Swinger Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Greetings, Back to this forum after a hundred years with a new account name. I figured this might be the best place to post my dilemma and get honest crit: As the name implies, I'm the type of person who has a penchant for swinging. For a number of years I've enjoyed the company of multiple partners and an untied lifestyle. I recently ran into a snag, however... A friend of mine and I hooked up at a party one night, and decided to be a "couple for the weekend". I told her straight up that I wasn't looking for a relationship, and in fact, there was someone else in the picture already. She said that was cool, and as we were just going to have a romp with some friends, I thought it would just be another hookup with a buddy (who might turn into a convenient booty call in the future!) Long story short, she started hanging around more. I definitely didn't mind this at first, because I got to see my friend more often, and we had our "play time" now and again. But this quickly went downhill. It wasn't long before she started asking about commitment. I had to put the hammer down, there and tell her flat out that I wasn't interested in a relationship with her, and to get out now if she couldn't stand the fact that I had other girlfriends and boyfriends. Many a tear was shed, and the subject came up several times after that -- each time she conceeded to my swinging... Eventually, I was the one that ended it, because she was clearly not into this lifestyle and I was tired of explaining my actions. She moved away not long after, but we remained friends... so I thought. I got several hurtful emails, phone calls, and myspace notes long after this. None of these had anything to do with our "relationship". In fact, most of them happened after days of not seeing one another, and never once was there a bad moment between us to provoke it. I would inevitably call her and calm her down and explain something like, "No, I did not post that Myspace picture to make you jealous." I thought it was weird enough, then, but after all the consoling done and my avoidance of her, she still called to inform me that she is shutting me out of her life. Honestly, I wouldn't mind that, and would welcome it at this point. However, we have many close friends, and these include one of my roommates to whom she's apparently been closer with, these days. Again, nothing wrong with that -- Except my roomie confided in me the other night that my "ex" (remember, we were never really a couple, here) is now complaining to her about my doings, and prodding her for info, and crying and complaining when I so much as post a Tweet online... she apparently thinks everything I do is an affront or a shout-out to her. I think I've been nice to her for too long. My roomie divulged that this girl has not had any real serious relationship in a long time, and her last one ended miserably. Too, she was diagnosed with depression not too long ago. Still, I'm the type of person who believes you do nobody a favor by holding back... My question is this: When she calls again, I know I'm done comforting her, but should I risk our friendship by getting mean? What suggestions do you have? Thanks in advance!
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