Steven101 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Okay guys so here is how it is : I have been having doubts for around a month now, i spoke to her about this and my fears/paranoia and stress did go away for a few days. But then they came back. She would say i love you. i would say it too but the more she had said it the more i became guilty and freaking out if i do love her or not. i think deep down i do. Right now i am suffering from depression and stress and anixtey. My frame of mind is not right, and i have had bad relationships in the past. Been cheated on and been left for different guys. Now i do know she isn't like this, but there is something in my brain letting her from coming close to me. so we broke up two days ago. I said listen can we just go on a break, she agreed. then today she asked to speak to me she said i don't think we should get back together untill you are better, so we can start a fresh, everything will work out for us in time. i am still yours, you are still mines. you still have my heart i have tryed talking to her about how if you do love someone and care for someone would'nt you stick by them and try and help them? she said well i have tryed (and she really has) but i think it would be best because i seem to make you worried and stressed sometimes. i just don't know what to do i am crying, i am truely crying right now, does anyone from past relationship experiance feel that i love her ? i miss her so much... thank you guys
Spiritofnow Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I am sorry to hear that you are hurting. I will do my best in telling you what I hear. Seems to me there could be a few things going on. You are afraid to love in case you get hurt - letting someone in feels way to risky when we have been hurt in the past. We know we want to love, but we feel afraid and the deeper we become involved with a person the more fear we feel, so a kind of see-saw motion goes on - wanting to let them in and then pulling back due to the fear we feel. That kind of dynamic ties you up in knots, because we feel so torn. You say you feel low and depressed even though you are not sure if you love her - well, that is a perfectly normal response to a break-up, even if you were the one who initiated it you still had feelings for her and it takes time to get over those. I guess, you have to be really brave and ask yourself if either of the above scenarios could be true for you, and then when you know your answers you can work on moving forward. I hope this helps you out.
lala82 Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Everybody have have bad experiences. But, it does not mean that everytime that we have a relationship we are going be hurt. I think that you need to have more confidence and relax a little bit. Take your time to decide if you really love her or no. If you decide to back with her you need to be more confident and trust her. Do not damage your relationship for your insecurities. It is not fear with your gf. It hurst a lot when you love someone and you do not know if the other person has the same feelings.
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