susan2 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 I just got dumped by my boyfriend of over a year. We both got along so well and clicked in everyway possible. There was always one ongoing problem though. I have a child from my first marriage who is 5. He was also married before but had no children. When we first started going out everything was great. We both never dreamed we would get so close. Around December he started saying he questioned weather are not he could be in a relationship with me because he didn't know if he could raise a child. We broke it off for a bit but he came crawling back. I tryed to put that at the back of my mind and just take it a day at a time. February he just out of no where got scared and did it again. I was blindsided because we had grown so close. I held my ground for about a month and he made me believe everything was good. I really was guarded then but i continued to believe in him. We were so compatable and we were best friends and both trusted each other deeply. In may we went away for the weekend and had a great time. On the way home i asked him if anything else ever bothered him about our relationship. I was floored when he still questioned the idea of raising a child with me. I told him that it was over and oviously this will never go away so we don't need to be together. I know the signs were right there but i kept thinking he would grow up and just love us both. Of course this time when i broke up with him he finaly stupidly had enough courage to finally tell me he loved me. I little to late for that. I gave it a month and stupidly beleived him when he said he loved me and only wanted to be with us. He would never break up with me again. He always talked about doing things with my son. He even hoped we would move in together in the near future. I was guarded but truely believed him this time. In my heart i knew it was different this time and i exitedly dreamed of our future. He told me he would never break up with me again. 2 weeks later he pulled the rug out from under me. He said he got so stressed thinking about having a young child running around in his house. I told him if it stressed him out that bad then this wasn't for him. He said maybe if he just hung out with my son a little more than he would change. I told him you are not test driving my son! Find some other 5 year old to hang out with. When I took him back to his house he was bawling. I said why are you crying this is what you wanted. He said i love you and its not what i want but its for the best. HUH? The night before he broke up with me he said he is more close to me and trusts me more than he ever did with his last 2 exwifes. I am so lost and confused. I know i will never go back to him. I just can't belive my little boy could scare off my boyfriend. I told him he was selfish and a chicken. I am so lost!!!
flyfishin Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I had a similiar issue and I posted it last Week. For me its reverse of your story since I am a guy. My advice to you is forget him all together. You will find someone who will accept you and your child. Don't waste your time or yout childs time on him. It will only hurt you both in the long run. He seems selfish and you and your son are a package and at least he was honest he couldn't handle it but he should have figured that out a lot sooner than a year. Keep your head up enjoy your son hand you will find someone who accepts you both.
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I don't like this man already. He likes you but not your child? Your son is an extension of you. He's part of your DNA! This man is scared of commitment, growing up, and changing his routine. He want's life to be simple, but life is messy. Nothing stays the same and nothing is perfect. The man you're looking for will instantly love your son. My bestfriend was dating a woman with a boy your sons age. My friend loved her son so much and always took care of him. The woman broke up with my friend, but he and her son still have a friendship and chat from time to time. My point in bringing that up is that there are plenty of good guys who will love you and your boy without a test drive. I'm sorry you had to deal with a guy like this. I don't know how old you or your guy are, but he's needs to grow up. And to be honest I think it's cool dating a woman with a child because its an instant family. Everyone wants a family!
sensi Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You have to check this blog out - it's funny, heartbreaking yet realistic [COLOR=#660000]http://ridingsolo.wordpress.com/[/COLOR] It makes you realise you're not the only person in the world who's heart is breaking....
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