michg Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 A married woman approaches a married guy she always had a crush on, online. She forges a fake FB profile, friends him (by telling him they met at a work fair, which is of course untrue since she's using a fake picture) and gets him to hit on her. He does. She then starts sending him sex emails and he follows. He asks her to go to his office for an interview (meaning sex) and offers to get her a job in his company, working for him, and even adds that he would be a very good boss. The woman then confesses to him that she is actually one of his former co-workers... (She doesn't work there anymore) The guy decides to stick with her anyway and maintain the appointment for sex (she makes it very clear that she's married and only wants sex), but he says that he doesn't want straight sex, only a bj. He then seems less interested than he was when he thought she was someone else. Did he act that way because he's not attracted to her? Or is it because he got caught and she knows ALL of his co-workers, his wife, kids, etc.? Why would a man tell a woman that he only wants bjs?
Owl Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) A married woman approaches a married guy she always had a crush on, online. She forges a fake FB profile, friends him (by telling him they met at a work fair, which is of course untrue since she's using a fake picture) and gets him to hit on her. He does. She then starts sending him sex emails and he follows. He asks her to go to his office for an interview (meaning sex) and offers to get her a job in his company, working for him, and even adds that he would be a very good boss. The woman then confesses to him that she is actually one of his former co-workers... (She doesn't work there anymore) The guy decides to stick with her anyway and maintain the appointment for sex (she makes it very clear that she's married and only wants sex), but he says that he doesn't want straight sex, only a bj. He then seems less interested than he was when he thought she was someone else. Did he act that way because he's not attracted to her? Or is it because he got caught and she knows ALL of his co-workers, his wife, kids, etc.? Why would a man tell a woman that he only wants bjs? Well...it sounds to me like there are a couple of layers to this. One...sounds like he wasn't all that attracted to her to begin with. Two...odds are high that the deception(s) also fed into that...it's not attractive being lied to and deceived, for whatever reasons. It speaks volumes about the character of the person who perpetrated the deception. Third...it's also extremely telling that the questions are all about his feelings/thoughts in this...with no interest or scrutiny on what motivated her, on her feelings/thoughts/personality, nor on her marriage. Why did she feel constrained to pursue him "as someone else"? Was she hoping for more than just the physical? She clearly has an agenda for pursuing him... If this is your H...what does it matter what he's "thinking" or not??? It's still completely unacceptable behavior. What are you going to do about it? Edited July 20, 2010 by Owl
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why would a man tell a woman that he only wants bjs? Think of it this way - when a man says "I wouldn't f*ck her but I'd let her blow me", what do you think he means? He is putting her in the most expendable sexual category: she services him and gets nothing in return. That is about the lowest sexual priority you can get with a man when he is saying that he doesn't want sex with her, just a bj. He is either not attracted or just plain not interested enough to put forth any sexual effort.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why would a man tell a woman that he only wants bjs? maybe its because when he found out the real identity of the woman, he knew her to be a huss and didn't want to risk catching a disease. either that or he has the Bill Clinton syndrome and oral sex really isn't sex:rolleyes:
Dexter Morgan Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 michg.....are you offended that he only wants a bj from you now?
turnera Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why? Because when he realizes you are making fake identities, he realizes you are a crazy lady and he's distancing himself from you.
Author michg Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 (edited) Thanks for your insight, everybody. And why are some people calling me Edith?! This was very troubling, and yes, I was very crazy to approach him as someone else. But I had to. I'm married, and couldn't have my name attached to "affair" emails that could have become "evidence" if I got caught. My actual plan was to find out if he would cheat on his wife, and then pursue him as myself (and please spare me the "you're a slut" comments for going after a married man, first they will never work, second, I waited for this guy for a very long time.) But anyway. So, in emails he did say he only wanted bjs. Then over the phone, he was all "So, what do you want me to do to you??" and it wasn't phone sex or anything, he was really just asking. Then I was the one who said no to "more". I understand that he may not be attracted to me - at least not as much as I'd like him to be - but I have broken this off a couple of times before and he's the one always asking me to come back. Do you think that having a different attitude over the phone means something? Edited July 21, 2010 by michg
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Yeah...it means you both are 2 very disturbed individuals! Why don't you post this on the OW/OM Forum...they may be able to help you and starting an affair with a guy who thinks your ugly!
callalilly Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 You said you used to be married and that you are now single back in May. I'm totally confused now after reading your previous posts!
jwi71 Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Did he act that way because he's not attracted to her? Why don't you just ask him straight up: "Do you want to **** me?" If he says yes...great...if not, the obvious follow up is "Why not?" Why go through all this rigmarole...just take the easy and direct way. No matter what, you will have your answers and no more "What ifs". Or is it because he got caught and she knows ALL of his co-workers, his wife, kids, etc.? This become moot if you simply ask him for a quickie. Why would a man tell a woman that he only wants bjs? Dunno. I'd ask him. However, I too would refuse this offer from a married woman (and likely a single one). Why? And there is no way I can say this "nicely"...but I would have serious health concerns if I accepted such a proposition. Really, what kind of woman would ask that? Is this a setup? I would be very distrustful of it all. Not attacking you...just telling you what I would be thinking and maybe that sheds some light on this.
Author michg Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 "However, I too would refuse this offer from a married woman (and likely a single one). Why? And there is no way I can say this "nicely"...but I would have serious health concerns if I accepted such a proposition. Really, what kind of woman would ask that? Is this a setup? I would be very distrustful of it all. Not attacking you...just telling you what I would be thinking and maybe that sheds some light on this." What do you mean? You mean if a woman approached you the way I approached him, you would think she was a whore who slept around and would then offer only bjs? I think I'm confused because you said "what kind of a woman would ask that?" Ask what? Thanks, though!
Owl Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 OK...you're going to have to explain your situation lya little more clearly. You posted here in the past as a wife with a husband you suspected was cheating. Now you're posting as a married woman who posted to a married man's FB with a fake profile to convince him to have an affair with you...and you're wanting to know why you were rejected. Non-sequiter. What's your actual story here?
Author michg Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 How was I rejected? We still had an affair and he keeps coming back.
jwi71 Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Uh-oh. She, if its really a she, has posted the same thread three different times in the past as well...verbatim posts. What we have here is a troll. Doh!!
Owl Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 I've been suspecting such, given that her current 'situation' doesn't add up with her previous posts about her husband cheating.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 This was very troubling, and yes, I was very crazy to approach him as someone else. But I had to. I'm married, and couldn't have my name attached to "affair" emails that could have become "evidence" if I got caught. My actual plan was to find out if he would cheat on his wife, and then pursue him as myself (and please spare me the "you're a slut" comments for going after a married man, first they will never work, second, I waited for this guy for a very long time.) so why aren't you getting a divorce and setting your husband free from you? Do you think that having a different attitude over the phone means something? i think it means that once he found out who it was, he wasn't interested in intercourse. now go file for divorce.
Dexter Morgan Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 You said you used to be married and that you are now single back in May. I'm totally confused now after reading your previous posts! yes, and in the post before yours, she is back to being married again. I think we can write this person off. on second thought, MODERATORS, if you are reading....delete this disgusting thread. let her post this over in that other forum where this type of despicable behavior and thinking is coddled.
turnera Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 What do you mean? You mean if a woman approached you the way I approached him, you would think she was a whore who slept around and would then offer only bjs? Of course we would think she was a whore. He's married, for pete's sake. So she either is a needy nutcase or someone completely without morals - either way, not a great catch, and good for only one thing.
turnera Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 How was I rejected? We still had an affair and he keeps coming back. Because you're easy. You're a guy's wet dream.
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