Mik12 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Ok so my ex has been pretty much toying with me for the past 2 months... we were together for over 2 years and broke up in october of 2009.. had 5 months NC and were back in contact for 2 months. So anyway to make a long story short I went NC on numerous occasions and she always cried and told me she wanted us to at least be friends but everytime shed find a way to get me to break NC.... So anyway about 2 weeks ago we had been in NC for about 10 days when she texted me that she was going to NYC for some reason... I asked her why she was telling me this and said that she thought Id be happy for her... I said I am but were not supposed to talk... have fun! So a few days pass and she calls me in a panick, shes on her way back from NY and needs a favor from me, shes crying but I dont let it phase me and tell her that our lives are separate now and that she needs to ask someone else. For some reason i still did her the favor and picked up what she needed... I called her to tell her also saying that this was the last time and that she needed to let me go complete NC. That night I went out with friends and she texted me to sleep over at her house and stupidly enough I did ( we didnt sleep together ) . Then after a few days she tells me that at first when I did her the favor it made her realize that ive always been there for her but that the next morning when she woke up next to me she didnt feel that same little spark...... So anyway It really hurt cause i finally thought we had a breaktrhough.. now im back in NC and its been 7 days. My question is: Is the whole realizing that she didnt have feelings the next morning BS? Is it simply the fact that she thought she was losing me and saw that I came running as soon as she asked me too so went back to not caring? What happened here? I really dont understand... no need to tell me to move on cause believe me thats what im trying to do.... just trying to understand what happened here. Thanks
listen_to_me_please Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 (edited) My question is: Is the whole realizing that she didnt have feelings the next morning BS? Is it simply the fact that she thought she was losing me and saw that I came running as soon as she asked me too so went back to not carin Yes, that is 100% what ihappen Also she's banging other dude. Whats happening is this: She's out there whoring (trying to find someone) and keeping you on a string just in case she doesn't find anyone. Your like the last ditch plan. She is 100% not in love with you. How you turn the situation around is: You change your number. Cut all Ties. Edited July 19, 2010 by listen_to_me_please
Author Mik12 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 My question is: Is the whole realizing that she didnt have feelings the next morning BS? Is it simply the fact that she thought she was losing me and saw that I came running as soon as she asked me too so went back to not carin Yes, that is 100% what ihappen Also she's banging other dude. Whats happening is this: She's out there whoring (trying to find someone) and keeping you on a string just in case she doesn't find anyone. Your like the last ditch plan. She is 100% not in love with you. How you turn the situation around is: You change your number. Cut all Ties. Im sorry but your advice is really not helpfull, things arent that simple and sometime people have issues that keep them from being able to commit...my ex has intimacy issues...anyway anyone else have insight
listen_to_me_please Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Hello, I'm sorry the truth hurts. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what you wanted to hear but what I've said was reality. Your ex girlfriend does not love you in the same you love her. To answer your question, YES, once the ex realized you would bend over backwards for her, she just lost all interest again. Someone who wants to be with you would not act in such a wishy-washy manner. In regards to my advice not being insightful. Let me put it as clear as I possibly can. Your relationship is over. She has not contacted you in 5 months and the times she does talk to you is when she wants or needs something. That does not indiciate romantic interest what so ever. More of user/push-over relationship. The issues she is having in regards to not being with you is simple: She's not into you. Don't try to justification her actions or make excuses for her. Its over. Move on. I'm sorry.
Author Mik12 Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 I truly dont believe its that simple... her actions and words that i havent included here because i could write a book with this crap, indicate that she still has feelings for me... and that much is obvious, she has even admitted it herself.... I was just trying to figure out why she went from wanting me to sleep over and wanting me to accompany her to a wedding and thinking about me during her entire trip to NY.... to all of a sudden going back to not caring
Stymie123 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Ignore all the words. Look only at her actions. What conclusion do you draw.
peaches1211 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Im sorry but your advice is really not helpfull, things arent that simple and sometime people have issues that keep them from being able to commit...my ex has intimacy issues...anyway anyone else have insight What about you it seems as if you would jump threw hurdles for her but shes not gonna commit or love you , you are too available. She is keeping you on a string like a puppet. Stay with her if you want to waste your life away! Or search for another more compatable person and love life!
djrim247 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Okay my sincere opinion, i think she idolized you or viewed you in a way that when she spent time with you she realize you werent like what she had envisioned or expected. one thing that i have learned that you shouldnt expect anything in life, if you do, you will most likely be let down, and very rarely things will go your way. so i just basically think she expected something else, and i get why you would feel bad because you got your hopes up and i see why you would call it a game because you think she is playing with you but in reality she doesnt even know what she wants. and she is just dealing with herself. Some advice that always helps me throught tough times... go with the flow, and dont do anything that you will ever regret like treat her wrongly and she will have nothing on you.. and know that whatever happens everything is going to be alright even though it doesnt seem like it. hope this helps
Author Mik12 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Ignore all the words. Look only at her actions. What conclusion do you draw. Well put, none of her actions back it up..... I just am so convinced that this girl still has feelings for me that its tough not to get my hopes up
A Hot Mess Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 When you made her realize that you were always there for her, it likely brought up all the other things she didn't like about the relationship as well. But really, keeping you on a string is both security and an ego boost for her. She's said herself that she's fallen below a certain interest level. If you stick around, that interest level will just gradually creep lower (especially if you continue to remind her why she left), and eventually she'll have no problem destroying you, when she finds another guy. Trust me, you don't want to stick around, getting your hopes up, for that conclusion. It's not a fun place.
DustySaltus Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Something happened with the new guy she was seeing and she was worried about going to the wedding alone. She probably got nostalgic and decided to see if you were still available to her. If you would've told her to leave you alone she probably would've been upset for a few days but then try and find another option. But then she probably got back with the new guy and changed her mind... It sounds just a little selfish to me, don't you think mik?
Author Mik12 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Something happened with the new guy she was seeing and she was worried about going to the wedding alone. She probably got nostalgic and decided to see if you were still available to her. If you would've told her to leave you alone she probably would've been upset for a few days but then try and find another option. But then she probably got back with the new guy and changed her mind... It sounds just a little selfish to me, don't you think mik? I know for a solid fact that she wasnt seeing any new guy so no I dont think that explains it.... selfish? yes. Not in denial or anything I just know withuot a doubt that she wasnt seeing someone at that moment...
DustySaltus Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I know for a solid fact that she wasnt seeing any new guy so no I dont think that explains it.... selfish? yes. Not in denial or anything I just know withuot a doubt that she wasnt seeing someone at that moment... Mik, a lot can happen in 5 months. But my point is that she is being selfish, contacting you when SHE needs something.
Author Mik12 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 Mik, a lot can happen in 5 months. But my point is that she is being selfish, contacting you when SHE needs something. yep that much is obvious... but part of me would still want things to work out... I mean im trying my best to move on... not contacting her and what not but I keep wondering what could have happened if I had tried to be friends.... Maybe she would have let her guard down and that would have made her see that we could be together again.... instead everytime I saw her the atmosphere was tense and unpleasant because I was always trying to figure out where we stood.
Phateless Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Ok so my ex has been pretty much toying with me for the past 2 months... we were together for over 2 years and broke up in october of 2009.. had 5 months NC and were back in contact for 2 months. So anyway to make a long story short I went NC on numerous occasions and she always cried and told me she wanted us to at least be friends but everytime shed find a way to get me to break NC.... So anyway about 2 weeks ago we had been in NC for about 10 days when she texted me that she was going to NYC for some reason... I asked her why she was telling me this and said that she thought Id be happy for her... I said I am but were not supposed to talk... have fun! So a few days pass and she calls me in a panick, shes on her way back from NY and needs a favor from me, shes crying but I dont let it phase me and tell her that our lives are separate now and that she needs to ask someone else. For some reason i still did her the favor and picked up what she needed... I called her to tell her also saying that this was the last time and that she needed to let me go complete NC. That night I went out with friends and she texted me to sleep over at her house and stupidly enough I did ( we didnt sleep together ) . Then after a few days she tells me that at first when I did her the favor it made her realize that ive always been there for her but that the next morning when she woke up next to me she didnt feel that same little spark...... So anyway It really hurt cause i finally thought we had a breaktrhough.. now im back in NC and its been 7 days. My question is: Is the whole realizing that she didnt have feelings the next morning BS? Is it simply the fact that she thought she was losing me and saw that I came running as soon as she asked me too so went back to not caring? What happened here? I really dont understand... no need to tell me to move on cause believe me thats what im trying to do.... just trying to understand what happened here. Thanks Sorry bro, this was just a leash tug. A test. You failed miserably. Cut this bitch out of your life. She's jerking you around and you deserve better than this crap. I'm proud of you for going NC so long, but really disappointed in you for giving in to her stupid ass. No matter what comes your way, ignore it. Unless a family member died or had a baby, in which case you offer your condolences or congratulations, but you go back to NC immediately. You dig?
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