newguyhere Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 The past couple days, I have been thinking back on my last relationship and thinking about the future as well. I know that I want a special lady in my life sometime in the future, but looking back on my past relationship I don't think its "her" that I wan't to be with. The relationship we had was nothing spectacular and it was mostly one sided on my part. I just miss having somebody in my life. It took a year to get to this realization, but I'm here just like everyone said would happen. I am still lonely, but no longer heartbroken at the same time. I can handle that . Everything will be fine
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I must extend a big congratulations to you on this realization. I believe that this is one of the most important things to understand in order to facilitate your healing process. People in your life will come and go, and it's the various kinds of relationships that you will miss most, whether it is a friendship, an acquaintance, or a lover. Oftentimes we attach the person to the relationship itself and associate all the good feelings of the relationship with that person. We feel that any relationship without that person will not be fulfilling...but that certainly isn't the case...because people do move on...we will find others who bring out those same feelings again...and we eventually learn to let go of the past and allow ourselves to feel the happy feelings again... So good on you!
carhill Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I saw stbx today for the first time in over a year to deal with divorce stuff in person and, upon reflection, though not in the moment, the sadness I feel is missing the person I was when I was married to her. I'm just a curious object to her, like I was during the M. She talked 'at' me today just like when we were married (meaning together). I don't miss her at all. I miss the person I was. Hope that makes sense I'm not lonely, as I lived alone for over 15 years before getting married. I enjoy solitude, but also enjoy the feelings of intimacy I had being married.
GrayClouds Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) The past couple days, I have been thinking back on my last relationship and thinking about the future as well. I know that I want a special lady in my life sometime in the future, but looking back on my past relationship I don't think its "her" that I wan't to be with. The relationship we had was nothing spectacular and it was mostly one sided on my part. I just miss having somebody in my life. It took a year to get to this realization, but I'm here just like everyone said would happen. I am still lonely, but no longer heartbroken at the same time. I can handle that . Everything will be fine You will still have some good days and some bad days but you made a big step forward. Congrats. Edited July 20, 2010 by GrayClouds
Author newguyhere Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 You will still have some good days and some bad days but you made a big step forward. Congrats. You were right GrayClouds. Today is one of those bad days. But the good days are better and the bad days are not as bad .
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