and South Asian men to get the least responses back from women. I feel for you as a South Asian man. However, it is important to remember that you are not a statistic. You only need one person you like that is willing to have a relationship with you. The rest is vanity or noise, depending on your perspective. Despite statistics, I have met and dated women of a variety of ethnicities through online dating. A good (white) friend of mine just moved in with his black gf that he met through online dating. The odds may not be as good for you as others, but I guarantee you won't meet anyone if you don't at least try.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Thanks I never thought to get some photos taken by a professional photographer. Sorry to hear about you and that lady. You don't have to go to a professional photogrpher. You can do things like make a posting on Craigslist for amateur photographers who do small piece work and mention that what you want is someone experienced photgraphing black persons flatteringly. Actually there's a trick to it where computer enhancements can work. It shouldn't change your appearance but use some of the lighting and contrast controls to brighten the background which makes for less of a stark contrast if your complexion is particularly dark. Craigslist is free and you should be able to communicate with someone of talent anonymously before committal to his or her services. Good luck. J.
alexlakeman Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Some of us don't date blacks... no big deal, life is made of choices...
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I'm a black woman in my mid 20s and I was browsing on match.com, I'm not too sure I want to subscribe to the site though. I saw several matches that I was interested in, but when I looked on their profile I saw they wanted to date everything, but a black woman. Even the black men didnt want to date a black woman. I happen to like all ethnicities and I'm wondering is online dating more difficult for black women? I even read an article one time that said that black women got the least responses on dating websites. Should I just not bother with online dating at all? Humanity never ceases to amaze: All these years of people complaining about racial bias and practicing racial bias intermittently, and then Al Gore invents the internet, where nobody knows what color or race you are, and the first thing you want to do is broadcast it to the world. Now just what is this peculiar custom? Why not just toss yourself into a chatroom where nobody can tell your race, and practice living as a mere human, among other humans. There are people all over the internet world who are amputees, who are chain smokers, who are members of those political parties whose presidential candidates never have a chance to win, who are 'heavy set', and these people are all interacting in chatrooms withOUT usually disclosing THOSE feared deal-breakers to one another. They get along fine!!! Why must you first define yourself as a member of a certain race when there is no immediate need to do so? In fact, why not challenge yourself to strike up an online friendship and see how long you can carry it without feeling the need to declare your ethnic background??? Nobody cares about it anymore than you do, and that is a variable controlled almost entirely by you.
ReadyforLove Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Some of us don't date blacks Um, wow. Okay....
Feelin Frisky Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Some of us don't date blacks... no big deal, life is made of choices... Yeah, nice thing to say. Not. A.H.
USMCHokie Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 This is my list of people who shouldn't do online dating, starting with the worst: 1) Men under 5'10 2)Asian men (East Asian and South Asian, although IMO East asian men are hated by women more) 3) Poor men 4) Ugly men 5) Men in general Wow...I am totally screwed...
Enchanted Girl Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Humanity never ceases to amaze: All these years of people complaining about racial bias and practicing racial bias intermittently, and then Al Gore invents the internet, where nobody knows what color or race you are, and the first thing you want to do is broadcast it to the world. Now just what is this peculiar custom? Why not just toss yourself into a chatroom where nobody can tell your race, and practice living as a mere human, among other humans. There are people all over the internet world who are amputees, who are chain smokers, who are members of those political parties whose presidential candidates never have a chance to win, who are 'heavy set', and these people are all interacting in chatrooms withOUT usually disclosing THOSE feared deal-breakers to one another. They get along fine!!! Why must you first define yourself as a member of a certain race when there is no immediate need to do so? In fact, why not challenge yourself to strike up an online friendship and see how long you can carry it without feeling the need to declare your ethnic background??? Nobody cares about it anymore than you do, and that is a variable controlled almost entirely by you. Because it's a dating site. You're not going to get any dates without pictures of yourself and people knowing things about your appearance.
shadowplay Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 (edited) guys are idiots. that's all you ever need to know. Edited July 21, 2010 by shadowplay
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 guys are idiots. that's all you ever need to know. I wholeheartedly agree. Doing anything this weekend?
jamesum Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Why do people put up professionally taken photos on dating sites? I mean SERIOUSLY?!? Its not like you are advertising for modeling.
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