WhenWillItEnd Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Hi I hope that you can help with giving me your opinions. I was with my ex for 3 years but unfortunately we broke up back in Feb, the weekend before we broke up he was saying he had never been happier & that it had taken him a long time to get me & never wanted to lose me & had never felt like he connected with someone so well. To be honest I don't know what happened for the relationship to end it just happened one evening. Anyway, a month later I find out he's got back with his ex which hurt me but that is completely his choice & I continued the NC. We then bumped into each other & managed to discuss a few issues from the relationship, that I'm too independent & wasn't ready for the family & kids & he was so he had gone back to her because it was easy, all the time in our relationship she was hanging around & contacting him so maybe they are meant to be. The issue I have is that he still contacts me every couple of weeks, it started out as phone calls & text messages which I've ignored as I don't want to be in contact with someone who could disrespect me so much by moving on & in my head something must have been going on with his ex for her to be there so quickly when we broke up. The phone calls died away but now its emails & text messages which I'm still ignoring. Even last week he sent me a long email telling me all about his life as if we are still together & on Saturday I went into our local town which I've avoided since we split but had to for a friends birthday & he was out. I managed to ignore him in the first pub, even though I thought I was going to be sick & was shaking. When I was at the bar in the next pub he came up to me & put his arm around my waist as if we were still together & was standing so closely I could hardly move, he asked why was I ignoring him & was I going to say hello, to this I replied no, & he asked why am I so honest? he then moaned about me not wishing him a happy birthday, etc. He wanted the conversation to continue & I just paid for my drink & walked away but I feel this won't be the end as I am ignoring him & made it clear I don't want to know him. Why won't he leave me alone & move on with his ex? does this mean anything or is he just trying to keep me in the background? How do I get him to stop contacting, I've told him countless times at the beginning to leave me alone.... what does he want from me? Any advice will be gratefully received. Thank you.
paleblue Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 i guess you have no choice but to reiterate yourself a few times and maybe get a little more stern about it if you have too. other than that i think you are doing the right thing by ignoring him and moving on if you have no desire to be associated with him anymore. you have all rights!!!! him keeping in contact is just a way to make himself feel better about what he did. obviously he underestimated you if that is what he is thinking. i also think its very tasteless of him to come up to you in the bar and put his arm around your waist like that! sounds like you did the right thing. what would his girl think if she knew he was disrespecting her like that??
skydiveaddict Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 He's trying to pacify his guilt. Have nothing more to do w/him. He is a coward. BTW, sorry for what you're going through. I've been there too.
Author WhenWillItEnd Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Thank you, its so difficult as I don't want him out of my life, I miss him & every day I wake up thinking about him & I have to talk about him...it just seems never ending. If only he was thinking about me & wanting me back. Its so difficult to keep ignoring but I know its the only way. My head tells me that he's not worth it but my feelings say something completely different. When will it be my turn to move on & be with someone else? even if he is missing me etc (which I doubt) she is there to occupy his time I have noone & I'm pining for him. How do other people cope?
Recommended Posts