mistrall Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 hi guys and gals, this is my 1st post on here although i have been doing alot of reading. I had been in a relationship with my ex (hate saying that) for comming upto three years, this may be quite a large post so beare with me. when we met we fell deeply inlove and moved intogether within the 1st 6 weeks, all was great and i felt strong and she was a lovely person, i am 29 she is a verry old 22. we shared the same dreams of a fun and nice lifestyle with traveling and dinner's out - walks on the beach and hills, we journeyed to the usa(boston) egypt and a few outher places. all was well for a long time. I beleved that we were the same in as much as we both desided that if we had any problems that we would talk about them seriously and work them out as a couple as we both felt that this relationship was "it". over the past 5 months things became a little diferent though, im going to try to be fair and say what i see from both sides, she started smoking alot of the green stuff for a start and was quite overweight and desided to get some illigal diet pills and stop eating verry much atall, i tryed to reasure her that i loved her nomatter what her weight was and that we could do lots of exersise together to try to make her feel more comfortable in her own skin, which we did and that was ok, she began eating nothing more that a sandwhich a day and became verry cold - harsh and pushed me away, she was so up and down with her love/coldness. In turn (im a sensitave guy) this made me feel like i was trying to cling on to the times that she wanted or could show me any emotion atal and when she pushed me away i got defensive, she started putting me down saying that the cleaning that i did each day wasnt good enough and that it didnt matter that i cooked dinner everyday day/picked her up ect, she just kept make me feel smaller and smaller - weeker and weeker. she would not cut down the smoking eaven though i cut down on any drinking just to help what ever issue that we had. we had wanted to move to a diferent aria for a while, but for some reason it didnt happen. we still were verry lovey alot of the time and she told me that we were solid and not to worry. AND HERE IT IS... three weks ago she came home and yet again sighed about the cleaning that i had done, (i spent 1 hour on it and it was clean) i asked her why she was so unhappy and she broke down in tears and sead "im so unhappy living here, i have to leave" i sead to her in a moment of confusion hurt and mabe a little anger, ok i want you to be happy and you mean the world to me but if your going to move out asap - do it tonight.... she did and removed half of her stuff as fast as she could, still saying that we were still going to be ok she just needed to get away. i went to see her the next day, she hadnt slept and was crying all day, huging and kissing me telling me that she loved me and that she will never let go ect... so i made the desision to make a change and went to every estate agent in the area morning noon and night looking at places that we could move to, we viewed some together and desided that we had the one that we felt at home with (nice large and spacious with sea views). we went out for romantic dinners each day and held hands - all she sead whas that she loves me so much and never wants to loose me. i think ok i have done it.. i can rest for a day now, the next day i go to see her and she says that she is having worries about moving in due to finacial reasons (i dont earn lots but im ok), she agrees that she wants to stay the night. i feel the worse and when she eventualy calls me later that night she says that she wants to meet me, i sead your going to end it arnt you and she agrees... so i put the phone down in anger and hurt, and sent a text "dont calle me dont text me - i am a good guy and you have been hurtfull" i dont text her for 4 days and then i give in (silly me) i texed her "we have been freinds for nearly 3 years, i would like it if we could meet up and go for a drink or a walk so i can understand this all" she replyed 4 days later agreeing to see me for a walk. So i meet her on the beach and she crys saying things like "how did we ever get tot this, i love you so much and i cant eat or sleep, i miss you" i asked her if there was any way we could work this out and she says that she needs time to heal, and that she realy hopes that we can get back together some day in the future once she has sorted her life out. gutted and confused i left, she came round that night and collected most of the rest of her things, i had been having a drink with a freind up the road and came back to help her move her stuff out. then i made the mistake... i told her how much i loved her and that i will always fight for her... she went insular and tears rolled down her face, she got into the car and waved sadly goodbye. i havent seen her since, it has been 1 week since that final day. she has texed me once saying "im thinking of you xxx i hope your ok xxxx" i have not replyed or am i going to, she has realy hurt me and im still hurting. i just wish that i knew what was going on.... i do want her back as im a fighter for what i beleve in most which is love. thankyou for listening to my rant, i hope you can offer any advise and its also just nice to get this off my chest. much love x
Author mistrall Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 bump for any advise, not doing great over here
sensi Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You have to check this blog out - it's funny, heartbreaking yet realistic [COLOR=#660000]http://ridingsolo.wordpress.com/[/COLOR] It makes you realise you're not the only person in the world who's heart is breaking....
Author mistrall Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 although mabe realistic, not of much help
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