almostfeelingbetter Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I think i'm writing this just to vent. My wife and I (who never officially got married), have been together for 13 years, I am 36, she is 30. We have a son of 12 years old. When we got involved, she loved me so much, i could just tell, but I don't think that I saw her as the love of my life. We did have a great 5 years or so, then things started to just get repetitive, like just going through the motions. We even talked about that, but really never did anything about it. Eventually, her love for me started to fade and I noticed it, but I do know that she still cares for me because we cry together on the phone a lot. I took a job 18 months ago that required me to travel the east coast, I feel like I left her all alone emotionally to fend for herself. She cheated on me, I found a note from the other guy to her, the note was an attempt to get her back. She said they only were physical once, but did enjoy each others company, she had feelings for him. We talked a lot about it, I told her I would never mention it again and forgave her. Then I got layed off from work, and got really depressed and finally lost our home and was forced to move to another state, she stayed to keep her job. I took our son with me to my other residence (which luckily I was still able to have because of family). I told her if she didn't come with us, I wouldn't consider us a couple anymore. She said she was coming to n.c when her job was up. Her job turned into a full time job and she decided to keep it. We had no money coming in, she had to, she's been staying with a friend to be able to send money to help with the intention of coming to us, then she met the other guy again and says she is so confused, I realize my mistakes now and tho too late, have come to realize she was the love of my life all along.
spyyder Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) Bro she cheated on you. Perhaps if she just kissed the other guy then that is forgivable with explanation, but SHE CHEATED on you. She had sex with another guy. Is that not making you go nuts? Even worse, she is still seeing that guy! Their affair was close enough for him to leave notes! How can she be the love of your life if she did all that to you!?!?!? You only think this way because she's financial supporting you. When you were together....why did everything fade in the last couple of years?? Not months, but YEARS?? Thats a long time to realize that there is a problem and not act on it. When she says she's 'confused', it actually means that she's deciding to be with you (her sort of 'husband' with so much history) or this new guy she had an affair with. She basically isn't sure to go with you or him....so are you really not concerned that she's actually putting you up against this guy to compare? Because she knows she's supporting you, she knows that everything is in her hands, and she plays the cards. This is how working women with house husbands are these days...they suddenly make all the decisions and don't consider yours. They'll throw you out like garbage if they feel like it. Focus on getting yourself a job and supporting yourself. I know this isn't very PC, but bro your a man...you need to support yourself!!! That girl IS NOT the love of your life and your current state of desperation is clouding your judgement. Edited July 20, 2010 by spyyder
Author almostfeelingbetter Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 You're right man, i know it's a long time not to act, we got caught up in the daily grind and it just stayed that way. It did take something this traumatic to jump start me, and if not for her, I'm more in tune for someone else. She hasn't been supporting me at all, I am working, just had to move here to find work. She has been sending money to help tho. At first it was needed for her to keep that job because we we're so far behind. And yes it does drive me crazy, I'm just wanting to consider my son, her and me, not just me. If I knew she was over me, it wouldn't be as big an issue with me.
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