just_smile Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Ok so, i've been seeing this guy for a year and 1/2 and still to this day and i have fallen in love with him. I knew from the moment i saw him he had something special so I had to talk to him. We hit it off and have been seeing each other for this long. Well, it turns out he's married and is now expecting a baby girl. It hurt me soooo much to find out but he told me he's confused and he wants us to continue because what we have is great. He gave me some time to think and i decided to follow my heart and stick around. So i am officially the other woman. Nothing has changed it's just now I know really whats up. He's only 20 years old, his wife is 19, and I'm going on 22. I know age is nothing but a number, and I know what im about to say is bad, but I am hoping that it was a mistake for them to get married so soon. I want him to be happy but he says he's happy with me in his life. I'm so confused still, this whole situation is becoming something i can't ignore. I'm terrified of this but I can't let go. We've talked about how we feel for each other and we feel the same. I don't know what to do. Well i do but i know its wrong. I want to be with him, he makes me so happy. He's the man for me, we're perfect for each other. He never told me he had a gf in the beginning of our relationship, or that he had gotten married. I found out through myspace. When the truth all came out he told me everything. He said that he had to get married because he got arrested and was gonna get deported (we're Mexican) and now she's pregnant. He said he wasn't sure how i really felt about him so he didn't know whether to leave her and come with me, that he was really confused and had so many mixed emotions he didn't know what to do. When we finally had the talk about how we feel for each other he had already married. Anyone please, share your thoughts on this, help me.
Mombot Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Newly married? Baby? Why continue? Don't see any benefits for you- even if he divorced her you would have a poor financial situation with him and he'd be tied to the baby.
bentnotbroken Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Love isn't blind. Only the people who don't want to see the truth and claim it is because of love are blind.
Confused4Now Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Love isn't blind. Only the people who don't want to see the truth and claim it is because of love are blind.Not to mention you are so young....look around the forums. I'm in my 50's. You have your whole life ahead of you....please don't fall for this guys crap!!!!
fooled once Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Love isn't blind. Only the people who don't want to see the truth and claim it is because of love are blind. I agree. He is a player and you are falling for it.
BB07 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 If you let love be blind........and it is a choice, it will reach up and bite you in the azz so hard it will leave teeth prints.........and will scar you forever. Seriously..........you are young, find you a nice single guy without the baggage, there is NO way this can play out and have a happy ending. Don't delude yourself thinking it can. You probably won't listen........but you will wish that you had.
ladydesigner Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I agree with every post above. You are making this choice to be the OW. They are expecting a baby you should leave them alone. Deal with your feelings and your grief and move on. Sure you have a connection, but I believe you need to pull the plug on this relationship. Like the others said you are young and there are plenty of single men out there to fall in love with and make your own babies with;) The only thing this will lead to is the destruction of his relationship and probably destroy his wife and she is preggo. Even if he does leave for you, at this age do you want to deal with the fallout of this? Destroy a family and live with a man that will ultimately have to still deal with his wife and pay child support. Do you really want that at 22? I know I wouldn't. There is no love worth all that. You have options girl...make a wiser decision.
Author just_smile Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 yess... i know i get it. thank you all for your advice. The thing is, he's the one who calls me and comes sees me and all that. I talked to him the other day and told him i can't do this anymore and he practically begged me to stay. I said no and he still calls me. He looks for me. I know its wrong but i can't ignore him...
ladydesigner Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 yess... i know i get it. thank you all for your advice. The thing is, he's the one who calls me and comes sees me and all that. I talked to him the other day and told him i can't do this anymore and he practically begged me to stay. I said no and he still calls me. He looks for me. I know its wrong but i can't ignore him... Yes you can ignore him. It is called changing your phone number, blocking your email, etc etc etc. You choose to be where you are. If you want to be OW then be happy OW. You have choices. If you don't want to be in the position you are in you are going to have to be strong and tell him not to contact you.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 yess... i know i get it. thank you all for your advice. The thing is, he's the one who calls me and comes sees me and all that. I talked to him the other day and told him i can't do this anymore and he practically begged me to stay. I said no and he still calls me. He looks for me. I know its wrong but i can't ignore him... How do you feel about all of this and the posts you've read so far? What are you hoping to come out of the R? What are you getting out of it at this point? GEL
Author just_smile Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 How do you feel about all of this and the posts you've read so far? What are you hoping to come out of the R? What are you getting out of it at this point? GEL GEL - ...to answer ur 3 questions. 1- i've heard it all already. i was just seeing what other ppl i dont know would say. 2- im honestly really just living in the moment and taking things day by day. 3- his everything. nothing has changed since the truth all came out. its as if he isnt married. Which is what confuses me as well.
Author just_smile Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 qft ........................ i dont know what that means...
bentnotbroken Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 GEL - ...to answer ur 3 questions. 1- i've heard it all already. i was just seeing what other ppl i dont know would say. 2- im honestly really just living in the moment and taking things day by day. 3- his everything. nothing has changed since the truth all came out. its as if he isnt married. Which is what confuses me as well. You shouldn't be confused. NO matter what he does...he is still married to a woman who is pregnant. Put yourself in her shoes, what would your response be?
Circular Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 i dont know what that means... qft = quite fn true
Fallen Angel Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 It sounds like you're really not invested in this guy. I personally think you should exit, stage left. You don't owe him any explanation. You also don't want the "baby momma drama" that is going to ensue. EEG I agree. Hello friend.
pureinheart Posted July 21, 2010 Posted July 21, 2010 Ok so, i've been seeing this guy for a year and 1/2 and still to this day and i have fallen in love with him. I knew from the moment i saw him he had something special so I had to talk to him. We hit it off and have been seeing each other for this long. Well, it turns out he's married and is now expecting a baby girl. It hurt me soooo much to find out but he told me he's confused and he wants us to continue because what we have is great. He gave me some time to think and i decided to follow my heart and stick around. So i am officially the other woman. Nothing has changed it's just now I know really whats up. He's only 20 years old, his wife is 19, and I'm going on 22. I know age is nothing but a number, and I know what im about to say is bad, but I am hoping that it was a mistake for them to get married so soon. I want him to be happy but he says he's happy with me in his life. I'm so confused still, this whole situation is becoming something i can't ignore. I'm terrified of this but I can't let go. We've talked about how we feel for each other and we feel the same. I don't know what to do. Well i do but i know its wrong. I want to be with him, he makes me so happy. He's the man for me, we're perfect for each other. He never told me he had a gf in the beginning of our relationship, or that he had gotten married. I found out through myspace. When the truth all came out he told me everything. He said that he had to get married because he got arrested and was gonna get deported (we're Mexican) and now she's pregnant. He said he wasn't sure how i really felt about him so he didn't know whether to leave her and come with me, that he was really confused and had so many mixed emotions he didn't know what to do. When we finally had the talk about how we feel for each other he had already married. Anyone please, share your thoughts on this, help me. Hey JS ((((((((big hugs)))))))) Wow I don't have any words of wisdom except welcome to LS...it sounds to me like he's scared. All of you are so young, and this will pass...I wonder if next year or the year after that any of you will still feel the same. What about your career? What do you plan to do? Are you in school? Do you have lots of family? Are you from Mexico? Hey, I hope it is ok to ask all of the questions, I just like to ask questions...lol. Hey, you got all of my thoughts and prayers:)
Author just_smile Posted July 21, 2010 Author Posted July 21, 2010 Hey JS ((((((((big hugs)))))))) Wow I don't have any words of wisdom except welcome to LS...it sounds to me like he's scared. All of you are so young, and this will pass...I wonder if next year or the year after that any of you will still feel the same. What about your career? What do you plan to do? Are you in school? Do you have lots of family? Are you from Mexico? Hey, I hope it is ok to ask all of the questions, I just like to ask questions...lol. Hey, you got all of my thoughts and prayers:) *I know we're young and stuff its just with him it feels soooooo right and ive never felt like this EVER...i dont know if my feelings will ever change for him, at this point i feel like we have become closer in a way. *my career, I don't work, i came from a family where the girl isnt supposed to work --idk my parents raised us like that lol...dont judge. *yes i have a lot of family, and i was born in southern california but the rest of my family are from Mexico. thank you:)
sadintexas Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Do you want to get married and have a family of your own? At 22, you really have your whole life ahead of you. Time does start going fast (believe me) and you don't want to wake up and realize that you've spent some of your best years waiting for someone. You deserve to have someone that is willing to love you and only you, to treat you with respect, to build a life with. He's not going anywhere soon. The moment he sees his beautiful daughter, he will be in love with the most important woman that will ever come into his life...his little girl.
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